Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

by Kerry Patterson

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

Nevertheless, the underlying cause was the unwillingness or inability to speak up at crucial moments.

As the Pool of Shared Meaning grows, it helps people in two ways. First, as individuals are exposed to more accurate and relevant information, they make better choices. In a very real sense, the Pool of Shared Meaning is a measure of a group’s IQ. The larger the shared pool, the smarter the decisions. And even though many people may be involved in a choice, when people openly and freely share ideas, the increased time investment is more than offset by the quality of the decision.

Since their ideas remain in their heads and their opinions never make it into the pool, they end up quietly criticizing and passively resisting.