The Raven King (All for the Game, #2)

by Nora Sakavic

"I only see that look on Neil's face when someone tries to do something nice for him, but we all know Kevin's as bratty as they come. What did you say, Kevin, and do I need to defend Neil's honor or what?"

"I can give you my number," Marissa said. Neil didn't remember asking for it at any point that night. "What for?"

Kevin dragged his blank stare to Wymack, and Wymack gestured between Neil and Matt. "You see these two? If I look your way tonight and you're not within five feet of at least one of them, I won't let you play a single damn game this spring. Get me? They're your shields. Use them. Use me, if you have to. Now give me a 'yes, Coach'." "Mm," Kevin managed.

He slid one contact out of the way for a moment, needing to see the chilly blue of his real eyes, and took strength in that.

He'd told Andrew he would stand with Kevin no matter what. He didn't intend to break that promise. "Neil" might be an easily-spooked runaway, and "Nathaniel" was a hunted young man, but "Abram" was the one shielded from and untouched by his father's bloody business. Neil would pull on every murder he'd seen and every endless, desperate night, and he'd face Riko unflinching. It was the least he could do. It was all he could do.

"How the hell did two of you beat Breckenridge?" "It wasn't just two of us," Neil said.

Neil held up his free hand and showed Riko his steady fingers. "I'm shaking with fear."

Every time Neil blinked he saw the white scars on Kevin's hands. It was all he could do to breathe around the panic beating at his lungs.

"I am not a dog. I'm a Fox." "You are nothing but what I tell you to be." "We talked about your delusions." "I warned you to learn your place." "Let go of me, King."

"I am King," Riko agreed, "and you are going to spend Christmas at my castle. You're coming to Evermore for winter break. Don't," Riko said when Neil opened his mouth to argue, "push me again. I am the only thing keeping you alive."

Somehow he made it close enough again to grab Riko's sleeve. "You even fucking think about touching him—"

"Neil hit Riko," Matt said. "It was beautiful."

It was

"You're not going," Kevin said.

"Do you know what he'll do to Andrew if I don't go?" Neil said. "I don't have a choice. I have to go. You have to trust me." "He will break you." "He wishes he knew how," Neil said. "Trust me. I promise I'll come back, and when I do I'll bring Andrew back with me. It's going to be fine. So do you have my ticket or don't you?"

"Everything okay there?" Nicky asked. "I'm fine." Nicky just looked at him. "We've known each other forever by now. At some point you're going to have to stop lying to my face. That didn't sound fine and you don't look fine. So what's really going on?"

Neil showered and dug his duffel bag out of the bottom drawer of his dresser. He had it half-packed when he realized the bag was too small. For eight years he'd never owned more than what could fit in a carry-on. In the past half-year here his possessions had doubled in number. Even when his bag was full there were things in his drawers. Neil was at once confused and heartened, and he pressed a hand to his folded shirts. It was proof he was coming back, something he hadn't had since he was a child.

"Can I give you something to take with you?" Neil asked. "Will you promise to keep it safe? I don't want to leave it here, but I can't bring it with me." When Kevin nodded, Neil unlocked his safe and pulled his binder out. It took everything he had in him to hand it to Kevin. Even when Kevin took hold of it, Neil held fast to one end. "Don't open it."

"Neil," Kevin said when Neil got to his feet. "I'm coming back," Neil said, more for his sake than Kevin's. "You promised you'd finish this year with me. I'm holding you to that."

Matt grabbed his keys and they left. They stopped by the girls' room first, where Neil was subjected to holiday hugs and well-wishes. Aaron settled for a nod when they checked in with the cousins next, but Nicky gave Neil a bone-popping squeeze.

Neil was alone.

He'd been around the Foxes for so long he'd forgotten what it was like to have breathing space. He should have been grateful to have a couple moments by himself before this nightmare started, but Neil was left feeling out of sorts. He buried his hand in his pocket and wrapped his fingers around his phone. If he flipped it open, his call history would still only show one name, but his message box was so full it emptied itself out on a semi-regular basis. He thought about reading through them for courage, but he couldn't make himself do it.

But Neil Josten was a Fox. Andrew called this home; Nicky called him family. Neil wasn't going to lose any of it. If two weeks with Riko was the price to keep his team safe, Neil would pay it.

*sobs*

Jean was waiting for him in Arrivals. He watched Neil's approach with a cool look on his face, and there was an edge in his voice when he said, "You shouldn't have come here."

"This isn't a team," Neil said. "It's a cult."

"Take a look at the sky. You won't see it again until you leave." "I've seen it," Neil said.

"Welcome to the Nest," Jean said. "Cult," Neil said again.

Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.

NOT THE POSTCARDS

Jean brought Neil into the changing room and opened an oversized locker on the end. Neil obediently looked inside. The locker was packed with Raven gear. It wasn't until Jean shoved the jersey at him that Neil understood, because the name emblazoned on the back was JOSTEN.

"Try not to get us both killed on your first day, you ignorant child."

"You lost the right to be an individual when you stepped into the Nest. The consequences of your actions are no longer yours alone to bear. Ravens operate on a pair-based system, which means from now until you leave I am the only ally you have. "My success is your success," Jean said. "Your failure is my failure. You are to go nowhere unless I am with you. If you break this rule we will bother suffer greatly for it. Do you understand? They want us to fail. They want to take starting line-up from me. I will not let you jeopardize my rank."

In the beginning Neil hated it, because he figured strikers were glory-hounds who sought the spotlight. As Neil got more comfortable with the position, though, he fell in love.

"I am a Moreau," Jean said, as if Neil was being stupid on purpose. "My family has belonged to the Moriyamas since before they came to the United States. There is nowhere else for me to go, just as there is no place for you but here. Kevin is not like us; he is valuable but he is not property in the same sense. He escaped because he had family to run to."

"I said family, you hard-of-hearing imbecile," Jean said. "His father. Your coach." It took a moment to sink in. When it clicked Neil recoiled from Jean in shock. "What?"

"Figures he's still too much of a coward to say anything about it." Jean gave a derisive flick of his hand. "If you don't believe me, look for yourself. The last time I saw his mother's letter it was tucked inside one of those boring books of his. He's read it so many times he might have worn the words off the pages by now, but it is worth a shot."

"We found out only a few years ago," Jean said. "We found the letter in the master's house purely by accident. Kevin stole it, but he never intended to act on the discovery. He knew going meant losing all of this. It wasn't worth it." Jean gestured around at the locker room. "Once he lost this, of course, there was no reason to stay."

"You are all insane," Neil said. "Says the runaway who joined a Class I team," Jean said. "Says the man who came here today when he should have run. You are no better than the rest of us. Now are you going to try on your gear or am I going to have to force it on you?"

The number beneath it wasn't his. "I can't even keep my ten?" Neil asked. "Unimportant Ravens wear double-digits," Jean said. "Riko's inner circle does not. This number suits you better. Did you know? In Japanese, 'four' and 'death' sound the same. It is appropriate that the Butcher's son should wear this number."

Tetsuji crossed the room to stand before him. "Nathaniel Wesninski," he said, like he found every syllable wanting. "Kneel." Neil hid his hands in his pockets so he could clench them into fists. "No."

"You will kneel," Tetsuji said. Neil had a feeling he was going to regret this for the rest of his very short life, but he smiled and said, "Make me."

Every time Neil fell, though, Jean was there to pull him off the ground. Jean had nothing to say to Neil about his poor performance, neither encouragement nor harsh words. Maybe he didn't have the breath for it anymore. They were in this together, just like Jean warned Neil. Every time the other team scored they were both punished.

"You should have run," Jean said, too exhausted and sore to be hateful anymore.

He went to his bed like he didn't care he was trapped in here with them and sat on the edge of the mattress. He looked at the books and thought of Kayleigh's letter, thought of Jean and Kevin putting up with this day after day, year after year.

"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin." "You are one seriously fucked-up individual," Neil said.

"Who is your King, Nathaniel?" Riko asked. Neil spat in his face.

He'd spent so much time with Jean he'd forgotten any other language existed. Jean was technically forbidden to use French, since Riko couldn't understand it, but he'd whispered it to Neil when Riko wasn't close enough to hear. Jean would mock him for his current confusion, except Jean wasn't here. Neil looked at the seat beside his and saw only his duffel. Jean was nowhere in sight.

MY MISPLACED FOREVER PARTNERS

Wymack answered on the fourth ring. "You have a good reason to be bothering me on a holiday?" "I didn't know who else to call," Neil said. He barely recognized his own voice. The last time he'd spoken he'd been screaming; apparently his vocal cords still hadn't recovered. Neil pressed his forehead to the wall and tried to breathe. He couldn't remember when breathing wasn't a chore.

"Neil?" All the gruff posturing left Wymack's voice; that sharp edge was all alarm. "Are you all right?" Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. "No. No, I'm not. I know it's kind of sudden, but can you come get me? I'm at the airport."

He said no😭

When he opened them again, he was flat on his back on Wymack's couch. Wymack had dragged his desk chair into the living room to keep watch over him.

"I'm sorry." "He sounds like Neil," Wymack said, "but he doesn't look like him. I'll take your explanation from the top and without a side order of bullshit, thanks."

"No," he said, but it was too late to change things. Wymack got up when Neil stumbled for the door, but he didn't try to stop him. Neil threw the bathroom door open and cut the light on. The face waiting for him on the mirror was horrible enough to take his legs out from under him. Neil scrabbled at the sink as he crumpled to his knees but wasn't strong enough to hold himself up.