The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

by Steve Peters

The main female hormone, oestrogen, functions to promote maternal drives, nesting instinct and passivity. The main male hormone, testosterone, gives a hi...

there is not a feminine side to men or a masculine side to women, there are just characteristics. Understanding the Human – the Humanity Centre

Understanding the Human – the Humanity Centre The Humanity Centre is based on ethics and morals and is the part of the brain in the Human that lights

The Humanity Centre is based on ethics and morals and is the part of the brain in the Human that lights up on a brain scanner when we show the characteristic...

up on a brain scanner when we show the characteristics of what it takes to live in a society. So, for example, when people show empathy or guilt this Centre will light up because it receives an increased blood supply and uses more oxygen to function. This demonstrates that it is activated. This Centre contains the unwritten rules of Humanity. Here are some of the operational features of the Humanity Centre It has to be said that not all Humans possess these qualities, as some Humans are...

Here are some of the operational features of the...

It has to be said that not all Humans possess these qualities, as some Humans are inherently unpleasant and dishonest. However, generally the Humanity Centre gives the potential for these qualities to emerge. Honesty

Honesty

Compassion The basis of society

The basis of society is compassion. An empathy and understanding of what others are going through and altruistic, selfless support for them are the hallmarks of a developed society. How human society treats its most vulnerable members sets us apart from most animal societies.

is compa...

Conscience

Having a conscience is a cornerstone for a Human. Without a conscience, we lack remorse and fail to develop ourselves. The presence of a conscience gives rise to feelings of guilt and shame, which can lead to regret and the desire to change or to make recompense.

Interestingly, much research has been done on the personality generally known as the psychopath. There is a substantial body of scientific evidence to show that the psychopathic individual does not demonstrate the activation, or possibly lacks the presence, of the Humanity Ce...

Law-a...

Self-control Self-control is probably the biggest factor that marks us out from the chimpanzee.

us out from the chimpanzee. The real chimpanzee works on impulse and lacks emotional control.

The real chimpanzee works on impulse and lacks em...

The inner Chimp has little self-control and demands immediate gratification whereas Humans can delay rewards and can choose not to work with impulse and emotion. This factor is graphically demonstrated in the ‘Stanford Marshmallow’ experiment. This experiment on pre-school children has been replicated in various forms and consistent results found. In essence, children were offered a marshmallow to eat but told that if they waited they would receive more marshmallows at a later time. The children who delayed eating the marshmallow were found to be more successful in later life and those who could not control their impulse for immediate gratification were less successful.

Key Point Managing your impulsive, emotional Chimp as an adult will be one of the biggest factors determining how successful you are in life. Sense of purpose Humans work best when they have a sense of purpose. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is, as long as there is one! Without a sense of purpose the Human lacks direction and meaning to life. Achievement and satisfaction These are two qualities that the Human seems to be fulfilled by. Generally, achievement and satisfaction are dependent on the sense of purpose. They can come from a career, work or leisure activities. Two different personalities We will look at your personality, and how it can be

Managing your impulsive, emotional Chimp as an adult will be one of the biggest factors determining how successful you are in life.

Sense of ...

Achievement and satisfaction

Two different personalities

changed, in greater detail later in the book once we have a full picture of the entire psychological mind.

Recognising the two different personalities will help you to understand yourself better and also to manage each of them to get the best out of both. Most people can recognise that when they are not emotional but calm, they think and behave quite differently to when they are emotional and under stress.

Summary key points • You, the Human, have a personality, agenda and

Humanity Centre. You think logically and work with facts and truth. • Your Chimp has a personality, agenda and Jungle Centre. It thinks emotionally and uses impressions and feelings. • The Chimp is an emotional machine that will hijack you, if you allow it to. It is not good or bad: it is a Chi...

The Chimp is an emotional machine that will hijack you, if you allow it to. It is not good or bad: it is a Chimp. It can be your best friend or you...

Chapter 3 The Divided Planet (PART 2) How to manage your Chimp NOW THAT YOU have an understanding of the two different beings in your head and how they operate, you can start working with them. You can begin by using a three-step process: 1. Recognise who is in charge: the Human or the Chimp. 2. Understand the rules of how the brain works and ACCEPT these. 3. Nurture and manage your Chimp to get the best results for you.

Step 1: How to recognise who is in charge The first step is to be able to recognise who is in control, the Chimp or the Human. You can ask a very simple question that will give you an easy way of recognising who is in charge.

Key Point The golden rule is that whenever you have feelings, thoughts or behaviours that you do not want or welcome, then you are being hijacked by your Chimp.

The very simple question, therefore, is to begin with ‘Do I want…’ and then finish the sentence. For example: ‘Do I want these feelings?’ or ‘Do I want these thoughts?’ or ‘Do I want to be behaving this way?’ If the answer is ‘no’ then you are in Chimp mode and if

the answer is ‘yes’ then you are i...

Some typical Chimp thinking

There are some typical Chimp phrases worth watching out for that will give away when it is thinking for you. ‘But what if…?’ ‘But what if…?’ is the Chimp’s favourite way to open a question. ‘But what if it goes wrong?’ ‘But what if I can’t do it?’ ‘But what if the sky falls down?’ The Chimp very often unsettles you with ‘what if’ questions. Occasionally the Human asks ‘what if’ questions but these are usually constructive in order to plan rather than useless worrying about things that often can’t be controlled or may not even happen. ‘But I feel…’ or ‘But I don’t feel…’ ‘But I feel tired so I won’t do it.’ ‘But I feel lacking in motivation therefore I can’t start.’ ‘But I feel concerned that bad things might happen.

Again, the Human may agree with the feelings that the Chimp is offering when they are logical and wise. For example, if you have come down with a flu bug then it is probably wise to say, ‘But I feel unwell so I had better not start digging the garden.’ Key Point Remember that Chimps like to go on how they feel to decide on future actions, whereas Humans tend to go on what needs to be done and also how they will feel at the end of the day when they look back on how they used their time. These are two very different approaches. Step 2: Understanding the fixed

process of how the brain receives information All information goes to the Chimp first The process is always the same as you go about your daily routines: in every situation and action, all input goes to the Chimp first. The Chimp then decides if there is anything to worry about. If there is no concern then the Chimp goes to sleep and hands over to the Human. If the Chimp is concerned, then it will hold on to the blood supply in the brain and will make its own decisions on what is going on. The Human and the Chimp both think in the here and now and both interpret situations as they happen. The

Human interprets things in a calm and logical manner. The Chimp interprets things in an emotional manner. The Chimp and the Human can work effectively together. The Chimp with its i...

is the norm for most of us to run on emotion throughout our day and there is nothing wrong with this. Problems arise when the Chimp gives us a suggestion that is not appropriate and we then allow it to control us and don’t know how to stop the Chimp from dominating us. Why can’t we take the power off the Chimp and make decisions? The simple answer is that the Chimp is more powerful and acts more quickly than the Human.

you must learn to manage the Chimp if you are to be the person that you want to be. It is no use trying to control a Chimp with willpower. I call this ‘arm-wrestling the Chimp’. We all learn at about the age of three that willpower is not a very good way to do most things. It only works when the Chimp is asleep, indifferent or agrees. When the Chimp has a different agenda then willpower goes out of the window. So we must learn different ways to deal with the Chimp. Key Point Willpower is not a good way to try and manage your Chimp – don’t arm-wrestle the Chimp!

So when you go about your daily routine the Chimp continually scans for danger and if it perceives any threat, or gets worried or concerned, then it refuses to release control of your thinking. It now works with emotion to deal with the situation. You, the Human, can recognise this but are often powerless to do anything because your Chimp hijacks you and you are left with unpleasant emotions. We can see this happen on a brain scanner with the blood supply being used by the Chimp and the Human trying to get control. The inner battle between Chimp and Human is on! The Chimp is five times as strong as the Human so the Human has no chance if it is just a battle of strength.

Key Point A chimpanzee is five times as strong as a human being. Similarly, your emotional Chimp is five times stronger than you are. Don’t try to control it, manage it. You need a management plan!

The inner battle: the clash and struggle for power between the Human and the Chimp Either you or your Chimp will make the decisions in your life. If you both agree then there will be peace. When you don’t agree with the Chimp, then it typically attacks you and the attack can be emotionally very painful. Managing this struggle is critical to happiness

and success. The basic way that your emotions work is that the Chimp interprets what is happening and then offers the Human an emotion and a suggestion of how to deal with the situation. The Human then makes the decision on whether to accept the Chimp’s offer or reject it. If the Human agrees with the Chimp’s offer and accepts, then there is no problem and we act on our emotions. However, if the Human decides to reject the Chimp’s offer then we have a problem because the Chimp is very likely to kick off and refuse to behave. It will then create havoc emotionally until either it gets its way and hijacks us or until we learn how to manage the emotion without acting on it. Part of the problem is that most people don’t realise that the Chimp is merely making an offer and not a command. You do not have to follow your emotions; you have a choice.

In your head the two of you are now battling for control. The Human will decide who wins but only if it knows what to do. If the Human has the skill then it can calm the Chimp down and deal with the situation. If the Human hasn’t got the skill then the Chimp will take over and the Human may feel upset by the way the Chimp acted.

Sex and the roaming Chimp Sometimes the Chimp’s drives land us in big trouble. Eating a piece of cake is one thing; involving yourself in an affair is a much more serious problem. In this case there is the potential for lots of people to get hurt. Many people have Humans that are determined to be faithful and monogamous. However, their Chimps have a different agenda with a powerful sex drive and this frequently takes them in search of encounters. Recognising and dealing with seriously powerful drives such as this is a skill and one that takes effort. We will look at this under Chimp Management.

Your Chimp – YOUR Responsibility AND ACCOUNTABILITY!

Remember: you can’t use your Chimp as an excuse. If you had a dog and it bit someone, you couldn’t just say, ‘Sorry but it was the dog, not me.’ You are responsible for the dog and its actions. Likewise, you are totally responsible for your Chimp and its actions. So no excuses! You cannot say, ‘Well, sorry, but it was just my Chimp so how can I be to blame?’ or ‘Oh well, I said and did some terrible things, therefore it was my Chimp so don’t blame me.’ You have a responsibility to manage your Chimp. You can work on managing the Chimp so that you can stop it making you feel bad and also harming others. Chimp Management is a skill and takes time and you may need help from someone who knows how to help you to deal with your emotions and impulses. There is little excuse for not taking responsibility, by helping yourself or getting help. Key Point You can’t change the nature of your Chimp BUT

you are responsible for managing it. Step 3: How to manage the Chimp and develop the Human The Chimp’s drives won’t change but its behaviours can A crucial step in Mind Management is accepting that your Chimp’s fundamental drives do not change. You can’t change the nature of the Chimp that you are working with. It is an emotional machine that is never going to be programmed differently. Your Chimp will always act ...