Reckless (The Powerless Trilogy, #2)

by Lauren Roberts

For the reckless souls who dare to love and be loved

Paedyn

hiii pae

“Don’t just stand there. Search the place and convince me that you’re useful.” A shiver runs down my spine at the sound of that cool voice, the one I’ve heard sound like both a caress and a command. I stiffen, slipping slightly down the sooty wall. He’s here.

hi kai

“Tell me, darling, do you think of me often?” His voice is a murmur, as if his lips were pressed against my ear. I shiver, knowing exactly what that feels like. If he knows I’m here then why hasn’t he— “Do I haunt your dreams, plague your thoughts, like you do mine?”

ALL THE TIME pls im already having a breakdown

I hear the humor in his voice as he sighs. “Where are you, Little Psychic?”

The sight and smell of so much blood made me sick, made me think of my father bleeding out in my arms, of Adena doing the same. Adena. Tears prick my eyes, forcing me to blink away the image of her lifeless body in the sandy Pit.

pls im still unwell after her book

“It’s a good thing you’re not here,” he says softly, a tone I never thought I’d hear from him again. “Because I still haven’t found my courage.”

She’s no fool. She knows she can’t make the jump. My gaze snaps to the Imperials gawking up at her. “Must I do everything for you?” My voice is cold. “Go get her.” But then my eyes wander back up to the roof. Empty. Foolish of me to think she’d make this easy.

thats my girl

She is a vicious little thing.

I buried someone who tried to kill her once. Simply because I knew it was something she would have wanted. I carried Sadie’s dead body through the dark Whispers Forest during that first Trial because I knew Paedyn was falling apart when I left her to spin that ring on her thumb. If it were up to me, I would have never buried the body of someone who tried to kill her. But I wasn’t thinking of myself when I’d done it.

“She would have buried you if she weren’t so busy running from me, you know,” I murmur to the body beside me, confirming that I have, in fact, gone mad.

I’d never given a second thought to what became of my soldiers’ bodies. And yet, here I am, hauling a man over my shoulder because of a girl who despises doling out death.

Banishing the Ordinaries with their families instead of outrightly executing them was a kindness, however small. But”—his eyes darken—“you repeatedly disobeyed Father’s orders. Again and again.” I sigh through my nose, exasperated. At the mention of Father, I’ve lost the argument before it’s even begun. In Kitt’s eyes, nothing I say can justify an action against the previous king.

SIGH.

We stare at each other, eyes locked and throats lodged with unspoken words. I want to protest, beg my mouth to open and spew a convincing string of words that contradict his accusation. But he’s right, and we both know it. My feelings are what freed her in the first place.

“Whatever I felt for her died the day she killed him,” Kitt says simply.

i believe that

“And I’ll get my revenge. For her.”

Strong arms. I’m being carried. My eyes fly open. I’m smothered by darkness, swaddled in a blanket of blackness that the sky has thrown atop us. With eyes made utterly useless at the moment, I focus on the feel of a rough hand beneath my knee, its twin encircling my shoulders. It’s him. He found me.

is it actually him??

“W-what? Look, I saw you in the desert from my post, and I thought you were dead, but when I got there you were breathing.”

who the hell is that

“You wouldn’t happen to be that king murderer, huh? You know, the ‘Silver Savior’-turned-killer?”

KING MURDERER?

“Who else knows about me?” He thrashes against my hold, only earning him another twist of his broken wrist. He cries out before spitting his next words. “You’re a crazy bitch, you know that?” “Yes,” I sigh, “I know that, and you know that. See, what I’m asking is if anyone else knows that.”

Perhaps he is warming up to me, after all.

“Ah, yes. You’re quite the thief now. Though you still need some practice. Your hands are too heavy.” A frown tugs at her lips as we walk, so I simply add, “The best thieves know how to distract who they’re stealing from. Get their mind off the money in their pocket, and it’s yours.” She looks up at me, head tilted. “How do you know so much about stealing?” I’m silent long enough to let my thoughts wander back to the person who distracted me more than any other. “Because,” I sigh, “even I’ve been the victim of a great thief.”

“So, is Shadow up for another round?” He’s found me.

omg

I’ve found her. In the middle of a damn fight, of all things. I shouldn’t be surprised.

I used to welcome the idea of drowning in those blue eyes of hers. But now, seeing the disdain she stares me down with, I realize that drowning alone wasn’t what I craved, but sinking together.

oh thats so good

If she is Shadow, then I am Flame. This girl is the very thing I can’t seem to escape—can’t seem to go anywhere without the remnants of her following. Where I am, she is. Whether it’s in the flesh or in the fragments of my mind. And where there is a flame, there is always a shadow. She is my inevitable.

And then it exhales. Time resumes. And I curl my fingers over the edge of the roof to lift myself up. I swing my legs up in one swift movement, standing in the next. First, there is nothing. Second, there is everything. There is her.

“Am I allowed to speak now, or will you be stabbing me?” I bow my head closer to her, ignoring the sting of a blade at my throat. “I know how good you are at that.” She sighs through her nose. “You are welcome to speak so long as it’s to accept my offer.” “I hadn’t realized you were in any position to negotiate,” I say coolly. “You should be thankful I’m even bothering.” “And why is that?” I murmur, ripping the bandanna from my face. “Why not slit my throat?” I can hardly see her face, but I hear the suppressed rage in her voice. “Careful what you wish for.”

“I hate you,” she whispers. The reminder of her lack of feelings only spurs on my sudden stupidity. My sudden need to finish what we started, no matter how doomed it was from the beginning. Because here, nothing between us matters. With one of her wrists still grasped in my palm, ensuring the other knife won’t slice my skin as well, I lift my free hand toward her face. It’s slow, soft even, so as not to startle her. I hold my breath, heartbeat pounding in my ears. She seems to still, to melt under the feel of my fingers pulling the scarf from around her face. Her breath catches, her body tensing against mine.

“You promised to be my undoing,” I murmur, lowering my head close enough to hear her sharp intake of breath. “So, prove it.” Her face angles up toward mine, our noses brushing. She never lowers her dagger, and the point of her blade still draws blood from my throat. “Prove it,” I repeat, voice quiet. “Hate me enough to make me want you.” I cup her jaw, feeling her eyes burning into mine. “Ruin me.” Our mouths crash together.

AHHHHH

She spells out a promise, leaving it to linger on my lips. A vow to undo me. And she’s already begun. She kisses me hard, biting my lip to draw blood like the dagger she still presses against me.

Her fingers are buried in my hair while mine dig into her hips. I ignore how familiar she feels, ignore every one of my screaming senses. Because this is a stranger. We are nothing to each other. And that means anything is allowed.

That’s when she knees me in the groin. The crowd grunts right alongside me. “Classy as always,” I choke out, still clutching her tightly. “Oh, that was nothing, Prince,” she hisses through gritted teeth. “Now, get the hell out of my ring.” I laugh dryly, my face close to hers. “Oh, I’ll get the hell out of this Plague-forsaken city so long as you come with me. I’ll drag you back to Ilya if I must.” “Over my dead body, Prince.”

“You’re awfully confident for someone who’s also hiding their identity.” “Yes, well, there’s not a price on my head.” “You’re the prince of Ilya. There will always be a price on your head.” And with that, she rips the bandanna from my face.

my face: :O

“Should I drive this through your chest like you did my father? That seems only fitting, don’t you think?” He shakes his head at me, disbelief drenching his features. “Your father…? I didn’t—” His eyes widen slightly with something that resembles realization. “How many years? How many years ago was he killed?”

“Five,” I croak. “In my house.” My words are little more than a whisper. “I watched you kill him.” He shakes his head at me, horror slipping through the cracks of his mask, the crevices of his crumbling walls. “Paedyn, I—”

now we getting somewhere

What is she without her fire fueling her? A shell of the Silver Savior she once was? The ghost of a girl I was willing to ruin myself for? If she fights for nothing, she lives for death. But if she burns for something, she lives for hope. I want her to fight me. I want her to burn for me, even if it means with hatred.

“Yeah, you and everyone else in this kingdom, darling.” The innkeeper waves a hand, beckoning me to his counter. I give her a little push forward, resulting in a reluctant limp. “Just one room. We’ll take whatever you’ve got,” I say, offering a tight smile hidden behind the bandanna covering the bottom half of my face.

i swear ik what trope is coming up

“You really think you can handle me on your own?” I shrug. “I think I’m the only one who could handle you on their own.” “Still a cocky bastard, I see.” “I have a reputation to uphold.”

She shakes her head, looking away from me. “I didn’t go into that Trial planning to kill him when I came out of it. He came after me.” There’s something scarily similar to a plea in her eyes, not because she’s begging forgiveness for what she did, but because she needs me to understand why she did it.

She stares unseeingly at the blood coating her fingers, swallowing hard at the sight, shaking with each shallow breath. Something is very wrong with the Silver Savior. And I’m not supposed to care. I’ve seen trauma take on worse forms. Seen it cripple courage, devour dreams, and spit out the shell of a person. Trauma and I are well acquainted. “Come here.” The command is softer this time, sympathy seeming to smother the sternness in my voice.

“Why are you doing this?” she asks, voice hoarse. I don’t look up at her. “Well, I can’t have you bleeding out on me, now, can I? It’s selfish really. I don’t want to have to carry you all the way home.”

yeah right

When I finally deign to respond, it’s with the answer to a question she hadn’t asked. “I didn’t know.” Her gaze struggles to meet mine. “Didn’t know what?” “Your father. I didn’t know. Not then, and certainly not until now.”

With arms and legs stretched wide, she attempts to take up as much of the bed as possible. The sight is so unexpected that I nearly choke on a laugh. “What is—” “Sorry,” she says, her eyes closed and lips crooked. “There’s no more room on the bed.” “I can see that,” I respond dryly.

lol

Yet, I can’t help but think that in another life, another time, another chance to choose each other—I would be in that bed beside her.

that is so good

“You killed a father,” I practically growl, stepping close enough to see the storm brewing in his gray eyes. “I killed a monster.” His eyes flick between mine, simmering with something I can’t quite place. “Have you forgotten everything he did to you?” I whisper, pleading with him to remember the crimes of his childhood. “Everything he made you do? Not to mention what he did to this kingdom—” “Enough.” His voice cuts through my own, commanding and quiet. “That’s enough.”

ok then

You mean, how my father was brutally murdered? How I knelt beside his bloody body, staring at her dagger severing his neck? Is that what you meant to say, cousin?

dont nobody care

“You want to explain this to me?” I think about this for a moment. “No.” She scoffs. “Come on.” “You’re right. The window must be broken.” “Kitt.” “King.”

WHO IS HE FEELING LIKE???

I open my mouth again, ready to spit something else that will most definitely get his attention when a shove at my back has me stumbling, biting the tongue that was about to get me into trouble. “Bitch.”

BITCH?????? oh i got something for you

“You know, I haven’t even bothered to learn your name, Soldier. That is how little I value your life.” The Enforcer’s drawl has the Imperial stiffening behind me, straightening slightly when the prince takes his time strolling toward us. I stare at the broad chest looming before me, watching it rise rapidly despite the deceptively calm words falling from his lips. “So imagine,” he says casually, “what I would be more than happy to do to you if you ever lay another finger on her.”

YEAH PERIOD he upset rn but he not gonna let no nigga touch her