Easing in is where you try to soften a message by delivering it indirectly through hints and leading questions. This is all too common in performance reviews: “So, how do you think you’ve done?” “Do you think you’ve really done as much as you could have?” “I have the same problem, but it probably would have been a little better to . . . . Wouldn’t you agree?” Easing in conveys three messages: “I have a view,” “This is too embarrassing to discuss directly,” and “I’m not going to be straight with you.” Not surprisingly, these messages increase both sides’ anxiety and defensiveness.
