The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)

by Nora Sakavic

At eighteen years old, he'd seen more people die than he could comfortably count. Death was unpleasant, but it was a familiar and tolerable ache in his chest. Seth Gordon's unexpected overdose Saturday night should have meant something more to Neil since they'd been teammates and roommates for three months, but Neil felt nothing. Keeping himself alive was hard enough most days; he had no time to linger over others' misfortunes.

Wymack didn't care if he had nine Foxes or twenty-five. He'd stand behind them until the bitter, bloody end.

Seth had been a lot of things, most of them unpleasant, but he'd definitely been a fighter. Now he was gone.

"Knock it off. You can't leave." There was a heartbeat of silence, and then Andrew turned around with a wide, wicked smile on his lips. "I can't, Kevin? I'll show you what I can't do. Try and put me on your court today and I'll take myself off it permanently. Fuck your practice, your line-up, and your stupid fucking game." "That's enough. We don't have time for your tantrums." Andrew twisted and punched the wall hard enough to split the skin along his knuckles. Kevin took a quick step forward, hand out like he could stop Andrew from landing a second blow, but Wymack was closer. He caught Andrew's arm and hauled him away from the wall. Andrew didn't look away from Kevin to acknowledge the interference. Only when Kevin finally stepped back did Andrew try to pull free of Wymack's grip. "Cough, cough, Coach," Andrew said. "I'm leaving now."

"Don't thank us, remember us," Dan said. "We're your teammates. We're here to help you with whatever you need, whether it's this or games or general stress. We've all got different experiences, but we're used to needing help. We're just not used to getting it. But you've got us now."

"Coach, this line-up is insane." "Yup. Good luck." Wymack clapped his hands at them to drown out any other arguments.

"Careful, Kevin. Your jealous streak is showing." "For eight months you've told me no. In eight seconds you told him yes. Why?" "Oh, that's easy." Andrew stuffed the last of his gear into his bag and zipped it shut. He slung the bag over his shoulders and got to his feet, standing up so close to Kevin he almost knocked Kevin back a step. "It's just more fun to tell you no. That's what you wanted, right? You wanted me to have fun. I am. Aren't you?"

give me everything you have. If I think you're holding back just because you're tired I will throw you off the court myself. I want you dead on your feet when the final buzzer sounds."

"Destroy him," he said. Neil felt like he'd been waiting for this all his life. "Yeah."

As he listened to them, Neil realized he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he

lost track of the conversation for a minute. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this included or safe. It was nice but dangerous.

"The other teams want to get a look at you." "I don't care," Neil said. "The only place they matter to me is on the court." "Don't lose face, Neil."

"Dan asked me to get a list from Katelyn," Aaron said. "Who are these people?" Neil asked. "They're the single Vixens." "They're all women," Nicky said. "That doesn't help us." "Nicky," Neil started. Nicky plucked the list from Neil's fingers and crumpled it. "Your ignorance is endearing, Neil. You're nineteen and you've never looked at Allison's tits? There's no way you're straight. You and I really need to sit down and talk about this sometime."

"Touch it again and I'll bite you. Don't think I won't. I will. I'm a biter. Just ask Erik." "Stop embarrassing us." Kevin pushed them apart. "Find a different register, Nicky." "I can buy my own things," Neil said when Nicky pranced off.

He uncurled his fingers and stared at the gray phone resting in his palm. He didn't think a small thing like this should hurt so much, but the grief that punched through him left him in pieces. The roaring in his ears sounded like the ocean. For a moment he was back there on the beach watching fire eat through the car. He remembered how it smelled, the salt of the water and the sick stench of burning flesh. He could still feel the sand on his fingers, warm up top where the sun shone and cold deep down where he'd left his mother's bones.

He'd never seen a point; Neil had no one in the world he could call. "Neil."

"Hey, Neil. Honesty looks awful on you."

"Neither are you. You put a noose around your neck and handed the loose end to Riko," Andrew said. "I distinctly remember saying I would watch your back. Give me one good reason why you'd make that difficult for me." "I survived for eight years because no one could find me," Neil said. "That's not why." "Are we doing the honesty thing again?" "Do we need to?" Andrew asked, taking his phone from Neil. "You start."

"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive. "I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand."

Your pet is and always will be dead weight. It's time to—"

"What?" Andrew turned a wide-eyed look on Kevin. "You have a pet and you never told us? Where do you keep it, Kevin?" Jean flicked him an annoyed look. "Don't interrupt me, Doe." The sound Nicky made at Neil's side was sharp and offended, but Andrew smiled in the face of Jean's strange insult. "Oh, points for trying, but save your breath. Here's a tip for you, okay? You can't cut down someone who's already in the gutter. You just waste your time and mine."

"What a coward," Riko said with exaggerated disappointment. "Just like his mother." Neil stopped counting. "You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

"I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone."

Jean turned on Kevin and spoke in quick, furious French. "What the hell is this?" "His antagonism is a personality flaw we're learning to live with," Kevin said. "Live with," Jean echoed, like the very idea offended him. "No! You should have dealt with him two weeks ago when he first stepped out of line. We trusted you to discipline him. Why doesn't he know his place yet?" "Neil has no place in Riko's games," Kevin said. "He is a Fox." "He is not a Fox!" "Funny," Neil said in French. Jean wasn't expecting him to understand them and shot Neil a startled look. "I'm pretty sure the contract I signed said Palmetto State University." "A contract does not change facts," Jean said. "Did you forget who bought you?" "Bought me," Neil repeated. "Nobody bought me."

"Jean, what are you talking about?" Jean looked like he swallowed a stone. "You don't know." It was supposed to be an accusation, but it fell flat. Jean shot an incredulous look between them. "How can you not know? Why else would you have recruited him, Kevin?" "He has potential," Kevin said. Jean's laughter sounded more than a little hysterical. "God save you both, you useless fools. No one else can. How either of you have lived this long when you're so miserably stupid is beyond my capacity to understand."

"Riko will have a few minutes of your time later," Jean said. "I suggest you speak with him if you do not want everyone to know you are the Butcher's son."

Hearing his father's name aloud was a kick in the chest. The noise Kevin made at his side was worse. Neil reacted without thinking, clapping a hand to Kevin's chest and shoving him as far back from the table as he could. Kevin stumbled back so fast he almost fell. Neil didn't look back at him, but he couldn't tune out Kevin's hoarse denial. "That's not true." "Shut up," Neil said, but he didn't know which one of them he was speaking to. "Don't say anything else." "Run along," Jean said. "It's what you're best at, isn't it?"

He watched Kevin, waiting for recognition to sink in. On its heels was sick fear. Neil clenched his hands together under the table where no one could see his fingers shake.

"No, Kevin. Not here. You and I will talk tomorrow."

Kevin hesitated. "Does Andrew know?" "He knows only pieces of it," Neil said. "He doesn't know my name." "Does he know who you are?" "I said no." Neil wrenched Kevin's hand off his face. "We're not doing this here."

"Nothing your father owned was his!"

"You were not running from your father, Nathaniel. You were running from his master."

"He didn't have one."

Neil ignored him and insisted, "He didn't have one."

"Riko's my age," Neil said, trying not to choke on his words. "If you knew what my parents were capable of you'd understand why I don't trust men who are old enough to be my father. I know here," Neil gestured at his temple, "that you're not going to hurt me, but it's instinctive to react. I'm sorry."

"I don't want to run. I don't want to be a Raven. I don't want to be Nathaniel. I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. I want to play with you this year and I want us to make it to championships. And in spring when the Moriyamas come for me I'll do what they're so afraid I will. I'll go to the FBI and tell them everything. Let them kill me. It'll be too late by then."

For the first time in Neil's life, he wasn't thinking about the future. He stopped counting days until the Ravens' match and scaled back on how much news he watched and read.

When Matt talked about summer breaks spent drag racing in the mountains Neil remembered the sound his mother's corpse made when he tried peeling it off a vinyl seat.

She took Aaron and left. They didn't make it home. She went over the median into oncoming traffic and wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"It's your turn. Why don't you like girls?" "I don't not like them," Neil said, but Nicky only snorted in disbelief. Neil thought of his mother's heavy fists on his skin and her fingers knotting in his hair. She'd told him time and time again girls were dangerous. They got inside a man's head, she said. They got under a man's skin. They could make a man want to change the world starting with himself. They'd turn him inside out and pull out all his secrets. They might mean well but it'd get all of them killed in the end. "It's complicated," Neil said at last. "Let me work now."

Andrew, though, nodded in the face of it and told Neil to stay. He stood his ground when Neil asked him for murder and gave him a key to their house. But that didn't count, because Andrew was Andrew, and this was definitely the last turn he needed his thoughts to take.

Andrew, for once in your miserable midgety life play like you want us to win, would you?"

The latter was self-directed; Neil wasn't anywhere near good enough to make that sacrifice worth it and he hated feeling incompetent.

Kevin had eyes only for Andrew as he crouched in front of the downed goalkeeper. "So," Kevin said, "did you have fun?" Andrew was too tired to put any heat in his words. "You are despicable, Kevin Day. I don't know why I keep you around."

It was a milk carton with a cutout for the wearer's face and a bold "Have you seen me?" printed beneath it.

"Oh, that's perfect, Neil,"

"Nicky! Look! A cow. I think you should be this." "Cow tits," Nicky said, pointing at the rubber udder in disgust. "At least let me be a bull, as in hung like a. Or Matt. Same difference, right? Dan is so luck...

"You are absolutely impossible to put up with sometimes. I might ban you from shopping with us ever again." "I tried banning myself last time," Neil said. "It obviously didn't work."

"I've never been in a position where I could get to know people. I know I have to let them in if we're going to make it through the season, but it'd be easier if they were just names and faces. How have you stayed so disconnected for so long?"

"Kevin is. So is your brother, apparently." Neil wasn't surprised when Andrew didn't acknowledge either accusation. He pressed on. "What about Renee?" "What about her?" "She's not interesting?" "She's useful." "That's it?" "You expected a different answer?" "Maybe,"