Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

by Douglas Stone

The error we make in the realm of intentions is simple but profound : we assume we know the intentions of others when we don’t. Worse still, when we are unsure about someone’s intentions, we too often decide they are bad.

“You should never leave the toilet seat up, squeeze the toothpaste in the middle, or let the kids watch more than two hours of TV.”

When we think others have bad intentions toward us, it affects our behavior. And, in turn, how we behave affects how they treat us. Before we know it, our assumption that they have bad intentions toward us has come true.

If we hope to stay together over the long haul, we will sometimes have to compromise our preferences and meet in the middle.

if you provide that acknowledgment, you give the other person and the relationship something quite precious, something, perhaps, that they can only get from you.