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bipolar disorder and narcissism,
Barb
the narcissistic patterns mean ongoing victimhood, irritability,
narcissistic often have co-occurring attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or evidence of problems with attention.[15] This is challenging because the ADHD can be deployed as an excuse for why the narcissistic person is impulsive or can’t pay attention
when you are talking (but is able to stay on point when the conversation is about them or they are focused on something that matters to them)—and ADHD in and of itself is not associated with mani...
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that a narcissistic person may think they don’t need therapy and drop out of treatment, or not get it at
most people who experience trauma do not go on to develop narcissistic personalities.
may find yourself justifying their behavior (“Maybe they are just anxious . . .” but most anxious people aren’t abusive).
personality is consistent, a sort of backbeat that constantly plays behind the vocals. Other mental health patterns may only flare up at times
Many narcissistic people commandeer mental health explanations for their chronically invalidating behavior as a more excusable explanation, and then will still n...
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it’s almost always the people who are in the relationships with the narcissistic people who are getting into therapy, while the narcissists rarely show up for treatment themselves.
The behaviors the narcissistic people engage in to dominate and protect their fragility are where the harm begins.
allow yourself to clearly observe the behavior.
stop blaming yourself—and to start healing.
Death by a Thousand Cuts: The Narcissistic Relationship
The entire family was organized around his father’s interests.
Weekends would have to be turned around to accommodate his golf schedule and the family was expected to come and cheer him on at every tournament.
shell of her former self—she often seemed sad, anxio...
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it was almost impossible for Jordan to conceive that she had once h...
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his father gave more attention to his friends’ children than to him and his sister.
trying to please an unpleasable man
His father’s rage, entitled behavior, unrealistic expectations that his family simply be an audience for his validation-seeking behavior,
allow the narcissistic person to retain power and control in the relationship.
control and dominance in the relationship and maintain a grandiose and distorted appraisal of themselves—which protects their vulnerability, insecurity, and fragility and suppresses their shame—while resulting in significant psychological harm to the other person or people in the relationship. The abusive behaviors alternate with periods of connection and comfort.
narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.
Milder narcissistic abuse may feel like being taken for granted and being chronically disappointed, while at the severe end we may witness violence, exploitation, stalking, and coercive control.
To the world your relationship may look fine, while you live in a confused and uncomfortable haze. Let’s
narcissistic abuse erode your identity, intuition, and sense of well-being.
generating doubt about your experiences, memory, perception, judgment, and emotions.
Gaslighting is a gradual process. It requires you to have some level of trust or belief in the expertise of the gaslighter, the way we may have with someone we are falling in love with, a family member, or an employer. The gaslighter capitalizes on this trust and uses it to dismantle you, which keeps them in power.[2] The gaslighter seeds doubt in you (“That never happened,
narcissistic people to maintain their narrative and version of reality, which serves an ego-protective function for them
for a narcissistic relationship to last, you must submit to their reality.
Staying in the church
give in to keep the relationship afloat.
DARVO stands for deny (the behavior), attack (the person confronting them about the behavior), and reverse victim and offender (the gaslighter positions themselves as a victim—e.g., “Everyone is out to get me”—and the other person as the abuser—e.g., “You are always coming at me and criticizing me”).
not only confused and “crazy” but even like they are “bad people” after they have endured gaslighting for an extended period of time.
The DIMMER Patterns Dismissiveness, invalidation, minimization, manipulation, exploitativeness, and rage
the narcissistic relationship can be viewed as a switch that dims your sense of self and well-being.
To be in a narcissistic relationship is to have your needs, feelings, beliefs, experiences, thoughts, hopes, and even sense of self be dismissed and invalidated.
This may be as simple as the narcissistic person not listening or contemptuously dis...
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Over time this can feel dehumanizing because anything you bring up is wri...
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it can slowly feel like you d...
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Dismissiveness often foreshadows contempt and an absolute disregard and disdain for you and anything that matters to you.
Dismissiveness is ignoring a concern or need you may be having; invalidation is having your needs chronically shamed and denied (“Don’t be a baby and make me waste a day sitting at your doctor’s appointments, I can’t change your disease by sitting there, and I can’t stand hospitals”). Over time the invalidation steals your voice and ultimately your sense of self.
Over time it can feel safer to not be seen. Minimization is when
minimization not only of your feelings and experience but also of your achievements,
trivializing a promotion you received or the difficulty of completing your degree at school.
Minimization may even put you in harm’s way, particularly when narcissistic people minimize your health concerns, which may result in a delay in getting support or treatment.
creating vulnerabilities, such as isolating you or making you financially dependent, and taking advantage of that situation. It
Narcissistic people feel entitled to their volatile and reactive rage, which is often activated by shame. If you trigger their feelings of inadequacy, they will often target you with either overt aggression (yelling and screaming) or passive-aggression (stonewalling, giving you the silent treatment, showing resentment).
The unwillingness of narcissistic people to control their impulses means they can be highly reactive, especially when they feel provoked, envious, or disempowered.
through behaviors like road rage.
