The Throne of Broken Gods (Gods & Monsters, #2)

by Amber V. Nicole

Her smile awoke something in me, and for the first time in a millennium, I felt the ice I’d encased my heart in crack. She gazed at me through those thick lashes, her hazel eyes filled with warmth as if I was worth something. She held a single small finger out, and I held my breath. What was wrong with me? “Pinky promise, I will never abandon you, Your Highness.”

More of those odd words of hers, but they meant something to me. Everyone I held dear had left me. I’d lost them and secluded myself, yet this creature… no, this woman, promised me something I had begged for. Such simple words, such a simple act, had fractured something in me and shifted my world. I stared at the empty night sky, watching her dark wings beat across the sky, her sleek form disappearing into the roiling clouds. Away from me. “You promised,” I whispered as the sirens continued to wail.

Liam was a shield I hid behind as if I could pretend to be anything other than the World Ender. Liam was my attempt at a new start, even if it was a broken one. And Liam cost me everything. If I had been the king I was meant to be, been the protector the old gods built monuments to, maybe I could have saved her, helped her more. So, no, Samkiel was who I was, who I would forever be, and Liam died with whatever part of Dianna’s heart fractured that night.

“Us.” She snorted. “Us? There is no us.” She waved her hand, her palm facing me. “The mark is gone. We don’t work together anymore. Remember?” “Is that all I was to you? Work?” “Listen, it was fun. We messed around, but it doesn’t have to be a thing. You know, I thought, given your history, you would understand?” “My history?” “You’ve had flings before. Remember? I’ve seen them.” She tapped a finger against her temple, smiling slightly.

“Also, going back to Samkiel, huh? Giving up on the whole Liam thing? Makes sense, I guess. Eventually, we get tired of pretending to be something we aren’t. I mean, I did.”

“No, I don’t believe you and never will. You showed me who you were months ago. I remember every second of every day. You helped me and cared for me when you didn’t have to. You risked your life for everyone. I may wear armor to war, but this is your version. You’re locking everything away to protect yourself, suppressing it, but I know without a doubt that my Dianna is still in there.”

“There’s one dead body. You get in my way, and I have no problem adding another. I will have my vengeance. They knew the price of touching her, and if you get in my way, you will too. Turn a blind eye, Samkiel. This isn’t about you.”

“When I burn this world to embers, and you paint me as the villain, remember, I really did try to be good… once.”

“Oh, Dianna, you can’t hide your heart even when you are fully gone. Kaden knew that too. Why do you think he acted so rashly?” I was right. I had been right when I first saw them together. Kaden had seen it, and that was the true problem. Her reaction, while minuscule, was only further proof. “Where is Samkiel, by the way?”

I took a deep breath and blurted, “I have her body.” The room stilled. “I took it after it happened. They left as soon as they heard your cry. I think every Otherworld creature heard it. Even from miles away, we felt it. Power rippled through the world when you screamed, even if you didn’t realize it.”

“You know, I thought about it. Maybe it would have been better if we had died in Eoria. I should have just stayed with you there instead of begging whatever god that would listen to save you. Then, Drake wouldn’t have found us, and we wouldn’t have ended up before Kaden.”

Mer-Ka was my birth name. Ain was Gabby’s, and Eoria was the home where we knew peace so long ago.

Maybe one day, if your intentions change, she will tell you. Or maybe she won’t. All I’m saying is that anyone would be lucky to be cared for by my sister. I never gave up on her, and if you guys are going to be partners in this whole mission, maybe don’t give up on each other.”

As I lowered the jacket, I noticed a tiny white and gray strip poking from one of the pockets. My chest tightened as I pulled the narrow piece of paper out and gazed at the images. Dianna laughed in one, smiled in another, and scowled at me in the last. But the middle one was my favorite. She gripped my face, turning me toward the camera.

My heart ached. I was so afraid I would never see her laugh or smile again. I had not realized how deeply my feelings for her had grown over the months we spent together. How utterly attached I had become to my fiery temptress. I had not realized it until it was too late, and she had already left, taking a part of me with her. My head spun as thick, blinding rage swept over me, eclipsing the sadness. They did this. They took her happiness away, and they would pay greatly for it.

“Was it worth it? Do you sleep well knowing what you destroyed?” I asked, my eyes boring into Drake’s as I stood over him. The sweater, slacks, and scuffed shoes he wore were not the overpriced items he usually sported. The once flamboyant, gleeful prince seemed a shell of the man who had flirted, laughed, and joked with my Dianna. No, he seemed almost broken. His eyes, bloodshot and empty, stared at me. Ethan cut in, interjecting as I continued to stare at Drake. “I did what I had to for the one I love. For my family. I would think you’d understand?” “She hid you and your family from Kaden, and in return, you took hers!” I bellowed, the lights in the room flickering in response. “You let him take Gabriella. You stood by and allowed him to murder the last living member of her family, and you think I would understand that? Do you really think you can justify what you have done? I hope you enjoyed your short time together because, by my power, none of you will see the other again.”

“You know we have a name in our world for what you are,” I said, speaking over Ethan, my eyes opening. “There is no translation in your language, but it means the lowest of men. You are cowards. Traitors. I’ve met skinless grizzly beasts who fight harder than you two have. You’re even less than the shit rodents leave behind. You claim to love and care for her, yet you let him have and take the one person she loved.” I paused, trying to rein in the thundering in my chest and the clouds growing outside. I took a breath, shaking my head as I studied them. “You have taken someone from me with your actions—someone very precious to me. And now you have helped a lunatic corrupt her already damaged heart, shattering it into a million pieces. They are pieces I will pick up and fix, but what you have done is unforgivable. I plan to make you suffer for that transgression. Death would be a kindness, and you deserve none.”

“Look, I know how you feel. I get it. I know you love her. Kaden knows it too. Why do you think he did what he did?” Ethan said, his voice filled with desperation. I narrowed my eyes at him. Every word he spoke just added fuel to my rage. “He will keep her away from you if it’s the last thing he does. You’re too strong together, too powerful for what he has planned, what they have planned. If she’d stayed with you, it would have messed up everything. You two were never supposed to meet,” Ethan said, struggling against the grip of the celestials.

I knew two things with absolute certainty. First, when she came out to fight, she wore her hair back from her face as she did now, her long ponytail swinging behind her. Second, this cruel creature wasn’t my Dianna.

Years of war had steeled my stomach to gruesome atrocities, but seeing her so casually holding the head of Ethan’s wife in her palm had my gut twisting.

“It doesn’t have to be.” “Doesn’t it? Doesn’t this remind you of the first time we met? When I snuck into the guild. Did you know I wasn’t even supposed to be at that meeting? I was supposed to look for the book with Alistair and Tobias while you all attended downstairs. But I couldn’t help it. I wanted to protect her so badly that I strapped a dagger to my thigh and went in. As soon as I stepped foot in that building, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t even have to look for you. I could feel you through the walls.”

“I’m sorry. I really am, Dianna.” Drake winced. “Yeah?” I wrenched his head back, forcing him to look at me. “I’m sorry too. Sorry I ever trusted you, believed you, helped you. I’m sorry I ever followed you in that damn desert. I am sorry for my gullibility in thinking you were an angel sent to save us. Most of all, I’m sorry I ever thought I had a real friend.”

“I thought the dress was a good idea. I just wanted to see if he looks at her like Kaden does?” “And how is that?” “Like a prize to be won, a slab of meat.” Ethan exhaled a stream of smoke before tapping his cigar on the ashtray in front of him. “And how does the World Ender look at her, Brother?” “Like I looked at Seraphine all those years ago, and how you look at Naomi.” Ethan met my stare. “As if the world doesn’t exist without her.” Ethan’s eyes darted from mine. “I hope for the sake of the world you are right.”

I leaned my head back, the memory fading. I had drained almost all the blood from Drake, and I didn’t care. He’d led her to Kaden. To see it, to feel what he felt, and to know he didn’t even try to stop it. He hadn’t hesitated or even thought about changing his mind, and it broke any connection or care that might have remained. The sliver of my heart I had left was in tatters. I had no real friends. I never did, and because of him, I had no family either. The final connection snapped, and every emotion inside me seemed to die.

I strode around one corner and then the next, hoping to find her before she killed him. I couldn’t let her, but not for the reasons she thought. A part of me worried that if she did, I’d lose her forever.

The rings on my hands vibrated, sensing a growing threat. But it wasn’t a threat. It was Dianna. My Dianna.

“I called to check in on the others, but Gabby answered. She spoke of a time similar to this. How when you first changed, it was easy to pretend you were something you were not because of the guilt you felt. She also told me she never gave up on you. I will not give up on you either.” “You’re not her,” she growled, holding Drake a fraction tighter. I held that brutal, chaotic gaze steadily. “Of course not. The way I care for you is vastly different. The lengths I will go to for you are unfathomable. I refuse to let you hurt yourself, no matter how vile or mean you are to me. I know you’re in pain. You are mourning, and someone like you will grieve just as hard and deeply as you love.”

“I can’t lose her.” My voice broke this time. “You won’t.” I glanced up at him. “What do you mean?” “I saw it when she first stepped out of the forest, a flicker in her eyes as if a part of her tried to crawl to the surface for you. I thought Gabby was the last tether, but you are. You are her only link to whatever mortality she has left. So don’t let Kaden win, no matter what she says or does. Trust me. You are the only thing she cares about now.”

“Dianna is stronger now. Every Otherworld creature felt it when Gabby died. The world shifted, but she is still Dianna. She is still the girl I saved in the desert who cared so much about others that she followed a stranger into a terrible world. She is still the girl who likes flowers and pretty gifts from overbearing god kings. She is sweet, kind, funny, and loves with her entire being. That’s why she is like this. She’s hurt. She’s in pain. If you love her, truly love her, don’t give up. True love is worth it. It’s worth fighting for. Remember that.”

“Kaden released the ones responsible with no protection. He wants her to kill, to feed until she is no more, and then I feel his hope is she will have no one to turn to but him—another sick way to have her back. He is hoping I will be the king of legends. The slayer of monsters and beasts, protector of realms and worlds, but she is my…” I stopped, unable to say the words. “I know.”

“Webster is in pieces. Do you want to know what he tasted like?” My form melted, the black smoke drifting away as the cloak of Webster disappeared, leaving only me. “Devil,” he whispered, and to him, maybe I did look like the demons from his legends. I wore a red pantsuit with a matching jacket and heels, my hands covered in my own blood. “Actually, it’s Dianna.”

While Dianna knew of my previous history with Imogen, her presence might still ignite Dianna’s jealousy, making her even more volatile. I did not wish to test that theory just yet. If I summoned the rest of The Hand, it might push her further over the edge. It would also solidify the one thing I did not wish to be true. If The Hand were here, then I’d lost her forever.

“Oh man, you are so fucked. Do you really think Kaden, of all creatures, will let you have her? Let anyone truly have her? She is the first and only one he has ever made. He isn’t letting her go.” Santiago grunted, the pressure of my power grinding against him. I knew that. Everyone knew that. Kaden had proven he would do anything to keep her, including dragging her back in pieces if he had to.

“I had not summoned it since Rashearim fell, not until her. Do you know why? Because there are no boundaries I will not cross if it means keeping her safe, especially after everything you all have taken from her. It is the highest law not to touch anyone in my court or what I consider mine. That act alone is punishable by death, and she is mine. It will be your end.” “Well, from what I’ve heard, I don’t think she knows that.”

“I dislike being apart from you this long,” I called to her. Her head snapped toward me, those crimson eyes shifting for a split second, and I swore I saw a hint of hazel. Joy sparked through me that my words had some effect on her, even if it was fleeting. It hinted at a chance, a small sliver of hope. Her eyes stayed on me this time, but she still did not speak, the rain and wind building to a tumult around us.

“I’m glad. I left them as a parting gift,” she called back with another tip of her chin. “Another way to tell you that the girl you’re so desperate to save is long gone, and she is not coming back.” I smirked, ignoring her blatant attempt to push me further away, even as it ripped at my heart. I had another plan. “I will admit, I enjoy the fact you thought of me while you were with others,” I called over the raging storm. “Did it help you come, or are you still deprived, my Dianna?”

“Are you still having issues, lover? Not sleeping?” She glanced at me as the air continued to rumble. “I’ll be honest with you if you will be with me.” “Honesty?” “Yes. Honestly, you helped more than you know, and I plan to do the same for you. No matter what words you toss at me or taunts you know affect me. I refuse to let you continue down this destructive path, Dianna.”

I could see how losing Gabriella, how the blood she had consumed, had changed her, but to me, she was still my sweet, protective, caring, fiery Dianna.

You were to keep my sister safe, and you failed even in that. I should have left the second I had the chance. Anyone smart would have. Now she is dead because of you just as much as me because we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Kaden killed her because of you, because of me. Once again, I was reminded that I am not a normal girl with a crush on a normal boy who gave her flowers and told her she was pretty. I was stupid to think I could have even a semblance of normalcy in my life. I was weak and pathetic and didn’t realize that normal died the second I did in that fucking burning desert. And honestly? I’ll never be her again.”

“You’re wrong, Dianna. You are trying to convince yourself, but you know I would have done anything for you and your sister. Blaming yourself and me will not bring her back.” My heart sank as she turned ever so slightly, her eyes glowing a shade brighter. “I still care about you. Need you. Want you. I always will.” “Well then, I guess that’s a problem because I don’t care about you. Not when the cost of it took everything from me.” Her lips pursed into a thin line. “You’re not worth it.”

“I am a creature born of chaos, born to destroy you.” She lifted her blade, pointing it at me. “You are the protector of all twelve realms and every dimension in between. Shall we be what we were always destined to be, lover?”

“Why can I not feel you anymore?” My brows furrowed, and I heard Santiago gulp behind me. Her eyes connected with mine. She shrugged, pushing off the wall and twirling the sword in her hand, just like I had taught her. “It’s a secret, and we’re not best friends anymore.”

“Look at that. Gods do know how to bow.” “If you wanted me on my knees, Dianna, all you had to do was ask. You know that.” “Tempting.” She rocked the blade under my chin, forcing my head back. “You should grow the scruff back, though. I like the way it tickles.” “Whatever you want.” Her smile was all fangs and cold brutality. “Whatever I want?” “Always.” “I do want something from you.” She leaned a fraction closer, the tip of her blade pressing into my neck. “I need you to bleed.”

“You know what I know? We are on opposite sides. We always have been. I would have killed Zekiel. Did you forget that? Did you forget that the only reason I even worked for you was because of my sister? Because you had something I needed, and I had something you needed. So, we made a trade.” Lie! Hurt him! The beast screamed. Make him leave. Pain flashed through his dark gray eyes. “Don’t do that. Don’t trivialize it.”

“You don’t think I know what this is? You let Kaden get into that beautiful head far too easily. Let his words twist what we both know is untrue. I would never hurt you or abandon you, Dianna. What happened to everything we said? What happened to your burdens becoming mine? I know you are in more pain than anyone should have to bear. Let me help shoulder some of this weight for you.”

He offered me a place to lay it all down. He offered to help me carry this burden, and I hated him even more for it. I could bend my shape, transform into terrible beasts, and breathe fire. I had super strength, but I wasn’t strong when it came to him and my feelings. Not by a long shot. As much as I fought it, I knew he was right. A part of me behind a locked door of chains and steel ached for it, begging me to lay this at his feet and rest. But that part of me had to die.

“Let Logan know that if he leaves once more without a team, he will find himself sitting in a holding cell for weeks.” “Yes, sir.” I heard a soft chuckle, followed by the elevator door sliding closed. I meant every word. I would not lose another person who meant something to me.

I looked up at the night sky. Every star here looked like a dull mockery of what I knew existed. I sighed and did the one thing I had not done in so very long. I spoke to the old gods. “I know when souls pass, even I cannot reach them. It is forbidden, but please, I beg you, if Gabriella is there, if she can hear me, let her help me. Give me a sign that I am at least on the right path.” I watched the sky, searching for any sign. I shook my head, realizing how idiotic this was. She could not reach out or hear me. I leaned back right as a star far off on my right twinkled. I turned toward it. It was located high above the others but a shade brighter. How had I not noticed it before?

“You may not have been as we are, Gabriella, but if you managed to help her before, it makes you stronger than even I. I’m scared I won’t reach her in time, absolutely terrified, and I’ve fought and have seen things that would make others pray for death.” The star did not so much as even flicker. Of course not. I blew a breath out and looked at the photos in my hand. “But I promise I won’t let her lose herself any further. Nor will I give up on her. You wouldn’t.”

I turned from the balcony, heading inside. As I lay down and tried to force myself to rest, I could have sworn that same star sparkled brighter than those around it. Then again, maybe I was just losing my mind, searching for si...