What To Say When You Talk To Your Self

by Shad Helmstetter

One phrase of the right kind of self-talk can have an effect on your behavior, but it is only when you paint an entirely new picture for your subconscious mind that you will derive the full benefit from your self-talk.

BE SPECIFIC

Self-Talk is at its strongest and most effective when it is comprised of a specific set of concisely worded directions—usually a group of a dozen or more combined phrases, linked together on the same subject, which jointly paint a detailed picture of the better you which you would like to become, or the change in your life you would like to create.

“No matter what I do, I’m stressed out all the time;” “I just can’t relax,” or “The problems in my life never stop; I can’t get a break!”

POSITIVE SELF-TALK FOR FREEDOM FROM WORRY I never worry. Instead of worrying, I find solutions and I act on them. My mind is constantly in tune with the positive. It is bright, cheerful, enthusiastic, and full of good, positive thoughts and ideas. I am able to relax easily and comfortably in my body and in my mind. I am calm, confident, and self-assured. My mind is orderly and well-organized. I consciously choose what I think and I always choose those thoughts which are the most positive and beneficial for me. All of my thoughts create healthiness within me. My mind dwells only on those thoughts which create more harmony, balance, and well-being within me and in the world around me. I automatically, and always, think in a decisive and determined way. I am full of resolution and the absolute assurance of the best possible outcome in everything that I do. I choose to look at the world around me in the bright, healthy light of optimism and self-assurance. I do only those things which are best for me. I create the best within myself, I attract the best in others, and I find the best in the world around me. I willingly, and without fail, take care of the duties and obligations which I have accepted for myself, I commit only to those responsibilities which I know I can fulfill. I focus the attention of my mind only on those things that I can do something about. If I cannot affect it or direct it––I accept it. I keep my mind too busy thinking good, healt...

Most of those things we call bad habits are in reality the symptoms of something else which is going on inside of us.

It doesn’t just cure the symptom; it changes the problems that caused the symptoms in the first place.

TO CHANGE THE HABIT, CHANGE THE WORDS

Because every attitude we have directly affects how we feel about everything around us and what we do about it––our attitudes are important.

Programming creates beliefs, beliefs create attitudes, attitudes create feelings, feelings determine actions, and actions create results.

SELF-TALK FOR TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF I take full responsibility for everything about me––even the thoughts that I think. I am in control of the vast resources of my own mind. I alone am responsible for what I do and what I tell myself about me. No one can share this responsibility with me. I also allow others to accept their responsibilities far themselves and I do not try to accept their responsibilities for them. I enjoy being responsible. It puts me in charge of being me––and that’s a challenge I enjoy. I allow no one else, at any time, to assume control or responsibility over my life or over anything that I do. My responsibility to others is an extension of my own responsibility to myself. I choose to leave nothing about me up to chance. When it comes to me––and anything in my life––I choose to CHOOSE. My choices are mine alone to make for myself. I do not, at any time, allow anyone else to make my choices for me. And I accept full responsibility for every choice and decision I make. I always meet all of the obligations which I accept. And I accept no obligations which I will not meet. I am trustworthy. I can be counted on. I have accepted winning responsibility for myself––and I always live up to the responsibilities I accept. There is no they on whom I lay the blame, or with whom I share my own personal responsibilities. I have learned the great secret of mastering my own destiny. I have learned that “they” is “me.” I h...

SELF-TALK FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM I really am very special. I like who I am and I feel good about myself. Although I always work to improve myself and I get better every day, I like who I am today. And tomorrow, when I’m even better, I’ll like myself then, too. It’s true that there really is no one else like me in the entire world. There never was another me before, and there will never be another me again. I am unique––from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. In some ways I may look and act and sound like some others––but I am not them. I am me. I wanted to be somebody––and now I know I am I would rather be me than anyone else in the world. I like how I feel and I like how I think and I like how I do things. I approve of me and I approve of who I am. I have many beautiful qualities about me. I have talents and skills and abilities. I even have talents that I don’t even know about yet. And I am discovering new talents inside myself all the time. I am positive. I am confident. I radiate good things. If you look closely, you can even see a glow around me. I am full of life. I like life and I’m glad to be alive. I am a very special person, living at a very special time. I am intelligent. My mind is quick and alert and clever and fun. I think good thoughts, and my mind makes things work right for me. I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm and vitality. I am exciting and I really enjoy being me. I like to be around other people and...

The self-talk that will help you solve your problems is the same self-talk that will help you reach your goals. To the brain, overcoming problems and accomplishing goals are one and the same. To your subconscious mind, seeing yourself overcoming a challenge, solving a problem, and reaching a goal, the exact same set of directions are required––the self-talk is the same.

You may have a goal as practical as losing a little extra weight, doing better at work, getting a promotion, earning more income or saving more of what you earn, getting past depression, getting more organized, writing better business plans, or closing more sales.

Goals can be as important or as simple as having more free time, attending church more regularly, running a better household, getting good grades, having better personal relationships, being healthier, going to the symphony, writing a letter home, sending flowers a little more often, doing something special for someone else, looking good for the class reunion, smiling more often, conquering your slice in golf, or catching more fish.

I’m good at solving problems. I like challenges and I meet them head on. Problems are my teachers. They help me to learn and grow. Without them, I would be going nowhere. With them, I am moving forward in the direction of my own goals. There is no problem which I cannot conquer. I am strong in mind, body, and spirit. My will, my strength, and my determination are always greater than any problem I face. When I meet a new problem, I do not see the problem as my enemy. I know that finding the solution to the problem will move me forward in my own personal growth. Because I know that problems are a key ingredient in my spiritual and mental education and preparation, I recognize that all problems are important to me. I do not fear problems, I solve them. I do not ignore problems, I confront them. I do not avoid problems, I conquer them. I know that every problem holds within itself the keys to its own solution. Therefore, the better I understand the problem, the clearer I am able to see its solution. Having problems is not a problem for me. I am confident, self-assured, positive, and determined. I always know that I am going to overcome any problem I encounter––and I always do. I am good at breaking large obstacles down into smaller pieces that are easier to handle. And I never make any problem appear to be larger than it actually is. I never worry. I turn “worry time” into positive, constructive, “solution time.” I keep my mind alert and open to all solutions...

I am organized and in control of my life. I am in control of myself, my thoughts, my time, my actions, and my future. I know what to do and when to do it, and I do everything I need to do, when I need to do it. I program my mind to make the maximum use of my time. I am in control of my time and how to use it. I like being organized, efficient, and on top of things. Controlling my time keeps me that way. I never waste time––I always “plan” time. And because I plan my time, I always have time to do the things I choose to do. Each day I become more organized and in control of all areas of my life––at home, at work, in my mind and in my thoughts, in everything that I do. I am very well organized. Each night I make a list of things I need to do the next day. I set my priorities and I follow them. I am always on time. I am always right where I need to be, exactly when I need to be there. Being on time is easy for me and the more I control my time and the more organized I become, the easier it is. I am in control of my feelings, my emotions, my attitudes, and my needs. I control them; they do not control me. I have the winning vote in the outcome of my own actions. And I choose to live my life by choice, not chance. Therefore, I take the time to take control. I have an organized and orderly mind. Because I think in an organized way, I conduct my life in an organized manner. I think in the most positive and productive way at all times and in all things. The w...

I am in control of myself in every way––at all times and in all situations. Each time I sit down to eat I reaffirm my determination to achieve my goal. By eating right, and never giving in, I am reaching the weight I want. Whether eating in or eating out, I really enjoy eating less. I never feel the need to finish the food in front of me. I eat only what I should––and never one bite more. One way to weight-loss that’s easy and works, is less food on my plate, and less on my fork. By ordering less when I eat out, and by serving myself smaller portions at home, I keep myself aware of the importance of staying with my goal––each and every day. “Less on my plate means less on my waist.” When I sit down to eat, at no time do I allow anyone else to influence, tempt, or discourage me in any negative way. What I eat, and the goals I reach, are up to me. And I give no one the right to hinder or control my success. Although others may benefit from my success, I. am achieving my weight-loss goals for my own personal reasons––for myself, my life, my future, and my own personal well-being. I am never, at any time, tempted to take one bite more than I should. I am strong, I am capable of reaching my goal, and I am doing it. Being in situations which put a lot of food in front of me is not a problem to me now. I simply say “No” to the food and “Yes” to my success. I enjoy sitting down to eat. Each time I do I conquer my past, and I create a trimmer, ha...

I can do anything I believe I can do. I’ve got it and every day I get more of it. I have talent, skills, and ability. I set goals and I reach them. I know what I want out of life. I go after it and I get it. People like me, and I feel good about myself. I have a sense of pride in whoa am and I believe in myself. Nothing seems to stop me. I have a lot of determination. I turn problems into advantages. I find possibilities in things that other people never give a chance. I have a lot of energy––I am very alive. I enjoy life and I can tell it and so can others. I keep myself up, looking ahead, and liking it. I know that I can accomplish anything I choose, and I refuse to let anything negative hold me back or stand in my way. I am not afraid of anything or anyone. I have strength, power, conviction, and confidence. I like challenges and I meet them head on, face to face––today especially. I am on top of the world and I’m going for it. I have a clear picture in my mind of what I want. I can see it in front of me. I know what I want and I know how to get it. I know that it’s all up to me and I know I can do it. Roadblocks don’t bother me. They just mean that I am alive and running, and I’m not going to stand still for anything. I trust myself I’ve got what it takes––plenty of it––and I know how to use it. Today, more than ever. Today I am unstoppable. I’ve got myself together and I’m getting more together every day. And today––look out world, here I come. Lim...

I know that greatness begins in the minds of the great. I know that what I believe about myself is what I will become––so I believe in the best for myself. I am practical and realistic, and I keep my feet on solid ground. But I also give myself the freedom to live up to my fullest expectations. I never limit myself by the short-sighted beliefs of others––instead I open myself up to the broad horizons of unlimited possibility. When someone says I “cannot,” I answer “why not?” When someone says “It’s impossible,” I answer that nothing is any more impossible than I believe it to be. And I truly believe that with my individual fortress of faith, with me, anything is possible. I have drive, spirit, stamina, and endurance. I have a good strong winning attitude about myself and about everything I do. I am practical and realistic, but I also believe in the best possible outcome of any situation. If I have ever had any doubts about myself in the past, today is a good day to put them aside. It’s a good day to throw out any disbelief that ever held me back. I know that I am headed in the right winning direction, and I look forward and never look back. I have the ability to focus on one thing at a time, so I concentrate my attention on the job at hand––and I get it done. Today is one of those days when nothing can stand in my way. When I need extra determination, I’ve got it. When I need more energy and drive, I’ve got it. I’ve got the power to get it done and the patien...

I begin each day with a clear mind and a specific plan to get the most from my time and my effort. I follow my plan and I reach my goals. An accurate description of me would include the words professional, hard-working, qualified, skillful, energetic, enthusiastic, organized, determined, and highly successful. I am good at persuading others to my point of view. That is because I first and always recognize and understand the point of view of the individual to whom I am presenting my ideas, my product, or my service. I know how to listen––and I do. I have learned to hear not only the words which are being said, but I also listen to the unspoken thoughts which lie behind them. I am always prepared. I take the time to do it right. In everything I do, I am prepared, confident, self-assured, and successful. I always take care of the details in my work. I enjoy the details of selling and I always tend to them on time and with full attention. I keep myself “up.” I know that making good sales presentations means keeping myself up, energetic, and in control. That is exactly the way I am, and my sales presentations are always professional and effective. I never avoid confronting a problem or making a sales call of any kind. I keep myself working and that keeps me winning. I deserve to make the sales I create. I know that success in selling starts with seeing myself as the capable, productive individual that I am. I am always sincere and honest. I believe that all ac...

I like solving problems. I always deal with problems and I never avoid them. I’ll take the call and I’ll tackle the problem head on.

I enjoy relaxing while I am driving in the car. I always give myself the necessary amount of time to get anywhere I am going. I always arrive at––or before––the time I need to be there. Traffic lights change at their own discretion: not mine. If the light changes before I get there, I will stop, wait for the light to change, and relax while I am waiting. Slow-moving or standing traffic is not a problem to me. I enjoy the time I have to organize my thoughts and think about those things which are beneficial to me. I will get there when I get there.

A few minutes of anger, anxiety, negative stress, or frustration can literally add to our physical systems, chemical toxins that last for hours.

How we react to those things in life which we can do nothing about will always be the truest test of our own self-control; our own individual sense of self, and our ability to manage our minds and ourselves in a way that keeps us coming out on top and at peace with where we are. That is a part of maturity. That is taking responsibility for ourselves and living it, every day.

It’s raining today, and that’s fine with me. I’m going to have a good day, and a little rain can’t stop me.

It is a self-generating cycle: thought, emotional response, physiological response, thought, emotional response, and so on, until something breaks or changes the cycle.

you can successfully scuttle an entire day by allowing even a single event to create the first step in a negative cycle. This negative cycle is not caused by the problem or event that appears to set it off––the cycle begins with how you respond to the problem in the first place.

But you can, instead, within moments, change how you feel about them. Instead of creating a negative cycle, you can create a positive cycle anytime you choose.

I don’t mind standing in line. That’s where I am and I’m doing what I need to do. Standing in line doesn’t bother me—and I really like getting things done.

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Our thoughts are the gold coins in the treasure chest of our inheritance.

MAKE A “TOP TEN” LIST OF THE SELF-TALK YOU WANT TO CHANGE

“Things aren’t going very well for me at work,” can easily be changed to, “I enjoy my work. I understand the problems, I can deal with them, and I get past them.”

“I just can’t seem to communicate with my son anymore,” can just as easily be rephrased into a new program: “I take the time to listen, talk, and communicate with my son. I’m patient and understanding. It’s worth working at, and I do.”

“have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning,” certainly won’t help you get out of bed any faster or easier. Every time the thought comes up, change the words to, “It’s easy for me to get out of bed in the morning. I like getting up and going for it.”

“Today has been a tough day,”

“Today was fine. I feel good about myself. And tomorrow will be even better.”

“I really need to get more exercise,” will only help you put it off. I like the Self-talk phrase, “I exercise every day.” I would add a few supporting words like, “I enjoy exercising and I really like how it makes me feel. I like keeping myself in shape mentally and physically. I look good and I feel good; and daily exercise keeps me that way. I look forward each day to exercising my body, exercising my mind, and keeping myself fit and winning.”

“I’d like to put more money into savings but I just don’t seem to be able to,”

“I am good at earning what I need, and more. I’m good at saving money. Every month, without fail, I put something aside. Each week, each month, and each year, I do what I need to do to become financially more secure.”

“I wish I had more time,” to the words “I make time and I take time to do what I need to do.”

“I am responsible for choosing when; where, and how I spend my time. And I choose to spend my time in a way that creates the greatest benefits in my life.”

Personal growth stasis: Stops your growth Wastes your time Drains your energy Lowers your self-esteem Affects your health Makes you feel guilty Keeps you off focus Justifies doing nothing Stops you from setting new goals Makes inaction a habit Reinforces negative programs Causes you to fail

1. As you read this, set a goal to bring positive self- talk permanently into your life.

(A goal that is not written down has a less than 10% chancing of coming to life. The moment you write the same goal down on paper, the chances of you achieving that goal immediately climb to 75% or more.)

My goal is: To practice positive self-talk every day, and make it a permanent part of my life.

2. Listen to self-talk sessions a minimum of fifteen minutes a day.

3. Write a list of the old, negative self-talk programs you’ve been using in the past that you’d like to change.