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September 20 - September 24, 2025
“Do you see that?” I ask, finally breaking the silence. “See what?” he sighs against my hair. “Whatever that is that’s shining up there.” When he doesn’t respond, I reach behind to grab his jaw, stubble biting into my fingers as I turn his face in the right direction. “Thanks for the help.” I feel his mumble against my hand. “It’s pretty high up. Which one of us is going to climb up there and—” I’m already swinging my leg over the saddle. “Thanks to you, both of us have to go, darling.” I draw out his favorite word, making him chuckle as I rattle the chain between us. “You and your fear of
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On ripple three, he slides his pinkie beneath mine. By seven, most of our fingers are woven together, tangled in the lush grass. It’s silly, really. No, actually, it’s bullshit. It’s complete and utter bullshit that he’s able to make me melt with nothing more than a mere touch. His hand should not have so much control over me. Tracing fingers should not be tugging on my heartstrings. But gentleness will be my undoing. There is an intimacy in being reached for. His thumb strokes mine. The feeling is comfort incarnate, tangible tranquility.
Pants hang low on my hips, exposing every inch of abdomen to him. When his eyes skim over me, I shiver despite the setting sun streaming through the trees. There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes it difficult to not want him to. His gaze is reverent, slow like an earnest prayer.
“I would be free without you.” I smile sadly. “I would be doing whatever the hell I want.” “Like fighting in cage matches and living in a crumbling building?” “Beats rotting in a cell,” I shoot back, my eyes on his. His fingers find my chin, wiping away the water dripping from my lips. “I won’t let that happen.” “Yeah,” I laugh humorlessly. “Make sure to kill me quickly, please. I’d rather just get it over with.”
“We are enemies with history. Enemies who hate each other.” I don’t bother to look at him, but I know he’s shaking his head. “You don’t hate me.” “Oh, I have every reason to.” “But that doesn’t mean you do.” I huff and push my palms against his chest. “Put me down.” He holds me tighter. “You know what I think?” “No, actually, I don’t give a damn what you—” “I think you hate that you can’t hate me.” My face is inches from his. “Oh, I can hate you just fine.” “Then hate that you feel something for me.” His hand skims my thigh while the other presses me firmly against him. “Hate me for making you
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He’s lifting my leg, guiding it until it’s wrapped around his hip. Another raindrop finds my nose when my gaze lifts to meet his, our faces close. My heart pounds in my chest, raging a war with my screaming mind.
But this is pretend. This is a secret for the souls. And that’s what I tell myself as I wrap my other leg around his hip, his hands tightening across my back. Holding me against him, he takes a few slow steps back until the water laps around our collarbones. And I let him. Because I trust him more than I care to admit. Rain begins sprinkling from the sky, creating a pattern of ripples around us. “This is just pretend?” I whisper, melting into his hold. “This is just us.” A hand slides up my back and over my hair. “No titles. No obligations. No history.”
“You going to kiss me, Gray, or just continue admiring what you see?” he murmurs, now running a thumb over my bottom lip. “Still contemplating drowning you, actually.” My voice is breathy, my own fingers wandering over the curve of his jaw. “Oh, darling, I already am.” His lips inch closer to mine, teasing me. “And I’m begging you to let me breathe you in.” I smile slyly. “I thought you never begged?” “I’m getting used to it when it comes to you.” And then his hand slips behind my neck to pull my lips toward his.
This kiss feels different. This kiss feels like making up for lost time. Like every moment our bodies pressed together while our lips kept their distance. Every moment tension twined around us, yet we broke away.
He takes his time doing exactly what he begged to do—breathe me in. A hand runs down my neck while the other explores the curve of my bare waist. He slows the kiss when my fingers curl into his hair before running over the length of his shoulders, feeling scars flecking his skin. There is a certain reverence in his kiss, a gentleness in the way he holds my face. I’ve never felt such delicate passion.
Rain is pelting us now, soaking my hair and dripping from my nose. He kisses me harder despite it all, as though remembering how he hadn’t the first time we were caught in the rain, outside the palace. I wrap my legs tighter around him, pulling him close enough to feel his heart hammering against his chest.
“You’re shaking,” he says, barely loud enough for me to hear over the storm. I swallow. “I’m cold.” His lips twitch at that. My fingers trace the swirling Ilya symbol tattooed on his chest. “Your heart is pounding.” “That tends to happen when you touch me, yes.”
His next words mirror the ones whispered after placing me atop his feet to dance beside the firelight. “Let me swim for the both of us.”
When I move to stand, he wraps an arm around my waist to pull me down beside him. I gasp before laughing as I roll my head toward him in the wet grass. Peace pulls at his features, softens his lips into a slight smile. He looks like relief. I doubt he’s ever felt so free.
“Do you know what this means?” A crazed smile tugs at my lips. “This is proof, Kai. This is proof that there is no disease detected by the Healers. And the king—” “The king has been bribing them to lie about it,” he finishes quietly. His
“I can’t let that be right because I’ve justified everything. Everything I’ve done as the Enforcer. It was all to protect the Elites and Ilya from this disease, but if Ordinaries aren’t weakening our powers…” He trails off, running a hand over his face. I reach a hesitant hand toward him, unsure what to say. “Kai…” “That would mean that he’s been killing Ordinaries to prevent them from reproducing with Elites. He’s been killing healthy, innocent people.” He finally looks over at me, gray eyes icy. “I’ve been killing healthy, innocent people.” “You didn’t know,” I murmur. “How could you have?
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She lost too much blood. I couldn’t stop it. I’m a damn Healer and I couldn’t even save her. I buried her in the backyard with our baby. She was right. It was a girl. My heart stops. Time slows. “I buried her in the backyard with our baby.”
what???
Yet when I opened the door, no one was there. That is, until I looked down. And there she was. A baby girl. Someone left her on my doorstep. She can’t be more than a few weeks old with a head full of silver hair and deep blue eyes. She’s beautiful. Alice would tear up at the sight of her. I’m going to be a father. This is what Alice would have wanted. She already had a name picked out anyway.
WHATTTTT HER DAD IS NOT HER DAD????
“Have I not suffered enough? I am already nothing, but now I belong to no one. The one thing in my life that was right and real and mine alone has been ripped away from me.” I take a shuddering breath, blinking blankly into the fire. “Just like everything else.” He’s shaking his head at me, reaching up a hand to push stray hair out of my face. “You
OMG BRB IM FALLING APART
Kai watches, running his eyes over me. He looks hesitant to interrupt my lack of thoughts. “Are you okay?” I rub my hands over my eyes, feeling tears tickle my fingers. Then I settle my blank stare on him. “I always find a way to be.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “I was awake beside you.” I feel her eyes on me as I take my time gathering our damp shirts. “You had just as much to think about, I’m sure.” She tilts her head, watching me closely. “I’ve always believed I wasn’t diseased; I just had no way to prove it. But you… This is all very new to you.”
“Don’t do that,” she huffs, pushing her arms through the sleeves and tugging the shirt down. “Do what, darling?” “That. The flirting.” Her eyes sweep over me accusingly. “The dimples.” I laugh before I’m able to stop myself. “You know, I can’t really help that.” “Help what?” She crosses her arms. “The flirting or the dimples?” “Yes,” I say simply.
“I’m no longer diseased. Ordinaries were never diseased, actually. So, you have no excuse to hate what I am anymore.” I blink at her. “I never said I hated what you are.” “Fine. Hated what I wasn’t.” I open my mouth, her name ready to fall from the tip of my tongue. But I stop myself, honoring her wish to not use it again. “Gray. When I look at you, I see a strength that no Elite possesses—and it called to me long before I ever discovered what you were or were not.”
“He came at me, remember?” She spins to face me. “And this kingdom is far better off without him. Maybe you’ll start believing that after all you’ve learned.”
“You’re not just a mission to me. You’re not just another enemy for me to find. You’re something even more terrifying.” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “And what is that?” “A need.” We stare at each other, both surprised by the words that pushed their way past my lips. Sunlight is streaming through her hair, making her glow like something far too heavenly for me. “I thought you had found your courage,” she says softly. I smile slightly. “Maybe I’m fine with being a fool. So long as it’s for you.”
Ignoring my own wound, I turn to his far more worrying one. Blood stains his skin, engulfing the shoulder underneath. The sight has me suddenly swallowing my rage, seeing a shade of red that has nothing to do with the blood running down his skin. He’s hurt. And I hate it. That realization might just anger me more. Because it is then that I understand just how terribly I will hurt anyone who dares hurt him.
My eyes drift back to his, finding something akin to awe on his face. My voice is even, my face cold. “I’ll be sure to make them pay.” I watch him take a heavy breath. “Can’t stand to see me wounded?” I take a step back, my eyes on his. “Only when it’s my doing.” The last thing I hear as I step from behind the rocks is a fervent “Be careful. For me.” And then I’m pulling an arrow from my pack, settling it onto the bow, blowing out a breath, and firing at the first figure I see.
“Hey.” I spin at the voice, raising my loaded bow into the face of another man. Kai. It’s Kai. I’m okay. I don’t have to hurt him. His fingers are warm beneath my chin as he guides my face to his. I blink slowly, taking in his crinkled brow and icy eyes. “You’re done, okay? You did it.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, more gently than I deserve. “I wish I could have done it for you. My soul is already stained enough for the both of us.”
“I like talking about your soul,” he grits out as I gingerly touch the skin around the gash. “And why is that?” I say distractedly. “Maybe,” he breathes, “I’m envious of it.” I swallow. “There is nothing about me to be envious of.” “Then you don’t know yourself well enough.” “What,” I huff, “and you do?” He’s suddenly struggling to his feet with a grunt. “You can deny it all you want, but we both know I do.”
He holds a bow in shaky hands, straining to keep it trained on Kai. And before I can blink, he fires. I don’t think before stepping in front of the prince I’m supposed to hate. Time seems to slow as the arrow flies toward me. Reflexes take control of my body, forcing me to raise my empty weapon.
oh yeah she loves that man
“Does being an ass come naturally too, or is that something they taught you in the palace?” His lips twitch as he considers my question. “Naturally. But I can’t take all the credit.” He looks me over. “You bring it out of me.”
“Sit,” I order sternly. He keeps his eyes on mine as he obeys, lowering himself to the ground. “What are you doing, Gray?” I crouch behind him, carefully lifting his bloody shirt to examine the wound. “What does it look like I’m doing, Azer?” “It looks like you’re caring about me,” he says with a smirk seeping into his voice. “And it feels like you’re undressing me.” I huff. “Don’t be too flattered. I can’t have you becoming a deadweight, now can I?”
“Tell me something,” I manage weakly. “Tell you something?” His laugh is pained. “Is this really the best time for—” “Yes,” I cut in. “It can be anything, just… just talk to me.” I squeeze my eyes shut, needing a distraction from the feel of his blood on my fingertips and the sight of it spilling over his skin. Something in the way he stills tells me he’s starting to understand. “All right.” His voice is strained. “The truth, then?” “The truth, always,” I murmur.
Because, despite it all, I’ve come to realize that there is little I wouldn’t sacrifice for him.
“Cut it off.” His brows crinkle at my words, “What?” “I want you to cut it off,” I say quietly. My face is blank despite the tears still clouding my vision. I run bloody hands over the length of my braid, staining it with each swipe.
YOUR HAIR????? girl no
Everything he does is intentional, a type of intimacy I’ve never felt before. Simply being so cared for has another tear rolling down my cheek before I can stop it.
When he’s kissed my thumb for the last time, I’m being pulled into his arms. My back is pressed against his bare chest, and he holds me tight despite his wound. A hand is running over my short hair, fingers brushing my neck. “Thank you,” I whisper, placing my hand on the arm wrapped around my waist. He leans his head against mine. “Are you feeling better?” I’m quiet, considering his question. “For the first time in a while, I feel like that’s a possibility.”
She turns to look fully at me, her expression blank. “You have a blister on the inside of your left foot.” Her eyes fall to the growing scruff on my jaw. “You don’t keep a beard because you hate the way it feels. And… you wore a ring back at the castle, but you took it off before you came to find me.” I shake my head at the ground, trying my best to hide my astonishment. “You got me, Gray. That all sounds about right.” I flex my hand like I have been ever since leaving the castle.
“Poppies,” I say, smiling when I see the look on her face. “I’ve never seen such a bright flower,” she blinks. “They’re orange and red and everywhere.” I can’t seem to tear my eyes from her. “So? What do you think?” She glances back at me, her smile worrisome. “I think you’re slowing me down.” With the words barely out of her mouth, she turns and bounds toward the field. I manage to start running before the chain has the chance to try to yank me off my feet. I watch her spread out her arms to embrace the wind as her boots find the edge of the field. I haven’t seen her this carefree since the
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“At least try to keep up!” she calls, poppies crowding her legs with each step. “I think you’re out of shape, Azer!” “Is that so?” I laugh, gaining on her. She realizes too late what is happening. A squeal slips from her lips when I cut in front of her, bending to catch her legs and throw the rest of her body over my uninjured shoulder. I bite my tongue at the sting that still shoots down my body, but the sound of her laugh is healing, capable of making a man forget his own name, let alone his pain.
I feel undeserving of her gaze, of the way her eyes roam over my face. I shake my head, still staring down at her. “Don’t look at me like that.” “Like what?” she asks softly. “Like I’m worthy of being seen.”
you are.
“Dance with me?” she whispers. My heart skips a beat at the timid question. I open my eyes to find hers fixed on my face, giving me that look I don’t deserve. “For however long you want, darling.” I help her to her feet before guiding her arms around my neck. My hands find her hips, holding tight as I lift her feet atop mine. She gasps in surprise before a smile splits her face, fingers curling in my hair. I sway with her body pressed against mine. My hands roam up her back, unused to the feel of it without her heavy curtain of hair. I tilt my head toward hers, taking in the mess of silver
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“Because I’ve always had a thing for short hair.” “Oh, really?” She laughs as I sway us in a circle. “It’s true. Among other things, of course.” I shrug a shoulder. “Short hair. Ocean-blue eyes. Twenty-eight freckles. And”—I pause, examining her with a tilt of my head—“how tall are you?” She blinks in confusion. “Umm, about five and a half feet?” “Five and a half feet,” I continue evenly. “The terrifying ability to kick a man’s ass. Stunning smile. Ridiculously stubborn. Hair like molten silver. Quick to threaten me with a dagger.” I smile down at her. “Should I go on?”
“Last night,” she says quietly. “Last night,” I echo. She nods, winding her arms tighter around my neck. “Then we might as well enjoy this while it lasts.” We sway in silence until she whispers, “Pretend, right?” I swallow, hating the sound of the lie that slides off my tongue. “Pretend.”
He opens his mouth, as if to free words he’s been trapping inside. But his eyes drift down the length of my neck, following the curve of my exposed shoulder. The oversized shirt and tank strap now hang loosely down my arm from lying ungracefully on my side. His eyes narrow, looking like chips of ice as a storm begins to brew within them. The heart beating beneath his gaze stutters at the realization of what he sees.
OH SHIT
“Gray.” His voice is cold. “What the hell was that?” I shake my head at him, hating the way I’m shrinking away. “It’s nothing.” “Then let me see,” he says, deceptively calm.
oh shit
“Why won’t you fight me?” My voice cracks, tears suddenly crowding my vision. “Because the next time I lay a hand on you, I only ever want it to be in a caress,” he says softly.
“How did he do it?” I attempt to swallow the lump in my throat. “A sword.” He sighs through his nose. “After he dragged the blade down my neck,” I continue, lifting my chin so he can see the familiar scar in the pale light, “he told me he’d leave his mark on my heart, so I never forget who it was that broke it.” He inches closer, eyes trained on the mangled skin beginning to scar. His voice is icy, sending a shiver down my spine. “It’s an O.” I nod. “For—” “Ordinary,” he finishes, disgusted. “He tortured you, and you didn’t think to tell me?”
“Would it have made a difference?” I say, throwing my hands in the air. “That doesn’t make me any less of a criminal.” “It would have made you less of a murderer,” he says harshly. “Why did you hide this from me?” “Because…,” I stammer. “Because I can barely stand to look at myself! Don’t you understand?” Tears sting my eyes, but I push on. “He ruined me. Marred me. For the rest of my life, I will look at this scar and think of the man I hated most. The man who had my father killed. The man who mercilessly killed Ordinaries like me. The man who tried to murder me himself.” I shake my head,
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shit this is hurting ME
“Say my name,” I whisper. “Please.”
