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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Steve Peters
The piano player
‘I am not at my best today,’ would be a typical response from the Chimp, with either a cessation of the music or the Chimp trying to play the piano, which will be poorly done!
The more you rehearse things, the more they become automatic, robust and quick.
The first is when the Human intervenes by managing the Chimp to stop it acting out on its thoughts, the second is by getting the help of others and the third is by using the Computer to manage the Chimp.
You cannot stop the Chimp from reacting to anything that happens (shown as the first step on both pathway options), however, you can stop the Chimp from acting on this reaction.
The Human needs to use ‘facts’ and ‘truth’ in order to take the person into logical thinking and stop the Chimp from progressing with emotional thinking.
Consequently, if we can get the Computer to act before the Chimp thinks then we will avoid the battle between the Human and the Chimp.
In order to do this you need to have thought through what situations might happen and have a response programmed into the Computer ready to act.
If we rehearse our beliefs and truths regularly then the Computer will stop the Chimp from reacting.
The Stone of Life is the ultimate power source in our Psychological Mind.
Personality is broadly defined as ingrained behaviours and responses that are predictable in a person.
your personality can apparently suddenly change by being asked to take responsibility for something.
Very often the way that we interpret our experiences is more important than the experiences that we have.
Generally most Chimps are dominated by nature with some input from nurture, whereas most Humans are dominated by nurture with some input from nature.
The real personality, that is truly you, is the Human. The Chimp merely hijacks you and presents something that is often not what you want and indeed is not the real you.
How flexible and adaptable you are to different situations will also determine how successful you will be in your ventures.
People who have a positive image of themselves and of others, and who live in a world that is perceived as pleasant, are far more likely to have the same kind of personality.
Remember: the person that you want to be is the person that you really are.
I would like you to see yourself as the person that you want to be, but the Chimp and some Gremlins are stopping you. With this understanding you can move forward by getting frustrated with the Chimp and Gremlins and not yourself, and then work on managing the Chimp and removing the Gremlins.
However, when they manage their Chimp and maintain their Computer then the real person emerges.
It is easiest to work on each aspect one at a time and to monitor your progress.
Developing the Human and bringing out the best in you is about: • Developing yourself • Managing your Chimp and removing the Gremlins • Communicating effectively • Having the right people around you • Creating a world for yourself to live in • Looking after yourself • Getting quality in your life
Summary key points • The Chimp always interprets first before the Human. • The Chimp only hands over to the Human if there is no danger or perceived threat. • The Human can intervene to stop the Chimp reacting by using facts and truths. • The Computer can be programmed to settle the Chimp down before it acts. • Personality is a mixture of Human, Chimp and Computer. • Nature and nurture both influence your personality. • Your Mindset affects the way that you come across. • You can work on the Human, Chimp and Computer to adjust your personality. • You are the person that you want to be but you
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He would typically continue with these actions, such as washing his hair until all the shampoo was gone or asking questions incessantly.
People have different physical brains.
In effect, our relationships with others are very often dictated by our expectation of them and our reactions to them. Autism is an extreme example to try to drive the point home.
The estimate varies, but a rough figure is that this kind of brain occurs in around 1 in 150 people.
Simply speaking, the brain of a psychopath lacks the Humanity Centre that the rest of us have, which is in the Human part of our heads.
Don’t expect the psychopath to change – the brain is hard-wired.
Snow White Mindset
If challenged they either become aggressive and accusatory or they become suitably depressed and tearful and therefore use passive aggression against you (because of course they will point out that it’s your fault that they are depressed and tearful).
You can either be a victim in life or you can get on with it with a GENUINE smile.
Nobody likes a victim. • Nobody owes you anything. • Everybody likes a positive-acting person. • Happiness is not something to be guilty about. • Happiness is a choice that you make. • Looking after your happiness is not selfish. • Life is what you make of it, not what it throws at you. • Everybody is responsible for his or her own actions and also attitudes. • Assertiveness is normal and what adults do.
Alpha Wolf Mindset
It means learning not to personalise attacks, understanding that they are very unlikely to change, being assertive (which they will usually respect), avoiding confrontation (where you are unlikely to have a good outcome), staying at peace within yourself and, finally, wisely recognising when it is time for you to move on.
Try not to make assumptions about others. • Try not to have preconceived expectations of others. • Beware of prejudice.
It is always useful to remember that every person is living within his or her own world and at times it may not be a pleasant one. Finding out about the world they live in, or accepting that there may be influences on them that you are not aware of, can help to stop assumptions being made.
A golden rule for understanding people and situations is to ALWAYS try to establish THE FACTS before you make your assessment.
Don’t accept information about somebody else’s opinion unless it comes directly from that person.
If you meet someone and do not have any preconceived ideas about them, or hold prejudice or expectations, then you are more likely to engage constructively with them and to find out who they really are.
Research shows that if your Chimp gets this first impression wrong then it will take it about seven more meetings with that person before it changes its mind!
Humans look for evidence and then draw up conclusions. Chimps draw up conclusions then look for evidence to support them.
The best line of the book.
You are going to be ‘tolerant and compromise to some extent’.
Chimps are characteristically inflexible and highly intolerant of others.
If you enter a relationship with demands or expectations that the other person should do something towards this relationship then you are likely to have a stormy passage.
Successful people don’t make demands of others but set the scene so that the Human in others can respond, rather than their Chimp.
Have realistic expectations of people
The bottom line is that it is your decision to remain with them and to accept them as they are or to leave them and it is their right to act in the way that they want to.
However, how someone wants to use their time or chooses to behave in their personal relationship with you is up to them. You always have the right to walk away.
If you want a painting then search for an artist
Not all people are going to be friendly. • Some people never change. • Some people never understand. • Some people are not going to like you. • People and Chimps vary from day to day. • No one is all bad. • No one is all good. • No one is going to agree with everything you say, every time.
