Keeping 13 (Boys of Tommen, #2)

by Chloe Walsh

Dad sighed heavily. “What do you want us to do, son?” “I want you to nail that bastard to the wall,” I told him. “I want justice for those kids. I want justice for my girlfriend. It’s not enough that he gets to walk away from this when they can’t.” I turned to my mother. “They’re completely fucked up, Ma. He wrecked them!”

“Nothing.” “Shan…” She blew out a harsh breath. “I’m scared.” I sat straight up. “Do you want me to come and get you now?” “No, no, no,” she hurried to say, tone hushed. “There’s nothing wrong. I’m just nervous.” She exhaled another shaky breath before saying, “Can you stay on the phone with me? You don’t have to talk. I just…I feel better when I know you’re close.” Closing my eyes, I flopped back down and swallowed a furious growl. “Of course,” I managed to say instead, keeping my tone gentle. Settling under my duvet, I whispered, “I’m right here, baby.”

It was hard for me to comprehend why a guy in Johnny’s position, with everything going for him, had so willingly attached his sail to my damaged mast. But he had. And every day that passed since was made bearable because I had him.

“Because I’m not taking your virginity in this house, Shannon!” he growled, jaw clenched. “On an after-school whim, with your brother’s fucking condom.” He shook his head. “I’m not doing that, baby.”

“I don’t mind, Johnny,” I urged. “Honestly, I don’t.” “Well, I mind,” he shot back, pulling himself up on his elbows. “I’m not having sex with you and skulking out the door an hour later because your family will be home.” Groaning, he pressed a kiss to my lips and climbed off me. “You deserve better, and I’m not doing that to you.” Chest heaving, he walked over to my bedroom window and leaned against the sill. “When we sleep together, I want us to sleep together.” He looked over his shoulder, blue eyes blazing. “All night.”

“I want to make it good for you,” he added, turning back to face me. “And I can’t do that on a timer.”

“I just want to keep you.” He chuckled softly. “You can.” “You promise?” I croaked out, clenching my eyes shut and tightening my hold on his poor neck. “I promise,” he replied gruffly, pressing another kiss to my collarbone. “I’m already yours.”

“It’s scary,” I admitted in a small voice. “Thinking about you going away soon.” “I know,” he told me, voice thick. “It’s scary for me, too.” “Really?” I asked shakily. “Of course! Shannon, I don’t want to leave you,” he said, tightening his hold on me. “But if I make it onto the squad, it’s only for a month of the summer and then I’ll be back to you.”

Stifling a giggle, I darted off the bed and pushed open my bedroom window. “You can climb out here.” “I can’t jump down,” Johnny hissed, gesturing to his crotch. “My dick.” Now I did laugh—loudly. Johnny narrowed his eyes. “It’s not funny, Shan. I only just got it back working.”

“It’s my business if she comes home pregnant—” “No,” Johnny snapped, interrupting him. “It’s my business if that happens. Not yours or any other member of your fucked-up family’s. It’s mine.” Turning back to me, he pressed a kiss to my cheek and said, “Bye, Shannon,” before stalking out of my bedroom.

“And I can’t count the number of coaches and other parents who have come up to me, telling me that my boy was destined for the green jersey.” Smiling, she added, “I’ve always been proud of you, love, and I’ve always known you were brilliant.” “You’ve never said any of that before,” I mused, scratching my jaw. Mam smirked. “Because I’m still holding out hope that you’ll take up golf instead.”

“Come on, Shan. Let’s go make some bleeding babies.” “The garage is outside, son,” Mr. Kavanagh said, laughing. “Don’t talk to me,” Johnny choked out, upping his pace. “Keep your bedroom door open, Jonathan,” Mrs. Kavanagh called after us. “Fuck off, the pair of ye,” he roared, pulling me up the staircase. “And put some clothes on. My friends are on the way over.” “Uh, I don’t want to make any babies today, Johnny,” I croaked out, hurrying up the steps after him. “Me either, Shan,” he grumbled, leading me down the landing to his bedroom. “And I couldn’t if I wanted to because it’s gone.”

“If I’m boring, fuck off home and find someone else to torment,” Johnny grumbled. “I can’t,” Gibsie mused. “You might be a boring fucker, but I’m awfully fond of you, and I always miss you too much when we’re apart.”

“Who the fuck are you?” my father snarled, red-faced. “You should know me,” Johnny seethed, shoving my father so hard that his back hit the side of the car with a loud bang. “I’m the rugby prick, remember?” Fisting the front of my father’s shirt, Johnny reared his head back and bopped my father in the face. Blood sprayed everywhere and I flinched. “I’m your daughter’s boyfriend,” he continued, shoving my father against the car once more before swinging his fist and connecting with my father’s jaw. “And I’ve been dying to meet you.”

“Will you come home with me tonight?” He glanced at me, blue eyes blazing with heat. “Will you stay with me? So I know you’re safe?” “Yeah.” I blew out a shaky breath and nodded, knowing there was nowhere else I wanted to be than with him. “I’ll stay with you.”

“I love you, Johnny Kavanagh,” I choked out, clenching my eyes shut as I grabbed his arm and held it to my chest. “Most in the world.” “I love you back, Shannon Lynch,” he said quietly in my ear and I felt the connection I had to him in the deepest part of my soul. “Most in the world.” “For keeps?” I breathed. He kissed my shoulder. “For keeps.”

Shannon Lynch changed me. I knew that sounded like trite bullshit, but it was the truth. That day back in January when I knocked her out with my ball, I’d been so fucking lost and miserable. I hadn’t realized just how much until I looked into those midnight-blue eyes and was met with an almost mirror replica of my own secrets and pain. I was hurt and scared for reasons completely different to hers, but something snapped into place for me that day, and I hadn’t been the same since.

Five months had passed since the day she burst into my life, throwing everything in a spin, and my feelings for her were deeper than ever. I honest to god felt like I was drowning in everything she was. Her pain, her smiles, her horrible fucking family, her playful personality—the one that peeked out when we were alone together. I was completely caught up in her.

“I didn’t steal them,” I growled. “I took them.” “Steal, take—it’s all the same, Johnny,” he snapped. “They are not a product of your fucked-up dick, therefore you have no business taking them anywhere.”

“Take them back to whatever playground you found them in.” “It’s a little more complicated than that,” I bit out, grinning and giving the boys two thumbs up. Ollie and Sean waved back at me. Tadhg gave me the middle finger. “We can drop that one back,”

“You have issues,” Gibsie accused, sounding horrified. “You have serious fucking issues with taking things that aren’t yours. You’re like a kleptomaniac but with humans!”

The moment he stepped into the room, the atmosphere changed and the boys seemed to go on high alert. Ollie and Tadhg both took a step toward me, with Tadhg shifting Ollie behind him. Sean turned in to my chest and wrapped his little arms around my neck, clinging to me.

Men, I realized. They were fucking terrified of grown men.

Giving up on getting their attention, he moved around the island, stopping at my father’s legs. I watched as he seemed to hesitate before reaching up and tugging on the leg of his pants. Wordlessly, my father reached down and lifted him onto his lap, not making a big deal of it, as he set his plate of cake in front of Sean. Diving for the cake, Sean started to shove it into his mouth, sitting contently on my father’s lap as he ate. Ollie and Tadhg turned to watch their little brother, both eyeing my father with wary curiosity.

“I stole your brothers, baby!” he blurted out and then froze. “Sorry,” he squeezed out. “I love you.” Grimacing like he was in physical pain, he added, “Please don’t break up with me.”

“I love you,” I whispered between kisses, over and over again, as emotions I’d never felt in my life battered through me—all for, because of, and directed toward this girl. “I love you so much, Shannon like the river.”

but I had to keep my promise.” I stared at him in confusion. “What promise?” “I told you when we slept together, we would sleep together,” he said gruffly. “And I know I made a balls of the first part.” With a vulnerable look in his eyes, Johnny shrugged and gestured to my tiny bed. “But do you think you can fit me in for the second part?”

“I’ve never done that before,” he admitted quietly. “Done what?” “Taken anyone’s virginity.” He exhaled a heavy sigh and the vibration from his chest rippled through me. “I was so scared of hurting you, Shan.” “So, I’m your first first?” I asked sleepily. “You’re my everything.”

“Je veux lécher la chatte de ma copine.” I frowned. “What?” Johnny grinned devilishly. “I said, je veux être à l’intérieur de toi.”

“I didn’t steal your boyfriend,” I shot back, shaking from head to toe. “Because Johnny was never yours.” Bella arched a finely plucked brow. “And you think he’s yours?” “Yeah,” I replied, shocking myself with my words. “He is.”

“Go away and find some water to drown in, Gibs,” Cormac shot back, glaring at Gibsie. “Like the rest of your—” “Back the fuck off!” both Johnny and Hughie roared in unison. Meanwhile, Gibsie remained rigid and silent. “Don’t even think about going there,” Johnny snarled, wholly enraged. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I love that girl. Like, I really fucking love her, and I can’t cope with knowing she’s in that house right now. I lose sleep worrying about her.”

“They would have burned to death inside that house if you hadn’t been the crazy, reckless, brilliant man you are,” he continued. “They wouldn’t have had a chance in hell of getting out of there, son. Sean was doused in alcohol. You saved them all, Johnny. They were in their beds, son. They were terrified of him. There was no way those kids would have left their rooms if you hadn’t gone in there to get them.” Dad shuddered before adding, “And what you said about slipping on the staircase and the landing and hallway when you were inside the house? That was alcohol and petrol, Johnny. One spark of a flame and it was all over for those children—the entire place would have ignited with all of you in there—but you kept your head and you got them out.”

“Don’t,” I choked out, taking her hands in mine. “Don’t do that to yourself, baby.” I couldn’t take another second of watching her like this. “Please.” “Don’t touch me!” Trembling, Shannon yanked her hands away from mine, chest heaving. “D-don’t do it, okay?” “Okay.” Holding my hands up, I watched her watch me, feeling my heart crack clean open in my chest. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.”

“I walked out… I got pissed and left, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave them, so I came back, but the house was… And my mother… Fuck, Shannon…Tadhg! Nobody’s listening to me—” “I have them, Joey,” I snapped at him, desperate to get him to hear me. “I got them out.” “You have them—” His voice cracked. “You got them out?” I nodded, shaking. “Ollie, Tadhg, Sean, and Shannon.”

“They are safe.” Reaching over, I slung an arm around his shoulders. “And so are you.” “No.” He shook his head and I watched as a tear trickled down his cheek. “It was my job to keep her safe.”

“I hate you!” A small sob of pain tore from Tadhg’s throat, and then he was running, barreling against Joey, folding himself up in his big brother’s arms. “I fucking hate you,” Tadhg sobbed as he clung to Joey. “I hate you so much.” “I know.” Clenching his eyes shut, Joey held all three boys against him. “Me too.”

“Look at me—” Cupping Joey’s face in his hands, Darren pressed his forehead to Joey’s and exhaled a ragged breath. “You did more for her than anyone else.” “I didn’t do enough—” “You did,” Darren corrected, voice hoarse and raspy. “You are the reason they survived as long as they did. Not me or anyone else. Just you.”

When my eyes landed on the silver Ford Focus parking up outside, and the familiar blond head climbing out, I felt my body give out beneath me. “I’ve got you, Johnny,” Gibsie said, wrapping his arms around me just before I collapsed in a heap. “I’m right here, lad,” he whispered, lowering us both to the ground. “Let it out.” So I did.

“I know what it’s like, Johnny,” Gibsie barked. “I’ve been there, so I can tell you to stop. I have the right and the experience to tell you to get a fucking grip. You did what you could and you did a damn good job. Now enough. Stop torturing yourself. Dwelling won’t change what happened to her. All it’s going to change is what happens to you—present and future tenses.”

His hand shot out then, moving straight to her abdomen. “That’s it,” she encouraged, pulling his head onto her lap and cradling him there. “Come on back to me, baby.” Another pained noise tore from his throat and he buried his face in her abdomen, shaking violently. “It’s okay,” she whispered, leaning over his broad shoulders to hold him close. “You can’t scare me away.” Her blond hair pillowed around them as she whispered, “You’re mine, remember?”

“Hey, Johnny?” Tadhg called out, poking his head over the railing. “Yeah?” “Uh, thanks.” His cheeks reddened. “For this.” “You’re welcome.” “And, uh, for the other part, too,” he croaked out, brown eyes trained on mine. “The coming to get us part.” “Yeah.” I swallowed and nodded. “No problem.”

Shifting around so that my other arm was under her head, she nuzzled her cheek against my arm and inhaled a deep breath. “You smell like home.” Shivering, I curled my body around hers and pressed a kiss to the curve of her jaw. “You are home.”

“Because I’m so happy for you,” she half sobbed, half laughed. “You’re being rewarded for all of your hard work.” Sniffling, she cupped my face in her small hands and pressed her forehead to mine. “This is your time.” With her big blue eyes locked on mine, she urged, “Take this. It’s yours,” before pressing a hard kiss to my lips. “Take it and shine.” “I’m scared,” I whispered in her ear, not giving two damn shites that our friends were lurking around, eavesdropping. I needed to get this off my chest before I exploded. “I’m scared to take this and lose you.” “I’m yours, too,” she promised. “You can have both.”

“But I’ll be gone for a month,” I croaked out, heart hammering violently in my chest. “Maybe even a month and a half. Could be more. That’s a long time, Shan.” “And I’ll be here when you come home. If it’s in a month, or a month and a half, or two months, or four—” Sniffling, she gave me a bright smile. “I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

“What did I tell you about those exams?” she replied, setting a steamer filled with potatoes down in the sink and walking straight over to me. “It doesn’t matter what marks you get.” Cupping my face in her hands, she smiled down at me. “We won’t even have to open the results when they come because they don’t matter, pet. A score on a piece of paper tells me nothing, but you rising back up and returning to school to finish out the year and sit in that classroom tells everything about the wonderful, strong girl you are. And you make me prouder than any exam results could.”

“My Onny,” Sean announced then, holding a picture of two green circles up in his hands. “Sean and my Onny.” “Wow!” Mrs. Kavanagh gushed as she stood up to inspect Sean’s picture. “This one is the best you’ve done.” Sean beamed up at her. “My Onny.” “Yes, love.” Mrs. Kavanagh chuckled, taking the picture from Sean’s sticky fingers and hanging it up on the fridge. “He’s your Johnny.”

Mrs. Kavanagh continued. “Johnny was furious to leave Dublin and the city life behind him, but I knew I had to come back here. I wanted my son to grow up in the same place his father had. To be around the kind of goodness that just naturally seemed to ooze from his grandmother. I wanted to nourish those roots.” Smiling, she added, “That’s why we stayed in Cork, and because my son grew into the man he is today, I know I made the right decision.”

“Are you mad at me?” She laughed softly. “No, Shannon.” I blew out a shaky breath. “You won’t kick me out?” “Never,” she vowed, squeezing my hand. “This is your forever home—you and your brothers—and you’re going nowhere, okay? I’m just preventing something from happening—like the death of my son if he so much as contemplates putting his private parts near yours and making me a grandmother before I turn fifty.”

His forehead touched mine in a move so comforting and tender that I felt the bite of tears sting my eyes as my emotions threatened to rip through me. “Shite,” he groaned in an oddly helpless tone, sounding pained, as he held himself above me, taking his weight on one elbow while using his free hand to cup and stroke my cheek. “Are you sore?” Stilling inside of me, he whispered, “Am I hurting you?”