In the Gray

by B.B. Reid

Initially, I’d only been trying to get her to bust it open for me, but then she tried to kill me and everything changed. I couldn’t stop replaying how she looked standing on that table, full of jealous rage, and wielding a golf club meant to end me. It was the moment that I knew claiming her body wouldn’t be enough—would never be enough. I needed it all—her mind, heart, body…her fucking soul. Fuck.

I’d broken into someone’s house in the middle of the night, it wasn’t to snoop. “I’m sorry to disturb you.” “Oh, that’s all right.” Atlas’s mom waved me off. “As long as you forgive my appearance. I would have worn my best pajamas, but I didn’t know I’d be having company.”

I gaped at Atlas’s mom when she trembled violently. I was no doctor, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t hunger causing her body to convulse. “You’re sick,” I accused, never one to beat around the bush. For the first time, Kareena avoided my gaze. I sucked in a breath. “Does Atlas know?”

I told myself that Atlas was better off if she hated me, but really, I was just afraid of what was happening between us. I’d never come this close to falling in love before. And I’d done fuck all to show it.

You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.” I hesitated before saying, “My mom…uhh…I went through something similar when I was Atlas’s age, and even though it was my fault she shut me out, it killed me that I couldn’t be there for her.” It’s been a minute since my mom’s accident, and I still didn’t like talking about it.

“But I know my daughter,” Kareena continued. “She’s strong. Stubborn and a little impulsive, but she knows her own mind. If anyone is biting off more than they can chew, it’s you, baby.” “I wouldn’t have her any other way,” I said with a wide grin.

Kareena frowned, and I searched her features for signs of Atlas but found none. Atlas must have taken after her father. I tried to recall his face from the photos around the house, but then Kareena said, “Let you what?”

“Goddamn, it finally happened. You found her, didn’t you?” “Found who?” “A woman who sees your potential and possesses the fortitude to help you reach it.” I scratched the back of my neck. “Something like that.”

“I don’t know about all that. She’s a little young, but I wouldn’t say I’m old enough to be her father. I had to be like fifteen or sixteen when she was born.” “You were fucking at sixteen, weren’t you?” he snapped. I sighed and slouched a little in my seat, already seeing where he was going with this. “Yes, sir.”

“Umm…yeah. Hypothetically, if I wanted to waste my time romancing her with flowers and dinner just to fuck, where would I take her?”

I couldn’t really explain my need to punish anyone who crossed Dream, but I was going to defend her honor nonetheless. After meeting her mother, I knew Atlas believed she didn’t have anyone left in her corner.

“Late for what? I’m not going anywhere with you. Did you forget what happened the last time I was stupid enough to go anywhere with you?” “Yes, you are. No, I didn’t. And we’re going on a date.” She shook her head. “No, we’re not.” “Yes, we are.” “No.” “Yes.” “No!” She stomped her foot and pouted. “You can get dressed or go like that, Dream. I really don’t give a fuck, but I know you’ll feel responsible and probably cry if I murk every man who looks at you in that towel.”

Our reservation was in an hour, and apparently, they were impossible to get, so I plucked her toothbrush from the holder and grabbed the jar of edge control sitting next to it. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing as I dipped her toothbrush in the gel and brought it to her hairline.

I was standing to go when I caught her gaze darting from me to the roses I’d forgotten all about. Her dark eyes lingered there before guiltily returning to me, and I watched her bite her lip when she caught me watching her. “Are those…are you those for me?” I wordlessly nodded, and she hesitated for a moment before walking over to them. I watched her lift them to her nose and sniff before smiling. “They’re beautiful, Owen. Thank you.”

I kissed her nape when I was done and brought my lips to her ear. “This is all I want you wearing later when I eat your pussy.” Her breath rushed out of her like she wanted that too, but when she turned to face me, her gaze was stern. “That’s not happening, Owen. It can’t. I’m only agreeing to dinner.”

“How did you get a key to the room?” “I took the shit. Fuck you mean?” I looked back in time to see her shaking her head as if I cared about her disapproval.

I took her hand and led her to the car, where I held the door open for her and helped her fine ass in. “Hey,” I said as I dropped to my haunches so that we were at eye level. She tucked a loc behind her ear and blushed. “Yes, Owen?” “Thank you for having dinner with me. You look beautiful.” Her lips parted in shock, and I grinned as I stood and closed her door.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked as soon as Rowdy was done perusing the menu. He side-eyed me before saying, “Keep it brief.” I rolled my eyes. “I was just wondering how you knew about this place.” When he stared at me this time, it was an effort not to fidget under his assessing gaze. “Nah, be real with me, Atlas. That’s not what you wanted to ask me. You wanted to know if I’ve brought other women here before.”

You’re not just the first girl I’ve brought here. You’re the first girl I’ve taken on a date. I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing. This shit is new to me, but I was hoping we could have a chill night, get to know each other, and figure it out together. Is that cool with you?”

“I’d miss you,” he told me. “And if you left, I’d follow you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than on your bumper, Dream.” “What if I died?” I threw out jokingly to lighten the heavy mood. Rowdy didn’t crack a smile as he held my gaze. “Even then.”

“I’m not sick.” I no longer had to wonder if he cared when I felt his chest cave with relief. “I guess Tyler and Kareena decided a one in four chance of their kids inheriting the gene was too risky for them to procreate.” Rowdy’s brows dipped in confusion again as he tried to decipher my meaning, so I decided to put him out of misery. “I’m adopted, Owen.”

The words she’d whispered back to me had delivered the final blow that shattered the illusion that she’d ever loved me. Mama, please talk to me. So much is happening, and I need you. You can’t just disappear. I need you. I’m still here. Please. I know you are, Atlas, and that’s the problem. I thought it would be enough. I told Rowdy about that too.

“Whatever the truth is, Atlas, know that she was wrong. You are enough. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.” “I’ll try.” “Nah, I don’t need you to try. I need you to know it, and then tell me if anyone else says that bullshit to you so I can shoot them. I’ll give your mom a pass because I know she loves you, but everyone else can get this work.”

“Your ass better not tell anyone I be out here drinking cocktails and shit,” he said after taking a second sip. “I won’t,” I promised with a giggle. We took turns sipping my drink until it was gone, and then I asked him if he could order another cocktail. This time I wanted to try the Blueberry Surprise.

When Felicia returned, I ordered one to go, and Rowdy asked for the check. She returned minutes later with my cheesecake and the bill. “Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked Rowdy with a wink. “No,” I answered before he could. I watched her irritated gaze shift to me. “I can take care of his needs from here. Thank you. Bye.”

“First, you can keep this shit.” His ignorant ass crumpled up the bill and threw it at her forehead, where it bounced off and landed at her feet. “Even if I wanted to disrespect my girl and my dick by sticking it in you, I wouldn’t need your number to do it. Now, go get the manager with your unprofessional ass.”

“So, if I’m shallow, why did you agree to have dinner with me?” I shook my head. “I don’t think you’re shallow, Owen. I think the company you keep—the woman you choose to fuck—are shallow, and it’s made you a selfish, entitled, emotionally-stunted jerk.”

“I just don’t want to lose any more people.” He stood in front of me now, so he took the gun from my hands and secured it in the holster strapped to his ankle before rising to his full height again and taking my hips in his hands. “You won’t lose me. I’m hard to kill.”

“Where are we?” “My crib.” I sucked in a breath. “Well, then, why am I here?” “Because it’s late, and I’m tired as fuck. I haven’t slept in two days,” he said, making me wonder why, “and I’m not going to get much of it tonight if I spend it worrying about someone kicking in your door.” I twiddled my thumbs as I responded quietly, “I would have been fine at another motel.” “And you’ll be even safer with me, so come on.” He climbed out of the car, leaving me no chance to argue.

“But only for tonight.” Rowdy smirked at me before slamming the door closed behind me. Immediately, his scent, which was all over his home, enveloped me, and my muscles began to relax. That lasted until I heard the sound of the lock turning, and my belly sank. “If you say so,”

You’d think I’d kidnapped her the way she was acting all skittish. I guess I kind of had since that break-in had been one-hundred-percent staged.

From the moment she’d tried to kill me in a jealous rage three nights ago, I decided I was ready for a girlfriend, and I wanted that girl to be Dream. Fucked up, I know, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

“You should go to sleep,” she suggested quickly. I sat back, spread my legs, tossed my arm over the back of the couch, and got comfortable as I eyed her pretty ass. “I will if you come with me.” Dream gently shook her head and tried to look stern, but she just looked like she had to take a shit. “That’s not happening. I’ll take the couch.” She gave the soft cushions a loving pat. “Suit yourself.”

“Then what’s the problem, Dream? Are we not both consenting adults? You don’t need to make excuses for wanting this dick. Fuck what anyone else thinks. I want you just as bad—if not more—and unlike you, I’ve made that more than clear from jump.”

“And didn’t I promise to give you everything you needed?” Her head moved up and down in my hand when she nodded. There was a familiar spark in her eyes that said she was looking to get fucked. “So what’s good, Atlas?” My thumb stroked her teeth. “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to suck your dick.”

Eventually, the tip of my dick reached the back of her throat, and my hands flew to her head as I felt my nut rising and forced it back down. I wanted nothing more than to come in her mouth, but not yet. Not yet. The feeling of her lips around me was too fucking good to give up so soon.

I almost did it. For a split second, I almost said fuck the condom. I wanted to make that pussy mine in every way. I wanted to come inside her, write my name on her walls, and get her pregnant with my baby. I wanted to trap her ass so that she’d have no choice but to be with me.

“That’s not what I mean,” she whispered, only to gasp when my dick found her entrance and began to push inside. “After my dad and my mom and…everything else, there’s not much of me left to give.” She paused at the same time I did. “Please don’t break what’s left,” she added when I didn’t move or speak. “Please.”

Fuck. I hated making promises I couldn’t keep, but something in my chest was pulling me to do just that. “I’m not going anywhere,” I heard myself say. “And neither are you.”

My muscles were straining from the control it took to hold back. I didn’t want her to miss a moment or forget how good it felt to have me inside her. I wanted her to crave it—to be addicted to the idea of us.

“The first round was for you,” I told her as soon as her eyes cracked open the tiniest bit. “This next one is for me.”

There was nowhere for me to go. Nothing for me to do but take the brutal strokes. The sound of our skin clapping echoed around the room as Rowdy pounded my pussy and had me questioning my sanity in letting his crazy ass fuck me.

It was mindless. Primal. So fucking good. I didn’t care if fucking my boss—a man nearly twice my age—was right or wrong. I didn’t care about the unknown ties that connected us. I didn’t care about betrayal or grief. I felt only him. My body seized, and with a startled cry, I came so hard Rowdy hissed when my walls tightened around his dick to keep him inside.

I had this crazy thought as I lay there—this momentary lapse in judgment when I wished there was no barrier between us, and it had been me he came inside. I wasn’t even on birth control.

“Atlas.” He kissed my shoulder, distracting me from my rising panic. “Yeah?” “What we did,” he said, slipping his hand between my thighs and cupping my pussy as if his monster dick still lodged inside me wasn’t possession enough, “I don’t want you to do this with anyone else.”

“Are you saying you want me to be your girlfriend?” “I’m not sure we’re there yet,” he answered carefully, “but if you fuck someone else, Atlas, we’ll never be.”

“And while I’m carving your name on my pussy, how many women will I be sharing your dick with?”

“We’re not in a relationship yet,” he mumbled, picking up where I’d left the conversation and finally putting me out of my misery. I looked over my shoulder in time to see him squirt some of my body wash on my sponge. I swear to God it should have been in a porn commercial for soap. “But we’re moving in that direction. I think this is what corny fucks like you call dating.” Rowdy kissed the top of my head and gently began soaping my back. “Or am I wrong?”

“But if I can’t fuck anyone else, you can’t either.” Rowdy smirked as he stared down at me and slapped my ass so hard I inhaled sharply from the sting of his wet hand. “What’s understood doesn’t need to be explained. After the way you just put that pussy on me, I don’t want to fuck anyone else. Believe that shit.”

“Don’t start no shit that I’ll have to finish, Atlas.” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sudden sound of his groggy warning. He must not have been sleeping as deeply as I had thought. “If I wake up, you’re sucking my dick.” I giggled while shaking my head. He could be so damn ignorant. “You’re already awake, silly.”