More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
I’ve always been a lot of things—smart, polite, kind—but never beautiful. And faith? If people were as good as he says, then I wouldn’t have needed to run until my feet bled.
The only woman within who knows how many miles and you’re still not good enough.
“If they both want you to come, then I won’t say no, but there are rules, Eden. Rules I don’t think you’ll be so quick to agree to.”
“There are five of us at Bristlebrook, darlin’. We’ve had women there before and it . . . Well, it don’t work too well. Not when there’s the chance she’s the last woman we’ll ever see, you understand? Too much jealousy. Whole heap of drama. Whether you can pull your weight or not, well, that isn’t really the problem.” Beau’s voice has taken on that slow, coaxing tone again, like he’s worried I’m going to bolt. I’m not altogether sure I won’t. “We decided after the last time that if we had a woman under our roof again, she’d belong to all of us. Equally. Or she couldn’t stay.”
I love to learn and helping others to learn. Knowledge is how our world grows, how people do, as well. You can never experience as much in your lifetime, or see through so many eyes, as you will by reading what others have to say. Books will glue our world back together, if anything can.”
“Family is who you choose to make it, Eden.”
“Whatever I agreed, you do not have the right to manhandle me like that unless I give you permission!”
You will treat me like a lady!” I add,
“My husband is the only man I ever slept with. We met when we were teenagers.”
“Do you want me to fuck you?”
I wouldn’t have to be lonely anymore.
just because you’re scared I’ll choose her over you, the way you chose Heather over me.” He stiffens. “I didn’t—” “Don’t. Don’t lie to me,” I warn, chest tight. Jasper’s been trying to get me to talk to Dom about this for years, but I haven’t been able to find the words.
“Our friendship can’t take another hit, Beau.” He looks up at me, golden eyes solemn. “We’re full of holes as it is.”
Maybe we should find someone to help us heal them. We’ve always been better with a third.”
It makes me feel strange. Overtly female. Every example of their hard discipline makes me hyperaware of my softness. The height at which they keep the showerhead reminds me how small I am.
“And I find it hard to believe that forty-plus men would take this many risks for one woman, no matter how hard up they are. They were already in our woods, close to our home.
“This is not her fault. Best I can tell, our librarian’s cave was more or less on the fringes, and she just happened to run our way.
“Don’t sleep with her.”
“Years, Jasper. It’s been years. And she likes me. I won’t have to be— Damn it! You’re doing this now?”
“I know it’s cruel. I know it’s unfair. But . . . I’m asking anyway.”
“So I should blow my chance with Eden and just . . . wait until you decide whether I’m worth it?”
think we are, actually,” I tell him as I crack in a thousand places. “We are done, Jasper.”
“I find it hard to relate to anyone who thinks that ‘To see others suffer does one good, to make others suffer even more.’
“A simple, ‘Yes, Jasper’ will suffice, Eden.”
“You might do well to teach her a few lessons before she comes to me, Lucien, since you’re fond of her.”
“Yes, I have bottomed for Jasper before when he needed a release. We don’t have sex”—I
“But he’s a sadist, and he occasionally needs to work out his shit on someone who likes to take it. Which I do.
By all that’s holy, she’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.
If she thinks I’m all apple pie and slow talk, she’s in for the shock of her life.
“Gettin’ yourself prepared so we can all spread you out and fill you up with our cum.”
“Open you up and see where you’re all pink and pretty? Right here, where anyone could walk in?”
“I’m not your pet, Beau,” she says. “I am your equal, despite what you all seem to think. I’m more than just your plaything. I can choose to leave at any time if this isn’t working for me.” Her chin lifts with quiet pride. “I’m here for myself—not for you.”
“LUCKY,” Dom roars. All color drains from Eden’s face, leaving her white to her lips.
“You stole the bazooka from my room?”
He releases Lucky and steps toward me, his face set in narrow-eyed disbelief. Dangerous intent lines his muscles. “You went into my room.” Step. “Without permission.” Step. “Rifled through my closet.” Step. “And stole from me?” Panic. PANIC. Damn it, why can’t I move? I’m frozen still; someone’s dipped me in ice. “I— It was a bet. I had to. I lost, and I had to do a dare, and I didn’t have a choice, and I—”
“It’ll go easier if you submit to your punishment, darlin’,”
“I just feel safe with you, I guess.” Heavy brows lower, and I can’t help but smile at his consternation.
And I do want new rules, I think. To finally make some for myself. I want to be able to speak my mind without fear of consequence. I want to fill my days with whatever or whomever I want. I want to be able to form real relationships.
“To show that sometimes the greatest beauty lies in our flaws. The most strength, in the ways we break.”
“Dominic is the only one with the patience for it. We play occasionally,”
“I would be lying if I said I don’t enjoy a sub being nervous around me.
I don’t intend on causing you any harm, or crossing any lines you aren’t comfortable with me crossing.
“May I ask something of you, Eden?” “Mm-hmm,” I mumble, still puzzling over the board. “Will you tell me about your husband?”
“I was married for ten years. We divorced a year before the strikes. One of the last conversations I had with my mother was about the divorce, actually. Despite her years here in America, it was still not something she felt comfortable with.
“I loved Soomin . . . very much.”
“I grew up in a trailer park,”
“My mother was an addict—I don’t know who my father was—and after I was born, she left me with my grandmother.”
“She was fine, as long as I followed her rules.
“I met my husband, Henry, when I was eighteen,” I quietly offer in return. “He was handsome, and wealthy, and I thought he was so kind when he did me the high honor of lifting me out of poverty. He worked so hard to help me slide easily into his world. To . . . correct . . . all my embarrassing behaviors.” My throat feels sore, no matter how I swallow. “And in exchange, I adored him.”
My body called for control, for pain. Craved it like air, or water. It wasn’t a desire . . . it was a vocation.”
