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Would the marriage and kids thing be something I’d be willing to compromise on? When it comes to something like kids, you either have one or you don’t.
Am I really thinking about marriage and kids and being a fucking WAG? And in this case, the G doesn’t stand for girlfriend. Holy shit. I am thinking about it. Not even in an abstract way either, as much as I want to trick myself into thinking that.
Then what does the G stand for???
I want to stay with him. Long term. That’s more important to me than worrying about details. It should scare me that there are zero doubts circulating in my head. The voice that usually tries to argue reason is suspiciously silent. Like with Hades, I just know.
And now that I see him … I want to keep him. Possibly forever. Definitely forever.
“Oh my god. Is my little Kole in love? Oh, this is too precious!” “Shut your face.” “Urg, I have to go. The war is about to start.” “Monopoly?” “You know it. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”
He holds up his bandaged hand. “I got three stitches. It was so cool. They sewed me together. Ben is going to be so jealous if I end up with a scar.” Nine-year-olds, I swear.
I take out my phone and send Asher a text: I think your family has been taken over by pod people. A short laugh comes from the kitchen. At least he still finds me funny.
“I think it’s funny that Dad couldn’t tell us apart,” Ben adds. “Just like West.” West shifts. “Dad couldn’t tell you apart either?” “Nope. And then when he could, we’d pretend we were the other one to confuse him.”
“Hey, hospital visit aside, it was a pretty good day. And it ended with apple pie. Any day that ends with apple pie can’t be terrible. It’s, like, the law. Apple pie makes it all better. It’s scientific fact.” I huff a laugh. “I thought it was the law?” “Can’t the law and science be the same?”
Last year, he literally forced me and Cohen to get to know each other better—” “Did he lock you in my dad’s office too?” “No. He did the adult thing and set us up on a playdate like we were two-year-olds.”
“Because our future is—” “Our future. We don’t have to think about it now. We have time.” “But if I get a contract with Buffalo, and you—” “You know what I heard? I heard Buffalo has hospitals. Crazy, right?
I’ll probably go to med school at UVM—” I gasp. “You traitor.” “Oh no, I can’t become a catamount,” he cries dramatically.
“You take that back. I’m not nice.” “Oh no, never. And you’re definitely not the most adorable part-time guardian to your younger brothers and sisters either.” “Shut up.”
“And there you go, trying to make light of this situation because you don’t want to be vulnerable and admit you want the team’s approval. You want to be their friend, but you’re scared they’ll judge you for who you are deep down, which is a sweet, caring man who’s devoted to his family even though they’re overwhelming.” “I think we need a safeword when it comes to all this emoting. No more.”
I lied just now though. I don’t think I’m falling for him. I’ve already fallen.
Then I note the giant grade at the top. “B plus?” A burst of elation hits me at how happy Asher looks with himself. “Best grade ever,” he says. “That’s incredible.”
I’m at the Dalton house a lot because Asher’s spending what little free time he does have at home. It means West can get a much-needed break so he doesn’t burn out and run off again, and it leaves Asher and me plenty of time to study and not have sex.
“I actually thought …” He shifts his eyes away from me. “That maybe it might be time we told people about us?”
I grab my coffee and follow him to the table where Rossi, Simms, Kaplan, and Stalberg are already sitting. Asher steals a chair from another table, and before I can grab one of my own, he sits down and pulls me onto his lap. I tense, and Asher’s holding his breath. But there’s barely a break in the conversation.
“Let’s review,” Rossi says, clearly amused. “Asher waits for you after every practice, you arrive together, you study together, you share a room at away games—where you really could try to be more quiet, by the way—West treats Kole like another brother, Coach can’t look at Asher without scowling, more so than usual, and if I have to hear the phrase Kole said one more time, my brain will start leaking out of my ears.”
“You forget I was friends with Foster, and Beck and Jacobs, and Cohen. I’ve given up assuming people are straight, and you two have been behaving just like those other idiots.”
“No offense, man, but none of us want to know about your sex life. That’s a strictly kiss and don’t tell situation.” “Pity,” Asher says, and his tone gives me a split-second warning. “Because Kole sucks the best dick. You guys have no idea what you’re missing.”
“You’re going to have to try way harder than that these days,” Simms says. “I’m sure I can come up with something.” “What, you can get even more unpleasant?” “I can try,” Asher taunts. “And yet no one is surprised.”
“Look at you making friends and everything.” “Safeword. Safeword.” “Yeah, ‘safeword’ isn’t a safeword, and nothing is going to stop me from pointing out how much I love seeing you crawl out of your cocoon to become a beautiful social butterfly.”
“Fuck no.” “I’m going to buy pom-poms for your next game and wear a T-shirt with your face on it.” “I will end you.” “But I’m so pretty.”
“Eh,” Rossi says. “You guys can’t be worse than Beck and Jacobs.” “Sounds like a challenge to me,” I say.
“I’m surprised that went so well,” I say. “I’m not. You plus me equals perfection.” “I think I’m beginning to understand why you were failing math.”
“Either you’ve contracted some deadly disease that’s messing with your thoughts, or … you’re in love with me.” The smile slides from his face, and he cups my cheeks in the way that I love. “Definitely the second.”
“And I have bad news for you,” he continues. “I think it’s contagious.” A shiver runs down my spine. “Uh-oh, I think you’re right.” “Yikes. Have we caught the love?” “Gross.”
“I really love you,” I breathe. “Yeah, Kole.” He clears his throat. “I really love you too.”
Somewhere in there, we’re heading up to Montreal to catch Foster Grant play, to take Kaplan to a bar where he’s legally able to drink, and we’re going to blow off some steam for once.
“Because with you, I don’t have the need to hide who I am. I don’t have to pretend to be strong. I don’t need to do stupid shit to prove I can’t be hurt. All of that excess anger I was keeping inside that would erupt in forms of self-destruction aren’t there when I’m with you, and it’s not because of anything you do or say. It’s because I’m my true self around you. No pretenses.”
We meet the guys out in the parking lot—Rossi, Simms, Kaplan, Beck, and Jacobs are coming, and when we get up there, we’re meeting Cohen, who’s a PR assistant for the Montreal team. He scored us tickets to the game.
Cohen might have warned me against getting into Beck’s car. Apparently two hours in a confined space with him can drive anyone mad.
“I didn’t think this would ever happen at the beginning of the season.” “I don’t think any of us did,” I murmur. “Say, ‘thank you, Kole.’” Simms and I flip him off as though on cue.
And as we dump our stuff in our room and head downstairs, my old line mate stands to greet me with a hug while his boyfriend scowls at me. It’s cute because Seth Grant is not an intimidating guy.
I pull Kole close. “This is my boyfriend. Kole, this is Cohen and Seth.”
“Aww, are you checking up on me?” I ask in my flirty tone. Beside him, Seth growls. I throw my hands up. “I’m sorry, but it’s so easy to get under your skin, and I love it.”
We all clink the small glasses and throw them back except for Cohen, who hands his to Seth, who downs both. I cock my head at Cohen. “Pregnant?” “I’m on PR duty tonight,” he says.
Hopefully one day he’ll meet someone who’ll be there for him the way Kole is for me.
“Hmm, doing my residency in whichever city you sign with. Getting a small house with a yard for Hades.” “Careful, that’s starting to sound a hell of a lot like a white picket fence future you were so against.” Kole smiles at me and leans in to brush his lips against mine. “Maybe a white picket fence future with you wouldn’t be so bad.”
