In the Gray

by B.B. Reid

Tears clouded my vision, and I filled my lungs with the fresh night air as I blinked them free until the tall blurry figure standing over me became clear, and I was staring into the familiar face of my would-be murderer. It wasn’t Ky or his crew. It was Rowdy. “You want to get out, or you want to stay in there?” he casually inquired like I wasn’t tied up in his trunk—as if it wasn’t him who’d put me there. “I don’t have all night, beautiful.”

My belly sank as I took in the dimly lit parking lot and rundown motel a few feet away. Hooker’s Cove. Rowdy had driven me home. I whipped around to face him again. A sneer on my lips. “You couldn’t have just offered me a ride like a normal fucking person?”

Right now, there was no emotion on his face to guide me as he stared blankly down at me. “Would you have come if I had?” No.

“I would never do that. If it ever came to it, I’d walk away before I ever raised a hand to you.” “That’s your problem, Owen. You think physical pain is the only hurt there is. It’s not even the kind that cuts deepest. You’d know that if you knew how to care for anyone but yourself.”

“All right,” he said lowly when the silence became too heavy. “I’ll give you that, Atlas. Just let me help you.” “No. I don’t want anything from you.” “Too bad. I’m not leaving you like this, and that’s not up for fucking discussion. You think I’m bad? Look at where you are.” All trace of the remorse he’d felt was gone as he basically demanded I let him clean up his mess.

“I’m not good at this, Atlas. I can count on one hand how many times in my life I’ve apologized, but I can’t let you walk away without knowing that I would never hurt you.”

“Yes, pretty baby. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.” Somehow, I believed him, even after all the reasons he’d given me tonight not to.

“My father wasn’t a religious man, but there was a scripture he’d heard once that stuck with him. Above all else, guard your heart,” I recited to Rowdy’s bent head. I could have sworn he stiffened as if he knew what I’d say next. “For everything you do flows from it.”

“You demand things from me I’m not ready to give, but you’re so good at making me want them too—so much sometimes that nothing else matters. But then…then you make me feel like a fool for feeling that way, and I’m lost all over again. I know what I said before, but I lied, Owen. I don’t think I can give you my body without giving you my heart too.” Rowdy was still as if bracing himself for what I would say next. “But you said it yourself. You’re not interested in that part of me, and I couldn’t trust you with it even if you were.”

The man she’d taken a deeper look at and found lacking. The man she’d rightly decided wasn’t good enough for her.

I knew it wouldn’t change a thing, but it fucked me up to think I might have broken her when a week ago, it was all I wanted.

Against my will, I turned around to face her. This was not the time to reveal I’d been stalking her pretty ass every chance I got. Some nights I even slept in the room next to hers just to make sure no one fucked with her. “Allow me to repeat myself. This is my city,” I stated arrogantly instead. “There’s not much I don’t know.”

Several responses filed through my head before I decided Atlas couldn’t have it both ways. She couldn’t run me off and keep me on a leash at the same time. “What are you asking me?” I played dumb. “If I went home and fucked her after leaving you last night?”

“I just need to know if I actually mattered to you or if I was just a challenge.” “You were starting to.” My confession floated in the air between us before dangling over our heads like a sharp ax that would strike at the first wrong move. “I didn’t fuck Savannah last night. She tried to give me head, but I wasn’t feeling the situation, so I dropped her ass off on the curb and left her there to find you.”

I currently had three open tickets and Donny’s Caddy to finish customizing, but I still found myself in the lobby, leaning against the snack bar and not even bothering to pretend I wasn’t watching Atlas.

This girl had me in a chokehold and the longer I went without air, the less I needed it. I only wanted to be near her, whatever it cost me.

“This is Naomi Irving,” Atlas introduced. “Ms. Irving, this is my boss, Rowdy. He’s one of the owners.” “It’s Mrs. Irving, sweetie.” The customer looked Atlas up and down like she thought she was above her because some dumb fool who probably had a weak chin and a weaker stroke married her ass.

“I would never do that to you.” Even more shocking than my uttering such a promise was the bone-chilling knowledge that it was the truth. To conquer Atlas Beck was to conquer the universe. There’d be no need to search elsewhere.

“Let me know if you have any more trouble,” I told her quietly. And then, not so subtly, I squeezed her ass, earning a glare from her. “It doesn’t matter how small; I want you to come and get me. It doesn’t even need to be work-related. Anything you need, and Daddy will make it happen. And Atlas?” I gripped her chin when her stubborn ass looked away. “Only me.”

He tossed the clipboard and empty bottle back onto the table and straightened. “So let’s get this over with. Take your pants and panties off and bend over the table.”

“Nah. I don’t stick my dick in disobedient pussy. I’m going to do what your father should have done a long time ago and saved me the fucking headache.”

“Punish me,” I clarified and started forward, my hands undoing my jeans as I came to stand next to him. “Make it hurt.” I could see a thousand emotions warring in his eyes when I shoved down my pants and stepped out of them. “I won’t fight you.”

“I know what you want. You want to use me to punish yourself for whatever you think you did before you darkened my doorstep.” My breath shuddered out of me when I heard his belt falling to the floor. He leaned over me then, his groin now flush with my naked ass as he planted his hands next to my head and whispered in my ear. “But I won’t let you,” he said, making me whimper. “Let that guilt go, baby.

“What if I can’t?” I cried as tears streamed down my cheeks. “What if it’s too late?” “Then I’ll help you,”

His lips abruptly left my neck where he’d been suckling and leaving his mark. “More? Use your big girl words, Atlas. What do you want?” I paused and swallowed. “I want…I want to come.”

Before I could beg to fucking differ, he curved his fingers inside me, applying even more pressure to my G-spot while he ground the heel of his palm down on my engorged clit, making my eyes flutter wildly. “Come on, baby. Let it go. Be a good little bitch and come for me.”

His words from before slowly penetrated the fog I was trapped in as I came and came and came. “What are you going to do?” “I’m going to get my water back.” “God, please,” I begged for mercy when it seemed like I’d never stop coming. My legs shook wildly while my orgasm dribbled down his jaw and chin and spilled onto the table.

“Okay, first of all, I don’t just go around putting my mouth on any female. Second, if I wanted you gone, you’d be gone. I don’t beat around the bush because it takes too much time. I prefer to go for the jugular, so no, making you come wasn’t some trick, Atlas.”

“So let’s go.” I looked up at him. “What?” “I got shit to do, and I want you to come with me.” My mouth opened and closed several times before settling on, “Why?” Rowdy fingered one of my locs while gazing down at me softly. I’d never seen that look in his eyes before. Lust, yes, but not…this. “I already told you why.”

It had been the first time I’d gotten a taste of my own medicine in a fight. Whenever I threw a punch one way, my pops was already coming at me from another direction. It was like fighting a rabid pitbull and a tornado at the same time. Impossible.

“There’s a lot of things I can do with my hands and other parts at the same time, Dream.” I sank my teeth into my bottom lip as I imagined stroking her deep while using my hands and mouth to drive her crazy.

“It means you smell and taste just like a Dreamsicle, so that’s what I’ll call you.” Her response was immediate. “No.”

“She’s my business,” Rowdy warned, brows dipped murderously now like it hadn’t been love between them moments ago. “And back your ass up. You standing too close to her.”

I tried to hand him the device back, but he absently shook his head as his green gaze scanned the lot. “I trust you.” Unaware of what those three little words did to me—spoken as casually as if trusting me came naturally for him—he continued to search the sea of cars while I tried to calm the butterflies that had taken flight in my belly.

I wasn’t aware of him turning us until I felt my back suddenly pressed against the Mercedes and his tall frame blocked the sun behind him. “I want my dick in your mouth,” he said without breaking the kiss. “Okay.” I was even more breathless than before as butterflies erupted in my stomach. It didn’t matter that we were exposed, out in the open, where anyone could see. I was going to let Owen Rashaad Wray do whatever he wanted to me.

Tears leaked down my face, and I couldn’t tell which was wetter from his brutal treatment—my eyes or pussy. I heard gravel crunch somewhere nearby, but before I could pull away to warn Rowdy, he was coming down my throat with a grunt that made me forget we were no longer alone. My pussy wanted to be abused by him next.

His green eyes gleamed with pleasure a second before he mumbled, “I’m going to kill him.” I blinked. “Kill who?” Rowdy’s thumb lovingly stroked my bottom lip, smearing the cum there. I flicked out my tongue to get another taste. “The boy who taught you to suck dick this good.”

“Hurry up and get the paperwork so I can get my girl out of the cold.” Awww. Wait… No. I should be angry and embarrassed, not swooning. “I’m not your girl,” I denied as soon as Earl trudged away with his shoulders bowed. I felt bad for him, but there was nothing I could do. I was just as afraid of this psycho as everyone else. I just refused to let my fear win. “I don’t date bullies.”

He glanced up at me briefly before returning his gaze to his phone to finish texting. “I’m dating your pussy, Atlas. I’m not dating you.” What the fuck does that mean? As calmly as I could, I asked him to explain. “It means once I get up in it, it’s mine,” he told me without shame or remorse. “You won’t be fucking anyone else.” “But you can fuck whoever you like?” “Exactly.” I let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Well, I have a problem with that, which means my pussy has a problem with that.”

It was safe to say that this man perplexed me. How could he be so brutal one moment and then tender the next? It didn’t make any sense. Was he fighting a part of himself that wanted to treat me the way I deserved, or was I just searching for crumbs to justify my attraction? As if my private thoughts were an open book, his voice broke the quiet chaos happening within me. “You mad?”

“What’s your favorite thing to eat and please don’t say my pussy.” “So what you ask me for?” he said as he mugged me. “You want me to lie to you?”

right up until I told him his mother should have swallowed him. Losing the tenuous grip on his own cool and snatching me up by my neck, he brought our faces closer—his mean and mine terrified—before scolding me. “My mother is the only woman I’ll kill for, and as bad as I want to fuck you, your fine ass is not exempt, so watch your fucking mouth, Atlas.”

Rowdy had been mad and annoyed with me before, even threatened me a few times, but he’d never actually hurt me. I felt even more discombobulated because he had shattered the illusion that I was safe with him, and I didn’t know where to go from here.

Somehow, I missed my hand darting out and curling around the handle of the dirty steak knife someone had carelessly left behind. I was oblivious to it until warm fingers wrapped around mine and gently wrestled the knife away from me, tossing it on the table out of my reach. Golden.

Still, Rowdy couldn’t eat my pussy the way he did, let me suck his dick the way I did, and expect me not to get territorial. It wasn’t even enough for him to hurt me once tonight. No, he had to cut deeper.

Everyone just stood there gaping at the scene I’d made. Rowdy still sat in his exact spot, not uttering a word. There was no anger, shock, amusement, or fear in his expression as he stared up at me. He just…looked at me. Slowly, the red haze I’d fallen in lifted at the same time I felt gentle hands guiding me off the table. “Easy,” a quiet, raspy voice soothed when I tried to snatch away. My gaze followed the unfamiliar voice, and I froze when I saw who it belonged to. Golden. He’d spoken to me.

“And the right teacher,” I flirted back. “Thank you, cutie.” The blinding grin he gave me was charming and adorable enough that I considered kissing him for a split moment. He was much closer to my age and a lot nicer too—completely my type before I ever came to Idlewild. I didn’t get beyond the thinking stage of my plan when Roc’s voice broke through my drunken haze. “If you really want to thank him, Jailbait, I suggest you let him go. Immediately.”

“Don’t sweat it, beautiful. I have one for you right here.” Will patted his lap, making me grin. “My hero.” I started to lower myself into his lap as seductively as I could when I was suddenly snatched away from Will. I stumbled and landed in a startled Golden’s lap, making him spill his beer on his clean white shirt. Whoops.

Knowing I was next, I finally pulled myself up to my feet, stumbling a little, which caught Rowdy’s attention. He’d taken one step toward me before I bolted. I darted around the toppled table and fled the bay, pushing aside anyone who got in my way.

Atlas said I wasn’t worth falling in love with, and even though it stung more than I let on, she’d seen more of me in three weeks than most of the people who’d known me my entire life. I guess that was why I wasn’t surprised when it was her face that I pictured the moment I began to even mildly entertain the idea of starting a family. The image of Atlas with my ring on her finger and a baby in her belly popped into my head with crystal-fucking-clarity.