No More Mr. Nice Guy

by Robert A. Glover

List one fear that has been controlling your life. Once you decide to confront the fear, begin repeating to yourself, "I can handle it. No matter what happens, I will handle it." Keep repeating thi...

Most Nice Guys pride themselves on being honest and trustworthy. In reality, Nice Guys are fundamentally dishonest. They have the ability to tell a lie or withhold the truth and still believe the illusion that they are basically honest people. Since dishonesty is a fear-based behavior, telling lies and withholding the truth robs Nice Guys of their personal power.

I define lying as anything less than the truth. This may seem evident to most people, but it is important to define "lying," and "telling the truth," because Nice Guys are adept at creating definitions that justify their behavior.

It is not unusual to hear them make statements like "I'm pretty honest" or "I'm honest most of the time" without the slightest awareness of their contradiction of terms. In almost a childlike manner, Nice Guys will often offer the fo...

Joel was the owner of a successful construction company. On occasion, he would leave work a little early and catch an afternoon movie before heading home. Because he feared his wife's disapproval, he would refrain from telling her how he spent those afternoons. He would always h...

there was absolutely no reason for Joel to lie to his wife. In spite of all the effort Joel put into hiding the truth of his whereabouts, it never crossed his mind that he was lying to himself and to his wife. The bottom line was that Joel's lying perpetuated a fear...

When Nice Guys are learning to tell the truth I encourage them to pay attention to the things they least want others to know, what they least want to reveal. These are the things they are most likely to hold back — and the things they most need to tell. Sometimes they have to practice telling a ...

Sometimes after telling the truth, Nice Guys will report that it was a "mistake" because someone reacted with anger. Telling the truth is not a magic formula for having a smooth life. But living a life of integrity is actually easier than living one built around deceit and distortion. Deve...