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September 3 - September 8, 2025
My slanted, hasty handwriting is scrolled across my palm, relaying a very important message: She said I could touch her when I’m sober. I’m shocked that I have no recollection of writing this, considering how vividly I remember everything else about last night. Paedyn pressed against me, our conversation, her panic before I untied the laces of her dress. My lips twitch at the thought before I’m suppressing a smile when I remember how she pinned Blair during their fight and made her bleed.
I force out a quiet laugh. “I don’t know. I’m sure Kai wouldn’t mind having less competition.” He gives me an odd look, clearly trying not to laugh. “Not if that competition is you.” I huff in response, but Jax carries on cheerfully. “Speaking of Kai, I wonder how he is handling this.” “Handling what?” Jax pulls himself over a jagged rock with a grunt before breathlessly saying, “The mountain.” When my expression remains confused, Jax adds, “He hates heights.”
oh my bby
“Thank you for asking, Paedyn. I am quite all right,” Ace says, his voice lacking any tone or tenderness. I wipe the back of my hand over my eye, clearing it of the blood that is dripping from my wound. “How unfortunate.”
she so real for that
Movement stirs in the corner of my eye, and I squint in the dim light to focus on the figures climbing up the opposite side of the plateau, joining us. And despite the darkness, I know exactly who they are. Jax. Ace. Paedyn.
Our eyes meet, and the sound of the fight around me that was once so deafening begins to dull. The connection is electric, empowering even, as he watches me but does nothing to stand in my way. Does nothing to try to convince me not to take a life. Does nothing because he knows I can handle myself. Does nothing because Kai would do no differently.
“I would kill you…” My voice is stern and strong, loud enough for Kai to hear. I see Ace’s eyes light up with the assumption that I’m too weak to go through with ending his life. How very wrong he is. “But you are not mine to kill,” I finish, watching as his eyes darken, hatred replacing hope. My gaze finds Kai’s again, his eyes bright in the moonlight and smoldering like smoke from a fire. A muscle ticks in his jaw; his hands twitch at his sides. I give him a single, slow nod. And then he is striding toward us, shadows clinging to his silhouette. I barely have time to get off Ace before Kai
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The future Enforcer is resisting his urge for revenge and instead scanning my body for injuries. The thought has me swallowing the lump in my throat as his gaze lingers on the gash still gushing on my head before slowly sliding to my neck, which is likely already bruising. Then his eyes dart to something far behind me. The flag. No one has made it there yet, too busy fighting and focused on revenge to break away. When I look back at Kai, his eyes are already trained on me. “Go,” he murmurs the word, nodding toward the flag that will bring me victory. “Win this damn thing, Gray.”
oh i LOVE it here.
And then I’m suddenly standing beneath it, looking up at my prize. Looking up at my victory. And no one stops me as I rip off the flag.
YUHH
My mind is clearer, sharper, now that thoughts of Ace are no longer consuming it.
i was tired of that nigga
She handed Ace over to me despite wanting to dole out his death herself. She let me have my revenge without even knowing that it was partially for her. Because before I wanted to kill Ace for nearly killing Jax, I wanted to kill Ace for nearly killing Paedyn.
And yet, she looked at me as if I was deserving of Ace, of kindness, of— Her. I only want to be deserving of her.
But the surprise in Braxton’s gaze reflected in Blair’s. She wasn’t aiming for Braxton. No, that blunt, brutal death was heading for the silver-haired girl striding unsuspectingly toward her victory. I may have cheated Death of its intended victim, but I gave it a life, nonetheless. I borrowed Blair’s power and nudged fate in another direction. And it found Braxton. But I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again, and again, and again to save that silver-haired girl.
He eyes the two of us as he asks slowly, “It is interesting how the Slummer girl won this last one, don’t you think?”
AW tf.
“That was for your benefit, so you can use me when you’re king. Just like he has.” Wrong thing to say.
yikes kai..
“And I will proudly serve you. But you need to learn to think on your own because one day, Father won’t be there to do it for you. So, I suggest you start figuring out what you think is for the best.”
But the peace I feel is short-lived when a shadow shifts beside the trunk. I whirl, my fingers flying toward the dagger at my thigh, only to be caught by a rough hand. “Easy, Gray, it’s just me.”
kaiiii hiii
“But you’re more than welcome to stay.” And then he settles himself onto the ground, looking rather comfortable with his arm tucked behind his head. I stare at him. “What are you doing?” “Waiting for you to get down here and join me.” I stand there, watching the slow smile spread across his face. “Is it the dress?” he asks as he sits up and begins shrugging off his suit coat. When it’s slid off his shoulders, he lays it on the ground beside him. “There, now you won’t get all dirty.”
i love it here.
“How very gentlemanly of you, but that coat is not nearly big enough to save my dress from getting dirty.” “I can take off my shirt and lay that down for you as well if you like,” he says casually. “On second thought,” I mutter, “the coat will suffice.”
no it wont take it OFF
“So why are you here?” I smile slightly and echo his words. “To think. I like the quiet. The escape.” I see his lips twitch out of the corner of my eye, and we are quiet for a moment before I ask, “Is there a reason you dragged me down onto the dirt?” I look over at his shadowy profile as he stares at the branches above us. “To talk. To lie here in silence.” He shrugs lazily. “It doesn’t really matter.” I look away from him. “So, you just want someone to keep you company?” “Not someone. You.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, seeming to study my face, search my eyes. “Talk to me.” I stare at him, my voice suddenly very quiet when I finally ask, “About what?” I watch a faint smile curve his lips. “Anything. Everything. What you’re thinking at this very moment, darling.”
“I had to break my bones and then heal them. Or sometimes I’d be sliced open with a sword and have to learn how to stitch my own skin back together.”
bro what the hell cmon paedyn we ride at dawn abt our man.
He says this far too calmly, and I want to shake him of his cool composure. It doesn’t matter how strong the king made him. The prince before me has been nothing but a pawn created by the man he calls Father.
im sayinggg
“I cannot believe you don’t know what a thumb war is.” “Well, from the way you talk about it, it doesn’t seem like I’m missing out on much.” “Very fair point.” His lips twitch into a smirk. “And that’s exactly why I’m going to teach it to you, so we can suffer together.” He twists onto his side and props himself up on an elbow, watching as I do the same.
We are quiet for a moment as I assess how to beat him at this game. Per usual, distraction seems to be the best option, so I say, “Tell me something I don’t know about you.” He only seems slightly surprised by my random request, but it only takes him a moment to answer. “Blueberries. I don’t like them.”
“Now,” he says slowly, “tell me something I don’t know about you.” “Easy.” I give him a bright smile. “I love blueberries.” Kai groans. “Of course you do.” “They are just delicious. I mean, talk about the perfect blend of tart and sweet and—” “I am never going to hear the end of this, am I?” “—honestly, I think they might be the best fruit out there. I could easily eat them with every meal and—”
LMAO she trolling
I press my lips together to smother my smile. The future Enforcer is willing to listen to me ramble about fruit. The thought has me on the verge of both bursting out in laughter and blushing from head to toe.
The words die in my throat when he uncurls his hand from mine and trails his fingers down my arm. I suppress a shiver at his sudden touch, but the smile that lifts his lips tells me it didn’t go unnoticed. “I take it back,” he says softly. “This game isn’t boring in the least bit when I play it with you.” His gaze has dropped to the fingers gliding over my arm, and I still under his gentle touch. I’m not sure how long we stay like that, listening to the wind rustling the leaves above us as we study each other. And it’s only when his fingers trail up my neck to tuck a stray piece of hair behind
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“One of these days, I’m going to beat you fairly in a thumb war, and then you won’t find it so fun.” He chuckles softly, followed by an equally soft murmur. “It’s not the winning I find fun. It’s you, darling.”
The night has grown colder, and without the heat of Kai’s body next to mine, my thin dress does little to keep me warm. Kai sits up beside me and wraps his jacket around my shoulders. “You’re right. That coat is far too itchy for a prince to wear.” Then his lips twitch into a smirk. “So, I’ll let you wear it instead.”
*happily sighs*
The joy that had warmed me only moments ago is gone, replaced by the frigid, icy fingers of guilt. I’m suddenly reminded of his kindness, his tolerance for me telling him off, his willingness to listen. And look where it’s gotten him. Betrayal.
i love you girl but i will never forgive you for all that
It’s astounding how severely a single word can damn someone.
I nearly choke. Between coughs, I blame the outburst on the grimy air and not the information he so easily shared with me. The exact information I needed. My head is spinning. I invented the idea of Kitt using one of the tunnels to see Loot in order to learn where the other ones were, and which one led to the Bowl. And here we are, casually going through the exact one I needed to find.
SIGH.
“There’s only one problem,” I add, spinning the ring on my thumb anxiously. “You need a key to get into the passage, and it just so happens to always be on Kitt.” Finn snorts. “Easy. Undress him.”
i sat up so mf quick bro dont piss me off
Dagger. It’s her dagger. Its sharp point is pressed against her chest, drawing blood that runs down her body and mirrors the tears running down her face.
wait whats happening ???
She can’t die. I won’t allow it. Not by her hand or anyone else’s. Her screams are splitting my soul, my head, my heart. I can’t take it. I can’t take it. I can’t take it anymore. I feel tears stinging my eyes, streaming down my face. Now I’m begging. I’m begging her to stay. To live. For me. I might even be screaming too, sobbing too, shaking too.
omg stop this is rlly doing it for me
She’s smiling in death, as though happy to be rid of life. Happy to be rid of me. I am grief. I am sorrow. I am anguish alike. I think I might also be dead. Just decaying on the inside.
FREAKING OUT CAUSE THIS IS SO POETIC
When my fingers finally wrap around the cool handle of my door, I wrench it open and step out into the shadowed hallway. A cry echoes, and I still at the sound. It’s him. I don’t know how I know since I’ve never heard the future Enforcer cry out before, but something tugs me in the direction of his room. My feet are moving of their own accord, guiding me closer to him with every step.
oh my bby
The outline of a bed comes into view, along with the outline of the body atop it. I make my way to him, blinking as my eyes finally adjust to the lack of light, only to roam over his exposed chest, heaving and slicked with sweat. His head is thrown back against a pillow, strands of inky hair sticking to his forehead. He’s heaving shaky, shallow breaths, every inch of him taut. I can’t even begin to imagine what is haunting his sleep, what is stealing his rest and leaving him so ragged. What nightmare is so terrible that even the prince cannot defend himself?
OH MY BBY
“Kai.” I speak his name louder this time, shaking his shoulder to try to shake him from his nightmare. He cries out again, and I nearly do the same. Now I’m panting, panicking, pleading with him to wake up so we can go back to bantering instead of begging him to open his eyes. I climb onto his bed, swinging a leg over his body so he’s pressed between my thighs as I lay both hands on his slick chest. “Kai!” I’m shaking him, hard, willing him to wake.
And then those gray eyes snap open. Strong hands are suddenly gripping my waist and throwing me off him. My back is pressed against the mattress as he pins me down, hands crushing my arms, his body crushing mine. And then something cold is pressed against my throat. I’d know the feel of a dagger anywhere, so I don’t bother looking down at the one he is now pushing against my neck. I’m breathing heavily, keeping my eyes locked on his wild ones and my voice soft. “Kai, it’s me.”
whew
“Kai. It was just a nightmare.” I keep my voice calm while ignoring my thundering heart that says I’m anything but. “Kai, it’s me. Paedyn.”
“It’s me. Pae.” My voice trembles, barely more than a whisper now. “Kai?” Then my voice cracks and something seems to crack inside him as well.
He takes a shuddering breath, looking at what he’s done. Releasing my arm from his startling grip, he slides the dagger back under his pillow while trying to calm his breathing. His cool mask has cracked, crumbled in his panic, and I can see every emotion as it flits across his face. I’ve never seen him so disheveled, so disoriented, so disgusted with himself. His eyes are haunted, filled with horrors as they wander around the room, refusing to meet my gaze. I can tell he is about to get off me without a word, and I refuse to let that happen. Refuse to forget this moment when the prince was
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oh bae its ok
Those ghostly, gray eyes flutter shut at the feel of my hand on his cheek. I cup his face, timidly, tenderly, as I silently marvel at the feel of him against my palm. His jaw is set, and a muscle feathers in it as I slide my thumb across his cheek. He ducks his head, eyes still squeezed shut so he doesn’t have to meet mine. “Look at me.” My command is both soft and stern, sure and shaky. My other hand is on his face now, helping to guide it back up to meet my gaze.
“Don’t hide from me,” I breathe, suddenly unable to catch my breath with the way he is looking at me. “Not anymore.”
His swift hand catches my wrist before running his fingers gently over my throat. I barely suppress a shudder at his touch, at the feel of his calluses brushing my flushed skin. “Look at what I’ve done.” His voice is rough, still riddled with the remnants of sleep and raw with the cries that ripped from his throat. He pulls back his fingers, now smudged with sticky blood.
my man is distraught
But he just stares at me before saying softly, “You’re going to get blood in your hair.” I might have laughed again at that if it weren’t for his fingers at my throat, making me fall silent. He sits up slightly, slowly sliding one hand to the nape of my neck before lifting my head gently off the pillow and brushing my hair back with the other. He takes his time, letting his fingers run through the silver strands while he cradles my head.
now he gotta calm himself
