More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court."
"Will you still teach me?" Neil asked. Kevin was quiet again, but not for long this time. "Every night."
"Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition," Kevin said. "I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around." "He agreed to this?" Neil asked. "But he's fighting you every step of the way. Why?" "When I first said you would be Court, why were you upset with me?" "Because I knew it'd never happen," Neil said, "but I wanted it anyway." Kevin said nothing. Neil waited, then realized he'd answered his own question.
Aw neil and andrew my bbys
"Andrew is crazy, not stupid," Kevin said. "Even he will grow bored of being a failure eventually. When his medicine is out of his system and he can actually think for himself again I will have an easier time getting through to him." Neil doubted it, but he said, "Good luck."
It surprised him that he meant it. Andrew was hell to deal with most of the time but he really was doing his damnedest to keep both Neil and Kevin at Palmetto State. The least they could give him in return was something of his own. Neil couldn't deny a little bit of bitterness that Andrew would have the future Neil couldn't, but he'd come to terms with that eventually.
Neil started for the door, but Kevin put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Neil." There was a world of regret in that name, but it was a promise, too. Neil pulled himself back together piece by broken piece and followed Kevin off the Foxhole Court.
"We had to face our teammates as a united force," Renee said, motioning from herself to Dan and Allison. "It was the only way to survive. Our friendship was a show that started and stopped at our bedroom door. It took most of the year for us to realize it wasn't an act anymore."
That was how Neil found out Dan didn't want to go professional after college. She wanted to be a coach, and she planned on seizing the Foxhole Court when Wymack retired down the road. She would maintain Wymack's recruiting standards in his absence. Matt was wholeheartedly in favor of the idea.
They knew he hated vegetables but loved fruit, that his favorite color was gray, and that he didn't like movies or loud music. They were things Neil understood only in terms of survival, but his teammates hoarded these insights like gold.
"Andrew's not really big on the idea of Aaron's happiness, see? So if Aaron likes Katelyn, Andrew doesn't want him to have her. Andrew might smile awful bright but he is a master of childish spite."
"Aunt Tilda died, and Aaron blames Andrew."
"It's not like Aaron liked her, but she was his mother, you know? And Aaron never got to fix things with her, never got to understand why she was so messed up or why she messed them up so bad. Aaron can't accept that she's gone. He misses her. He can't forgive Andrew, and Andrew doesn't understand or care about how much it hurt Aaron. Stalemate."
"Andrew came home for Aaron, right? It wouldn't have taken him long to realize Aaron was a wreck. Andrew would have traced Aaron's problems back to their mother. Maybe he didn't kill her for giving him up. Maybe he did it to protect Aaron."
"She was hurting Aaron, so Andrew stopped her," Neil said. "Aaron should have been grateful, but he mourned her like he didn't care what she'd done to them. He took sides." "You really think so?" "It makes sense to me," Neil said. It might even explain why Andrew hated Katelyn, though Neil wasn't sure which interpretation to go with: that Andrew wouldn't let another girl come between them, or that he was still punishing Aaron for choosing the wrong side three years ago.
Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women."
Preach!
"For some reason I tried coming out to them anyway," Nicky said. "Mom was pretty upset. She locked herself in the bedroom and cried and prayed for days. Dad took a more direct route and shipped me off to Christian gay camp. I spent a year learning that I was infected by a disgusting idea from the devil, that I was a living test for every other good Christian on the planet. They tried using God to shame me into being straight.
"He taught me to believe in myself. He showed me how to balance my faith and my sexuality, and he made me okay again. I know it sounds dramatic, but he saved my life."
Neil and Kevin went to the inner court and sat on the Foxes' bench in silence.
"Can you do this, Kevin?" Abby asked, searching his face for any sign he was okay. "Can you play?" "If I am breathing, I can play," Kevin said. "This is my game too." "Words to live and die by."
Andrew, for once in your miserable midgety life play like you want us to win, would you?"
Kevin was up against Jean. Jean was the Ravens' strongest backliner, but Neil was more worried about the psychological toll he might take on Kevin.
They were only two minutes into the first half; it was the fastest anyone had ever scored against Andrew.
Andrew cleared it all the way up the court to his strikers with a hard swing. Neil only needed a second to realize Andrew was sending it to him, and his heart beat with savage triumph.
He spared one second to look for Kevin and one more to calculate his throw. On his tenth step he fired the ball at the away goal wall. All those long nights learning Raven drills from Kevin had to pay off here. The perfect rebound wasn't just about getting the ball to the right racquet; it was getting there at the right angle so Kevin wouldn't have to aim. Kevin just had to bring his racquet back on the catch and fire straightaway. It was the same trick the Raven strikers had been pulling all night, but the Ravens weren't ready to see it from Kevin and Neil. Jean and the goalkeeper thought
...more
He and Kevin met on their way back to half-court and clacked their sticks together almost hard enough to hurt. Kevin's smile was fleeting but fierce. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. It was the first sign of approval Neil had gotten from him since they'd met and Neil felt it like an adrenaline boost.
The game ended at thirteen-six: the most goals anyone had ever taken from Andrew and the worst point gap the Foxes had seen in three years.
The roar outside the court escalated to feverish screams high-pitched enough to break through Neil's exhaustion. He looked up, wondering what he'd missed, and stared across the court. Andrew's hands hovered empty in front of him, and his racquet was on the ground at his feet. As Neil watched Andrew leaned over to pick his racquet up. He tried, anyway. He only got it a foot off the floor before he lost his grip again.
"So," Kevin said, "did you have fun?" Andrew was too tired to put any heat in his words. "You are despicable, Kevin Day. I don't know why I keep you around."
"I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."
Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them. "Thank you for the game tonight," he said. "We will see you again at semifinals. It will be an interesting rematch, I promise."
"When I told you this June you'd be facing Edgar Allan on your court you said there was no way you could do it. But you faced them tonight and you didn't let them push you around. You took six points from the first-ranked team in the nation. You should be pretty fucking proud of yourselves right now."
"I'm proud," Allison said, earning a startled look from Nicky and a half-smile from Wymack. She turned a condescending sneer on Aaron, looking more like herself than she had since Seth died. "This is only your second season with us. I wouldn't expect you to understand what a game like this means."
They were exhausted, sore, and more than a little disappointed by their loss, but the Foxes left the stadium feeling like champions.
"Oh, that's perfect, Neil," Andrew said. Neil sent him a dirty look. Andrew laughed and held up a mottled costume. "Nicky! Look! A cow. I think you should be this."
"I'm not asking you to be their friend," Neil said. "I'm asking you to give an inch." "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile," Aaron said.
That got Andrew's attention. "Kids? Kids, plural. You only mentioned one last time, Pig. How many are you talking about? How many has she had?" "You wouldn't care about the number unless there really was something there for me to find," Higgins said, quiet and accusing. "Just yes or no, Andrew. That's all I want. That's all I need right now. I'll give you a name, you give me an answer, and I promise I'll go away."
"Drake," Higgins said.
"I'm not in trouble, oh captain my captain.
andrew dead poets society fan confirmed 🤔
Andrew hadn't given away any of Neil's secrets, so Neil wouldn't give up his.
"How the hell did you talk Andrew into this?" Dan asked, staring at Neil. "I asked," Neil said.
don't know if they've talked to you about Aaron's history, but you understand Andrew's, don't you? He's not allowed to fight his addiction. Watching Matt struggle was very hard on them both."
Watching Matt crumble under temptation would have wrecked hell on Aaron's own sobriety. Neil was starting to rethink how apathetic Andrew was about Aaron's life.
I'm clean for good and I feel better than ever."
Good for you Matt!!
"Don't make me hurt you," Andrew said. "I don't want blood in my ice cream."
He nudged Kevin with his knee and asked in quiet French, "Why do you have his drugs?" "I hold onto them when he's adjusting his schedule," Kevin answered. "Game nights or nights like tonight when he wants to go into withdrawal, it's better if someone else keeps the bottle. If he has his pills he'll take them. He won't be able to help himself."
"Just Bee!" Andrew said. "Bee being stupid. Bee being, ha. Look."
"She with Coach?" Dan asked. "Coach and Abby invited her over," Andrew said without looking up. "Why is she messaging you?" Neil asked. "Oh, she does that sometimes."
"All grown up and making friends?" he asked. "Never thought I'd see the day." "I'll tip you double if you never say such stupid things again."
He had to trust that they were all there, safe and having fun. He was content to watch and imagine. Lonely, too, but there was nothing he could do about that.
"Andrew found out he and I have a lot in common."
