Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate
“[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time.”
—from the Foreword by Stephen R. Cov
A 'crucial conversation' is one that
1) opinions vary
2) stakes are high
3) parties involved have strong emotions.
Sound familiar? What we have at Goodreads is a Crucial Conversation.
Ways you don't succeed in a crucial conversation:
1) Allowing your emotion to dictate your dialogue. Specifically, an emotional need to "win" or be "right."
2) Believe the answer is the "fool's choice" of a yes/no, right/left solution.
Ringing any bells? I can't state what the emotions of GR staff are right ...more
The book is a jumbled up mess in the writing. It bounces from one example to the next, explains half a concept, jumps to another example, explains another part of a concept, and the might (or might not) get back to the original example. My guess is because it seems to have no less than 75 authors. Too many c ...more
• This is going to be cheesy
• I don’t have any issues, so I won’t need this
• This book will just waste my time
• Etc., etc., etc.
However, I can confidently say that Crucial Conversations will help direct the reader toward successful and meaningful conversations at both work and in your daily life.
Do you freque ...more
That said, I believe there are useful tools in the book (some exercises are similar to Cognitive-Beh ...more
- the book had some pretty good advice, really not much I could have argued with
- it was indeed quite specific, and described real conversational tools, as stated in the title
- it had lots of examples
- it's pretty short and easy to read
So in a sense, I recommend it.
1) too much self-promo. Five times or so throughout the book they mentioned some super-exclusive very interesting content that's available at this link. Of course, I went there to check it out. Surprise, surprise, I ha ...more
This book is not an easy read like Leadership and Self-Deception, Who Moved My Cheese, or The Myth of Multitasking. It is however worth reading because it has many gems and pearls of wisdom along the way.
A few of them I already knew:
Remember, to know and not do is really not to know. – p. xvi
“He that complies against his will is of his own opinion s ...more
NOTE: I haven't actually re-read it since I first got it, so this is a review of impact and conten ...more
One of the major problems that has plagued me all my life was becoming too emotional when things were important to me. This book has helped me recognize that I was getting upset and helped me deal with my emotions so I could come back to the conversations from a calmer place.
The book is written in simple language with lots of repetition and stories to make it easy to read and understand. The authors also use a lot of acronyms ...more
What do I want for myself?
What do I want f ...more
worse - these disagreements seemed to be the norm rather than an exception. I, quietl ...more
Then I remembered a comment one of the author’s made in their acknowledgements section and decided that much more succinctly summed up this book’s many problems: namely, how many people came up to him and told him they own this book but have never read it.
That right there tells you how this book became a bestseller – bec ...more
The premise of this book is simple: Each of us, in all relationships in and outside of work that we conduct, face situations in which there is considerable gravitas attached to the outcome. Often, we behave less than we’re capable of in these circumstances, to unpleasant result. These are critical conversations, and there’s a certain skill to conducting them well.
The timin ...more
Avoidance isn’t inherently bad, as it can give me time to work out problems or calm down before saying something out of place, but it can be exhausting, as I’ll mull things over without trying to solve the problem.
This once got me in trouble with substance abuse because I was trying to avoid reality. Now that I can identify the avoidant part of my personality, I can start trying to make it work be ...more
However, I think it doesn't really live up to the bit about "when stakes are high." For example, when it gets to sexual harassment in the workplace it uses an anecdote about a man who puts his hand on coworkers' chairs and this makes a woman uncomfortable and so she tells him and he stops. That's great, but the book suggests that if it's more se ...more
I liked that the book is easily digestible. Each chapter can be read in about 10-15 minutes, with summaries at the end. The concluding chapter wraps up all concepts very nicely with a table that summarizes all the principles, skills and questions to ask that were introduced throughout the book. ...more
What makes this book wonderful is that tells you to change your Inner Game to be able to practice it. The tools the authors propose are not "fake-smile" type add-ons, but require a ...more
Here are some lines that I enjoyed:
- "It is an amazing but true thing that practically the only people who ever say mean, insulting, wounding things to us are those of our own households. "
- "Others don't make you mad, you make you mad. you make you scared, annoyed or insulted. You and only you create your emotions. "
- "It's important to get in touch with your feelings, and to do so, you may want to expand your emotional vocabulary."
- " When it c ...more
Get to the point already! ...more
Crucial is written in a very familiar business non-fiction style: two shades more friendly than an academic textbook, but sti ...more
The book thoughtfully covers what makes conversations crucial, and discusses the nature of dialog, what gets in the way of dialog, and how to overcome those challenges.
One caution: I read most books in audio, and this book so captivated me that when I started it in audio, I finished that ...more
I'd recommend this book for the content alone, but be prepared to skim sections once you have an understanding of the principles. ...more
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