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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Steve Peters
Read between
June 14 - November 5, 2018
name ten things under your control that you could do to make you feel happier. Then ask yourself if you have done them recently.
Your delayed happy list might include such things as having friends round for an evening; going out for a meal; holidays; playing sport;
Chimp will always demand something to look forward to, so nurture it by letting it know of future events.
Keep these lists to hand so you can refer to them and move into a happier frame of mind. Try to keep these lists in line with your values,
Keep a diary and record the things that make you happy and also the things that stop you being happy.
One very sure way of giving yourself some honest and frank advice is to invent the virtual twin.
Your twin is your best friend and loves you and is looking out for you. Give the twin a name. Then imagine that you are this twin.
give advice to yourself and tell some home truths about what you should and should not be doing with situations, your life, and your problems.
Take time to think about habits and thoughts that you have that are destructive in order to find your Gremlins.
A battle means you will have to expend lots of effort and energy to win. A lifestyle means relaxing and living to expectations without effort.
The Gremlin is a belief that happiness is a battle; the Autopilot is that happiness is a lifestyle.
Replace the Gremlin with an Autopilot of seeing shades of grey and being flexible,
If you want to be happy picking roses then be mindful of the thorns.
Avoiding things that cause you to have unwanted feelings is a sensible way to stay happy.
Smash the crystal ball and kick out the Gremlin. Replace it with an Autopilot of ‘cross each bridge as I come to it’.
If you have worries that cannot be changed or understood then accept them and stop entertaining them; you have a choice NOT to think thoughts that don’t help or don’t have answers to them.
don’t put yourself or remain in situations that are making you unhappy and then complain.
You can admire them and even be in love with them, or revere them, but you can never share your life with them. They are dangerous and can do some serious damage to you.
Happiness is more about being at ease with yourself
Happy people learn to become their own biggest fan and accept themselves as they are and support themselves.
spend some considerable time implementing the recommendations contained in it.
Keep a diary of each day and note down just a few lines of things or thoughts that brought you happiness.
The Chimp is saying, ‘I am basing my confidence on my belief in my ability to reach certain levels that I have to achieve and I cannot deal with the consequences of not reaching them.
the Human is saying, ‘I am basing my confidence on doing my best to reach certain levels that I would like to achieve and as an adult I can always deal with any consequences
choose the basis of best effort, you will have full control and your Human will take the blood supply.
You cannot do better than your best. Doing your best means that, at the time you tried, you gave it everything. Some things you got right and some things you didn’t get right.
doing your best is different to achieving your best, and they don’t always go together.
Learning to accept the fact that you are human with flaws and faults is a great relief.
don’t be afraid to say, ‘I don’t know.’
When you next have a loss of confidence remind yourself that you are in fact making a choice.
Feeling secure will make your Chimp happy. The Chimp will always look to external surroundings for its security. The Human will look internally to beliefs for its security.
it is not possible to live a life completely free of risk, but your Chimp will attempt to do this
The Human accepts that vulnerability and risk are part of everyday life
Security is relative.
We are never fully secure in life
We live in a world that is in a constant state of change and it cannot e...
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risk attached to everything we do.
accept that risk is part of everyday life.
cannot control a...
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can control so...
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face fears and address them.
accept that vulnerability is part of everyday life.
sit down and think through the truths attached to risk, vulnerability and security, and make sure that you have registered them clearly into your Computer.
When you have written out your concerns then you can write down the truths next to them. If you do not live by these truths then the Chimp will constantly become distressed and overreact
the Human must accept that the Chimp is not built to feel secure and will always have its moments and need constant attention.
Rely on your troop in times of insecurity.
Basing your security on one other person is usually unwise.
separate out your physical dependence on someone from your emotional security
gain security from within, by basing your peace of mind on beliefs, and let your Human guide
Whenever your Chimp is feeling insecure, be practical and where possible seek reassurance.
