Redeeming 6 (Boys of Tommen, #4)

by Chloe Walsh

“Queen.” My heart soared to new heights. There he is. He’s still here. “Hey, stud,” I replied, using my shoulder to wipe a rogue tear from my cheek as I continued to cradle his face to my stomach. “I’m right here.” “Am I dead?” “No, baby, you’re not dead.” I tilted his face up so that I could look at him. “You’re safe, okay?” Lonesome green eyes, so full of heartache and loss, stared up at me. “Is she dead?” Sniffling back a sob, I cupped his tearstained face between my hands and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Yeah, baby, your mam didn’t make it.” He didn’t react. He didn’t stiffen or flinch or scream or cry. Instead, he closed his eyes, settled his head back on my lap, and whispered, “I thought it was a nightmare.” Shredded.

“You’re going to make it, Joe. I swear it.” “Okay, Molloy.” Another tear trickled down his cheek. “Whatever you say.”

“That’s my job, remember?” I joked through my tears. “I’m the one saving 6.” “What if I can’t get better, Aoife?” he choked out, holding onto my body for dear life. “What if this is who I am?” “Then you’ll still be stuck with me,” I told him. “Because I love you, stud. In all your shapes and forms.” “I let them down.” “Who?” “The boys.” He shuddered. “Shannon.” “No, baby, you didn’t let anyone down.” “They hate me.” “Nobody who knows the real you could ever hate you,” I whispered, wiping a tear from his cheek. “If you could only understand how much you mean to those children, how much they adore you, appreciate you. If you could only see yourself through their eyes…” I exhaled shakily. “You are so important to so many people.”

“Ham sandwiches and cans of Coke,” I reeled off, setting the plate and glass in the sink. “That’s the way to his heart.”

“Any other advice, Aoife, love?” she asked with a weary sigh. “Yeah, don’t give up on him,” I told her, forcing my lip to stop wobbling as I spun around to face her. “I know he’s difficult and can be a right pain in the hole at times, but you need to not quit on him, Edel. No matter what. If you quit one time, one single time, then that’s it.” Leaning against the sink at my back, I snapped my fingers for emphasis. “He’ll be done. That flicker of hope? That tiny semblance of a bridge he’s offering you and John into his world? He’ll burn it to the ground the minute you let him down, and you’ll never get back in.”

You could hear a pin drop as I watched Edel read my boyfriend’s suicide note. With every line she read, her hands shook harder. “Read the part at the end,” I instructed when she gasped and clenched her eyes shut. “Read the part where he was trusting his babies with you and John.” “The poor boy.” “Because that’s what Ollie, Shan, Tadhg, and Sean are,” I forced myself to continue. “They’re his babies, and something about you and your husband resonated with him. You don’t realize how momentous that is. He planned on killing himself, and the saddest part about it is that he’s been fighting his whole life. He’s tired. He’s so damn weary, and I know that despite everything he would never contemplate leaving those kids unless he had a plan for them. He did have a plan for them. He finally found a home for his babies with people he feels he can trust. If you knew Joe like I do, then you’d know that he doesn’t trust. He’s been through too much, so the fact that he wrote all of this down and was prepared to go against his mother and brother to get his siblings to safety? Well, that’s one hell of a compliment to you and John.” “Oh, Aoife love.”

“You don’t wait, do you hear me?” His words infuriated me, but I didn’t respond. How could I? It was taking everything in me to hold it together. I wouldn’t fall apart now. Not here. “You live your life, okay, Molloy?” As if that was even an option. I was pregnant with his baby, for Christ’s sake.

“I’ll be here when you get out.” I knew I sounded pathetic, like another stupid woman putting her future on the line for a man, but I needed to give him hope. “Don’t be here.” He leaned in and kissed me hard. “Be somewhere better.” “I don’t take orders from you,” I breathed, lips moving against his. “You should know that by now.” “Because you’re crazy stupid.” His lips, all swollen and busted up, brushed against mine as he spoke. “You’re wasting your life on me. You know this. Everyone keeps telling you, but you won’t listen—” “Because it’s my life to waste,” I snapped, reaching up to grab the lapels of his suit jacket. Keeping my eyes clenched shut to keep the tears at bay and trying for humor, I added, “Now, you get your sexy ass better and come home to me. Because I’m going to need you healthy, okay?” That was the truth. I needed him healthy. Hell, I just needed him, period. “Aoife.” Pain washed over his features. “I’m a bad bet.” “Okay,”

“I love you, queen. Always have and always will.” He continued to break me down by whispering, “There was only ever you for me. Stone-cold sober or off my trolly, my head knows that.” Taking my hand in his, he pressed it to his chest before adding, “My heart knows that, too.” “Joe.” “I’ve done you wrong in so many ways, I couldn’t even begin to list them, but I would never do ya wrong like that. I have never done you wrong like that, okay? If I’ve given you nothing else these past few years, trust that I’ve given you fidelity. I never broke that promise, Molloy. Fucking never.”

“Promise me, Joe!” I broke down and called out, crying hard, as I watched him walk away from me for what could potentially be the last time. “Promise me that you’ll come back for me!” Weak girl. Weak, weak, weak, fucking weak! Shoulders stiffening, he stopped walking and turned back to me. An expression of pain and frustration was etched on his face. “Molloy.” “Come back for me, Joe,” I cried out hoarsely, clutching my stomach. “Get better and come back for me… For your family.” Looking shattered, he stared at me for the longest moment before nodding. “I’ll come back for you. For both of you.” And then he was gone.

All I could see was her. The girl from the wall.

“Put the gun down, Joey,” she replied with a sad smile. “The fight’s over.” “Yeah, well, I’ve been fighting for so long, I don’t know how to take my finger off the trigger,”

“Someone tipped the drug squad off about a shipment of coke with a street value of six hundred grand.” “What?” My mouth fell open as awareness dawned on me. As I took in everything he wasn’t saying. “How would someone know to tip them off?” “Maybe someone has friends in the right places,” he offered, reaching across the table to cover my hand with his. “Maybe before they moved on, someone wanted to make sure his first love had a fighting chance with her first love.”

“You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that.” “What? I love you?” I heard him sniff before saying, “Yeah.” “Well, I love you, Joey Lynch,” I croaked out, wiping my cheeks with my free hand. “And apparently, I can’t stop.” “Thank fuck for that,” he replied. “Because apparently I can’t stop loving you, either, Aoife Molloy.”

“I’m coming home to you, Molloy. I promise.”

“You left me, Darren. You fucking left me with them. I loved you most. I looked up to you. I worshipped the goddamn ground you walked on, and you just disappeared from my life.” “I know,” he choked out. “Jesus, I know.” “I was twelve.” My voice was strangled and my chest heaving as I spilled my pain. “Twelve, Darren. When you were twelve, you had me. When I was twelve, I had nobody.” “I’m so sorry, Joe.” “Saying you’re sorry doesn’t fix it,” I choked out. “It’s a word. I know you mean it, I know you’re sorry, but it’s a fucking word, Darren. It doesn’t fix the hole you left in me.”

“I already told you that I’m not interested in any of this,” I reminded her, squirming in discomfort when she squeezed my cheek. “I’m not your boy.” “And I already told you that we’re keeping you.” She chuckled. “Finders keepers, Joey love. You’re mine now.” Jesus.

“I’ll see ya soon, Mam.” A tear trickled down my cheek and I was surprised I could still feel. “Stay out of my head now, ya hear?”

“Your mother loved you, Joey,” Edel vowed, as she pulled me into her arms. “I swear it, love.” Tightening her arms around me, she stroked my hair with her hand. “She just forgot to show

“One day, I will pay you back for everything.” “Joey love.” Closing the space between us, she pressed her hand to my cheek and smiled up at me. “You being here is all the payment I need.”

“Who taught you to pull hair? Shannon?” “Actually, it was your girlfriend,” he countered. “When she was screaming my name.” I narrowed my eyes in warning. “Tadhg.” “Yes, Tadhg, yes!” he mocked. “I’m warning ya.” “Oh, Tadhg, you’re so much better than Joey.” “You little shit.” “You deserved it.” He chuckled, flopping onto his back beside me. “Asshole.”

“Hey, Johnny?” Ollie asked, strolling into the living room later that evening. “Are you going to marry my sister?” “Wait for it,” Gibsie snickered, nudging my shoulder as he tapped away on his PlayStation controller in front of a giant TV in the living room. “He’s going to start getting stroke symptoms.” Smirking, I paused our game with my controller and turned my attention to the terrified-looking rugby player. “Good question, Ols.” Right on cue, Kav’s breathing increased, and a bead of sweat trickled down his temple. “Ollie!” Shannon squealed, turning the color of her crimson sundress. “You can’t ask him that.” “But he bought balloons to play with you,” Ollie offered innocently. “And Joe says you only use those special balloons with girls when you want to marry them.” “I did say that,” I laughed, remembering back to a time when that awkward fucking conversation came up. In my defense, Ollie was eight at the time, and he’d caught me off guard. “A lot he’d know about using balloons,” Johnny muttered, looking rattled as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. “Bareback bollocky-Bill.” “Balloons?” Shannon asked, tone laced with confusion as she snuggled up on Kav’s lap. “What are you—” “Yeah, baby.” He gave her a meaningful look that said go with it. “Balloons.” “Oh.” Shannon’s eyes widened as awareness dawned on her. “Balloons.” “Balloons.” Gibsie choked out a laugh. “Ah, lad. I love this kid.” “Hold on.” Frowning, Ollie turned to look at me. “Do you and Aoife play with ballo...

“Now, who’s up for a burger from the chipper?” Kav said no at the same time Shannon said yes, and I swear I’d never seen a lad do a one-eighty faster. “You want something from the chipper, Shan?” “Uh, maybe?” she replied. “If that’s okay?” “Anything,” he replied gruffly. “You can have anything you want, baby.” Beaming up at him, my sister reeled off her food order, while Kav hung on her every word. “Anything, Shannon like the river,” Gibsie parroted in mocking tone, clutching his chest. “You can have anything, baby.” “Gibs,” Kav warned, climbing to his feet and pocketing his wallet. “Give it a bleeding rest, will ya?” “You can have my battered sausage,” Gibs continued to gush mockingly. “Like I said: anything for you, baby.” “I’ll take a spin into town if it’s going,” I interrupted, deciding that it would be mentally less scarring to ignore the battered sausage jibe. “See if Aoife’s back.”

When the words, “Nice legs,” filled my ears, I froze in my bedroom doorway. Froze and peed myself. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw him. There he was. Covered in scars and drowning in secrets. The self-inflicted ones, the bruising on his veins, the indents on his flesh from where he’d shot up, were harder to stomach than the ones he’d endured at the hands of his father. But he was here. He was back. He was home. He was clean.

“Yeah, I’m going to need you to let me out of this car,” Gibsie announced, dry-heaving from the front seat as he drove like a maniac toward the city. “Like right fucking now!” “You’re driving the bleeding car, ya bollox,” Johnny barked, looking equally as distressed in the passenger seat. Putting his head in his hands, he rocked his oversized body back and forth. “It’s grand, Gibs. It’s perfectly normal. We can get through this together.” “All I wanted was a burger.” “I know, Gibs.” “And maybe a curry chips. Is that too much to ask for? And now, after what we’ve just witnessed, I’ll never eat again, Johnny.” “Would you two shut the fuck up,” Joey snapped, flustered. “You’re scaring her.” “She’s scaring me!” Gibsie accused, reaching across the console to grab Johnny’s hand. “I know, lad,” Johnny choked out, clutching his hand. “Me too.”

“Would you listen to her?” Gibsie demanded, waving a hand around animatedly. “Talking down to me like she knows everything.” Glaring at the sat nav attached to the dashboard of his car, he shouted, “What the fuck do you know about it? Huh? You’re not even from Ireland!” “It’s a bot, Gibs, not an actual person,” Johnny tried to explain. “Don’t take it personal.” “Oh, don’t let her fool you, Cap. She knows what she’s doing,” Gibsie argued. “Judging me from her little screen.”

“Jesus,” I breathed, cradling him in my arms as my emotions got the better of me. “You’re here.” And then he opened his eyes and looked at me. And I was done. My heart no longer beat for me. For the rest of my days, it would beat entirely for the child in my arms. Fuck.

“This little guy has one heck of a fighter for a mammy.”

For the second time in my life, I was a father. For the first time in my life, I had a child of my own. It felt different now than it had with Ollie, Sean, and Tadhg. It felt deeper. There was something inside of me, an invisible cord of sorts, that went from my chest into his. I felt it every time I laid eyes on him.

I sleep well at night knowing that I have a grandson like you in the world.

“It’s my turn, Molloy.” He kissed my hair. “To look after you.”

“Oh, Aoife, that’s a lovely sentiment.” “Actually, we decided to name our son after the man who raised the both of us,” I confirmed quietly. “Because, let’s face it, the only man I ever had to show me the way was your husband.”

“Is he single?” “You’re not his type.” “What’s his type?” “His girlfriend.” I smirked to myself. Well, this was a turnup for the books. She was defending me. Shaking off their remarks, I winked at my sister before making my way to my first class, arriving later than everyone else because this school was a fucking castle to navigate.

“Fuck you, Gibsie.” “Fuck you?” He threw his head back. “I wouldn’t ride you into battle.” The entire class erupted in laughter. “Howdy, friend,” Gibsie said with a grin when I dropped into the chair next to his. Jesus. “Gibs.” “Wah-hey! You got my name right.” “Yeah.” I shrugged. “Well, I figured I better learn it off seeing as I’m stuck with ya until next June.” “That you are, my friend.” He chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his. “That you are.” “So, where’s your other half?” “Claire-Bear? She’s in the year below us.” “No, asshole. Kav.” “Oh!” Gibsie laughed. “Oh, you mean my other other half. He’s in honors maths.” Frowning, Gibsie muttered, “Cap’s in honors everything.” He chuckled to himself, clearly amused with something he was thinking about, before shaking his head and adding, “Fair bit of a genius is your future brother-in-law.”

“Hey, guys,” Shannon chirped, strolling into the canteen with her two pals in tow. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw me sitting at the table with them. She even bounced a little, but managed to school her features before reaching the table. “Hey, Joe,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant as she moved to take up the vacant seat next to Kav. “Shan,” I acknowledged, watching as Kav pulled the chair out for her—the same chair he’d been guarding like a lion all lunch. “Hi, Johnny.” “Hi, Shannon.” “That’s her throne,” Gibsie chuckled in my ear. “Nobody but Little Shannon sits next to the king of the jungle—or in our case, the king of Tommen.”

“Shan?” Two girls approached the table then. “Is your little brother Tadhg Lynch?” “Yeah,” my sister replied, brow furrowing in confusion. “Why?” “He’s outside the girls bathroom getting into it with Ronan McGarry.” “Oh god,” Shan mumbled, dropping her head in her hands. “I’ll sort it,” Kav said, rising to his feet, but I was already on my feet, retracing my steps back toward the main hallway. “Tadhg!” I snapped, pushing through the crowded corridor in search of my hotheaded baby brother. I could see his blond head at the far end of the hallway, clearly sizing up some older lad. “Your kind don’t belong in this school,” the other lad taunted, and I knew his words would be like a red rag to a bull to my brother. “So, why don’t you and the rest of your band of scumbag siblings go back where you belong.” “And where exactly do my kind belong?” Tadhg seethed, letting his schoolbag fall from his shoulders as he stepped forward to shove the bigger lad in the chest. “Hmm? Come on, fuck face. Where do I belong?” “Across town, in one of the council estates with the rest of your scummy kind.” Grinning, the bigger lad added, “But you can leave your sister here with us, since she so willingly opens her legs for Cap—” “You’re a fucking dead man, McGarry!” came Tadhg’s feral roar just as I shoved through the crowd and reached his side. “Don’t be thick,” I warned, catching ahold of the arm my little brother had reared back. “He’s not worth your time, kid. Walk away.” “But he called Shannon...

Would he have the same failing—the same defected genes—as his father? As his grandfather? Did I curse this baby? Was he going to grow up all fucked up in the head because I was his father? Jesus, I hoped not.

“I’m proud of you, Joe.” “You are?” Smiling softly, she trailed her fingers down my neck before placing her hand back down on my chest. “I am.”