Powerless (The Powerless Trilogy, #1)

by Lauren Roberts

“You… you are—” She’s sputtering again, so I kindly finish for her. “Intelligent? Irresistible?” “Calculating, cocky, and a completely arrogant bastard,” she pants. “That is what I was going to say.” A smile tugs at my lips. “Good to see you’re feeling well enough to insult me.”

lol

Her grip on my arm only tightens as I keep pushing the needle through her skin, slowly making my way to the end of the gash. Her eyes are squeezed shut against the pain, refusing to cry or even cry out. So stubborn. So strong. “Just a little more, Pae,” I breathe. She shudders and I don’t miss the movement.

the pain or because I finally said her name, I’m not sure. I’m reminded of when she hit the ground. When I was feral, frantic, and I was suddenly aware that I hadn’t said her name to her since we met.

And in that moment, I realized that I’d wanted to say it—wanted her to hear it from my lips. Realized that if she died, I would never again get to look into those blue eyes and utter those two syllables that have been a constant in my mind. So I said her name, again and again. I finally let myself do it. Let that last piece of attachment to her lock into place. Just saying her name felt intimate, personal, somehow. And now I forever want her name on my lips and rolling off my tongue until I’m drunk on the taste and sound of it.

oh i love it here

I can only imagine what Father will make of this—of us. Of me helping, saving, enjoying being with the girl from the slums. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve disappointed him, and it certainly won’t be the last.

“You never did answer my question,” I say, far more casually than I currently feel. “You’ll have to be more specific than that, Azer.” “I asked who the hell did this to you.” She laughs dismissively, turning her head from mine. “Oh, that question. It doesn’t matter.” “If it doesn’t matter, then tell me.” She shoots me an annoyed look before she sighs, giving in. “Ace. Happy now? He used his illusions to draw me in.” She’s suddenly pale again. “He made me see… things.” I’ve never seen her look so haunted, and I’m shocked by how much I hate it. “Did you kill him?” “No,” she says softly. “No, I didn’t kill him.” We fall silent, and I run my hand over her crude bandage, making sure it’s secure as she stares at me.

Then I catch her shiver slightly in the brisk, night breeze. Well that just won’t do. I kneel beside her, scooping her into my arms before pulling her off the ground and carrying her closer to the fire. She grunts groggily against my chest before I lay her down on the packed dirt, watching her chest rise and fall with steady breaths, so unlike the ragged, shallow ones she choked on earlier. And then I sit there. I can’t seem to tear my eyes away as she drifts to sleep beside the fire, alive and breathing deeply.

If I am to be her enemy, I want it to be because she loathes herself for wanting me.

“Good morning. Well, it’s almost afternoon, actually.” My head whips toward the deep voice coming from behind. And there he is, hands in pockets, ankles crossed, and leaning against a low-hanging branch. Now that I’m not a breath away from death, his appearance and lack of shirt is suddenly extremely distracting. I avert my gaze quickly, though I don’t miss the smirk sliding to his lips when he catches me staring.

hi kai :)

“Eager to be rid of me, darling?”

no never

“So, what’s the plan?” I ask, gesturing between the two of us. “The plan for…?” He tilts his head slightly to the side, peering at me, playing with me. He knows exactly what I mean. “For us.” “Us. I like the sound of that, don’t you?” I roll my eyes, ignoring him. “What do we do now?” “That is a very loaded question, Gray.” I blink. He didn’t say my first name. And for some maddening reason, I wish he had.

love the sound of that

I glance from his injured shoulder to the tall stump behind him before placing my palms on his chest, his skin hot beneath mine. I push him back until his legs collide with the stump before pushing his shoulders down until he’s sitting before me. Mischief dances in those smoky eyes of his as he looks up at me. “What are you doing, Gray?”

“Where is the healing salve?” His expression is blank. “Gone.” I try to blink away my confusion, to no avail. “You used all of it on me?” “Without hesitation.” Cool, calm, collected. That’s Kai.

love him down

“You are full of all sorts of surprises.” He nods at the green goop now on my fingers. “Talented little thing, aren’t you?”

totally

My hands hover above his chest. “You… endured it?” He studies me for a moment, seeming to decide what he wants to say before settling with a simple, “Yes. Often.” “Who,” I swallow, “who did that to you?” “It doesn’t matter,” he says with a slight smile, spitting my own words back at me from last night. So I do the same to him. “If it doesn’t matter, then tell me.” His smile widens. “Good to hear that you listen to me when I speak, Gray.” “That wasn’t an answer,” I say softly.

“My… the king took it upon himself to train me regularly. I had other tutors and generals of course, but when I wasn’t with them, I was with my father. Let’s just say that his methods were… severe.”

oh yeah she rlly gonna waant him dead now

His faint smile fades, leaving a set jaw in its place. “The truth then?” “The truth always,” I breathe.

“And remind me to take a page out of your book and ditch the next ball to go get drunk with Kitt.” I could have sworn he stiffened slightly at my words. “And why would you do that when I’m so much more fun?” I laugh lightly. “If by ‘fun’ do you mean flirty? Because you certainly are more of that.” He flashes me a wicked, wide grin and my heart trips over itself stupidly. “I can’t seem to help it when I’m with certain company.”

His eyes search mine. “What, wanting me all to yourself—”

yes

I snort loudly, and that’s all it takes to get Kai laughing with me—well, at me. The sound is rich and deep, and irritatingly enough, I find myself quieting so I can hear it better. And then, all too quickly, the sound stops. He’s looking at me, and I’m looking at him. I don’t know what to say or think or do as his eyes trail over my face, taking in my dirty and disheveled appearance.

“Yeah, well.” I look away, about to say something that will likely piss the prince off, when he holds up a hand, quieting me. “Don’t. Move.” I scoff. “What, is there another mosquito on my—” His hand clamps over my mouth before he whirls me around by the waist, pinning me against his solid frame. I’m stunned for a heartbeat before I contemplate biting the fingers covering my lips. But something about the way his breathing quickens makes me pause my plotting to escape his hold. And with his chest pressed against my back, I can feel his heart hammering quickly. Too quickly.

something is wrong

I draw back the bowstring, pulling it taut as my stitches do the same, threatening to tear. Pain sears through my abdomen and along my ribs but I bite my tongue, ignoring it. I smile slightly as I say, “Sorry to ruin your handiwork, partner.” “Pae, don’t you dare—” I fire. The arrow finds its mark in the chest of the closest wolf, burying deep into that shiny, silver fur.

He begins turning around as he says, “You still alive back there?” I inhale sharply when he turns, displaying the deep bite on his shoulder. Blood oozes from the imprint of jagged teeth, trailing down his arm and over his fingers in rivulets. His eyes find mine before widening when they find something over my shoulder. “Duck,” he orders, and I don’t hesitate before dropping into a crouch.

I stand slowly to my feet as I breathe, “You’re right. We do make a great team.”

“I’m not one of your soldiers, Kai.” “You’re right, you aren’t.” He strides toward me, and the sight of him so bloody is suddenly intimidating. But I force myself to stand my ground when he halts before me, close enough now for me to see his smoky eyes turn to ice. “My soldiers don’t mean anything to me. They are expendable and easy to replace.” His chest heaves, his eyes locked with mine. “So, yes, Gray. You aren’t one of my soldiers.”

“You know,” I mutter, examining the bite closely, “I’m beginning to think that you enjoy getting hurt, if only so you can have my hands all over you.” He lets out a low laugh. I can practically feel his gaze gliding over me as he says, “Oh, I’m not making you do anything, darling. You can leave me to bleed out if you must. Because I only want your hands all over me if you want them to be.” My eyes snap to his gray ones already pinned on me. I am playing a very dangerous game.

He is dangerous. And even with that one thought echoing in my mind, I hold his gaze and put my hands on him.

It’s been three days since a wolf took a bite out of me. Three days since Paedyn put her hands on me after I told her to only do so if she wanted to. And I don’t think I’ve been able to catch my breath since. Every time she looks at me, I feel like I’m gasping for air. I hate it. Liar.

THREE DAYS???

I hear the bubbling creek before I even see it. The small clearing comes into view and so does Paedyn. She sits on a stump, twisting that thick, silver ring on her thumb as she stares blankly at the fire, her hair blowing in the soft breeze. I grab some kindling and make my way over, throwing it on the fire before sitting down on a stump across from her. “Well, I don’t see any fresh wounds, so no luck, I’m assuming?” “I’m offended that you think I couldn’t come out of a fight unscathed.” After I give her a skeptical look, she finally grumbles, “No. No luck today.”

I watch her closely, assessing how she bites the inside of her cheek, spins the steel on her thumb, bounces her leg. She’s a mess of pent-up energy, anxiety eating away at her. But I let her think, giving her time before I pry for answers on what it is that has her so tense.

She’s so stunning, yet so stubbornly oblivious to how the sunset behind dulls in comparison to the vibrance that is her.

OMGGGG yall nobody else says this... ROMANTASY BOYS ON TOP

“Enlighten me, Prince.” Good. Let me distract you. My lips twitch into a smile. “You have a tell, darling.” “Do not.” She’s not laughing anymore and I almost regret saying anything at all. “You tap your left foot when you lie, ever so slightly.” She gapes and I grin. “I started noticing it when you said you hated my dimples. And obviously, we both know that is a lie.” I duck before the rock she throws at me can connect with my skull. Now I’m the one laughing. She turns her attention back toward the fire, fighting her smile. “I didn’t realize you had watched me so closely.” “Watched? Darling, I’ve never stopped.”

omg this is so good

“You know, we never got to finish our dance.” She blinks at me. “That wasn’t an answer.” “That’s because we haven’t danced yet. You should know how this works by now, Gray. We dance; you get your answer. Or we don’t and, well, you’ll be left to ponder all your burning questions about me.” She huffs out a laugh. “You’re kidding. Not this again.” “Yes, this again.” I stand to my feet and walk over to where she sits on her stump. “So,” I hold out my hand to her with a lazy bow, “are we dancing or not, Gray?” She rolls her eyes, trying to fight the smile that’s tugging at her lips. “Fine.” She lays her palm on my own and the mere contact has my pulse quickening. What has this girl done to me?

My other hand finds her waist, wrapping my arm around her back to pull her close. She feels so familiar in my arms, and I drink in every detail, memorize every movement.

“There’s no music,” she says flatly, her voice laced with amusement. “Well then I guess we won’t know when to stop dancing. How unfortunate.” My chin brushes the top of her head before I dip her toward the ground, making her gasp in surprise. “Don’t tempt me to stomp on your toes,” she threatens breathlessly. I raise her back up slowly as I say, “Oh, we can’t have that. I’m still recovering from the last time we danced.”

“Is that why you hate me so much? Because you thought I was like my father who you clearly don’t care for?” “I don’t hate you,” she answers too quickly, pausing to wonder if she’s said the right thing while I wonder why she hasn’t said it sooner. My smile is crooked. “Oh, you don’t hate me? So, what, every threat on my life is a declaration of love, then?” “I said I don’t hate you, Prince. That doesn’t mean I don’t despise you.” I duck my head, eyes searching hers. “I think you despise that you don’t despise me.”

“Darling, I doubt that the sight of someone dying would affect me as much as you do alive and well.” She swallows. “You’re a shameless flirt, Azer.” “Only for you.”

“So, what, you don’t think I could steal from you again without you noticing?” “I think that I notice everything you do. So, no.”

“That’s interesting, because I nicked this off you almost immediately after we started dancing.” I squint in the dim light, swearing under my breath when I realize what it is that she’s holding. Braxton’s leather strap, once safe in my pocket, is now pinched between her fingers and swinging in front of my face. “I’m impressed, Gray.” I shrug casually before adding, “I’m mostly shocked I didn’t notice with how closely I pay attention to you.”

I’d never thought about what my favorite color was before. It never seemed important. Not until I looked into a pair of ocean-blue eyes and realized that perhaps drowning was a beautiful thing. Not until I looked into a pair of fiery blue eyes and realized that perhaps burning was a painless thing. Not until I looked into a pair of sky-blue eyes and realized that perhaps falling was a peaceful thing. I’d never thought about what my favorite color was before because I hadn’t seen one that was worthy of the title. Until now, that is. “Blue,” I say, my voice low.

OMGGG

“Hmm.” She’s looking at me thoughtfully, studying me sincerely. “I would have never guessed.” Neither would I.

She ignores me. “Well, I know it’s not rabbit. I see the way your mouth twists when you eat it—” “I do not twist—” I pause, grinning. “Have you been looking at my mouth, Gray?” She opens her own mouth to argue, only to huff instead. “Just answer the damn question, Azer.”

“Vicious little thing,” I murmur under my breath. “You don’t know the half of it, Prince.” “Oh, but I hope one day I will.”

And then she’s peppering me with questions. Most of them random, though all are deemed equally important to her. She tells me stories of growing up, and I do the same, listening to her laugh at Kitt’s and my stupidity.

“Yes, but not before I took some of his pride.” “Why am I not surprised by that?” She gives me a sly smile. “Probably because you’ve gotten so used to me humbling you, Prince.” “That I have.” I pause, taking her in. “You never cease to amaze me, Gray.” I smirk as I release her hand to flick the tip of her nose lightly.

I grab her hand again and guide it up my arm until both her palms rest on my shoulders. Then I slip my hands around her waist and behind her back, careful of her injured side as I pull her closer. And then we just sway. No fancy footwork, no waltz to step in time to. Just us, in the middle of a forest, surrounded by thousands of winking stars. Her lashes flutter, and then her fingers are laced behind my neck. The tension between us pulls taut, like an invisible tether connecting the two of us. My pulse quickens and so does her breathing, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “I never cease to annoy you, huh?” I watch her face while pulling her impossibly closer. “What about now. Is this the exception?”

oh i love it here

She swallows and dips her head, not offering me an answer. I smile slightly as I try to get her to speak, a problem I’ve never had to deal with before. “Pae?” Still no answer. My fingers catch her chin, gently guiding her gaze to meet mine. There is confusion etched all over her face as she lets out a shaky laugh. “I’m annoyed that I’m not finding this annoying.” My hand tightens around her waist like it might catch fire from the feel of her. I’m embarrassed by how much this one girl engrosses me, afraid of how affected I am. It makes me feel equally weak and wonderful. Alarmed yet alive.

She pauses, pondering her answer. Then her eyes are pinned on mine. “Just because I was doomed for death doesn’t mean I wanted to damn you as well.” Her eyes roam over me, and I relish the feel of her gaze. And then she pulls away.

:/

Yes, we are opponents. Yes, I am the future Enforcer. Yes, I’m a killer that has no right to want to keep her. But there is something else, something that has her refusing to admit this confusing connection we share.

“Kai,” she says quietly, the sound of my name on her lips ripping me from my thoughts. “I—” A soft, female voice cuts through her words. “Sorry to interrupt, but you both have something I need.”

omg move around