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“After it … happened, I was at that table, eating breakfast and scrolling through my phone, and I saw an article on Gretzky and leaned over to show it to Dad, but … he wasn’t there.”
Life’s shitty. Look at tonight. We should be fucking, and instead we’re talking about ghosts.
Kole smiles at me. I can’t tell if it’s a “Oh, you’re so fucked, lucky you’re pretty” type smile or a genuine one. “You got them all right.”
“Fuck, thank you. Thank you so much.” Without thinking, I lean forward and press my lips to his.
The sooner I can get these questions answered, the sooner I can touch him. Ah, I mean, the sooner his mouth will be wrapped around my dick. Obviously. That’s what I want.
“Are you free this weekend?” Hipster Boy asks. I automatically answer for him but don’t take my eye off my paper. “We have a game at UConn.”
“You can go out with whoever you want.” As long as their name starts with A and ends in sher. Ugh, shut up, brain.
“Once the acne cleared up and the braces came off, it was easier to blend into society as one of the more fortunate-looking people. I think sleeping around made me feel validated in a way. It’s why I did a lot of it.”
That is until we’re two houses away and Asher spots us. “Hellhound!” The sharp tug of the leash is so unexpected it pulls from my hand, and my dumb dog takes off. He launches himself into Asher’s arms and knocks him straight over.
“I told you that you exude sex appeal. We’re the innocents in all this.”
“Wait, are they doing suicides?” Asher shrugs. “They’ve been fighting since I got home. Figured they needed to expel some energy.”
A shrill scream comes from inside, and Asher reacts like he’s on autopilot. He bounds onto the porch and through the front door, and I trail after him, completely unprepared for what I’m about to find.
“Who are you?” “I’m Kole. Friend of Asher’s.” “I’m Hazel.” “Nice to meet you.” She drops back into her chair and pulls her laptop toward herself. Right before she puts her headphones back on, she looks back up at me and says softly, “I like that he has a friend.”
“Zoe has a boyfriend.” “Fuck off, Rhys.” “He messaged her—” “I said fuck off!”
“When will West be home?” I ask. “Who knows? He says he’s doing something for the team, but I’m pretty sure he’s getting his dick wet. Not like he’s much help when he’s here anyway. He can’t even tell the twins apart.”
“Okay, so what do we have to do before West gets home?” I point to the pasta. “I take it spaghetti is off the menu tonight, so what are we going to cook?” “We?”
He leaves, and I duck into the front room to find the twins throwing batteries at each other. Wonderful. “Hey, do you two have a tennis ball?” “Yes, why?” “Hades loves to play fetch.”
By the time Asher appears behind me, the sauce is in the pot bubbling away, and I’ve stacked all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Not going to lie, I’m totally a domestic fucking goddess right now.
“Asher … is that … sincerity I hear?” He shoves me. “Don’t get used to it.” “Today will forever be marked as the day that Asher Dalton showed gratitude.” He laughs and steps forward, then before I know what’s happening, he leans in and kisses me.
The play is so fast, I’m still trying to work out where the puck went. I don’t realize I found the actual goal until my line mates are pulling me up into a hug. I glance around. Wait, what? Then I smile as if to say, Oh, yeah, I totally did that on purpose.
I think it could win play of the year and best blooper. The way you tripped on your own stick and landed on the ice …”
I lean forward and give him a noogie. Because apparently, I’m one of them now. And this is normal behavior for us. I don’t know when that happened, but there it is.
Maybe the universe is trying to protect Kole from someone like me. But as I meet his gaze, and those hazel eyes fill with heat, there’s no doubt in my mind that Kole’s only in this for the sex. He’s too smart to fall for someone so … damaged.
It’s a shame, really, because our chemistry is on fire, and I actually like him. I don’t like many people. Sure as shit don’t get along with a lot.
“I guess I should get cleaned up and get into my bed.” “Nuh-uh. Well, yeah, go get cleaned up, but come back here.” I pat the bed beside me. “What, you want to cuddle?” I move closer to him while taking off the condom. “Who said anything about cuddling? Once I can get it up, we’re doing that again.”
We fucked twice on Friday night, and once after his game last night, and even though the plan had been to switch it up, when we’d got back here—oops!—I’d accidentally ended up back on his cock. No regrets here.
“What the hell happened to your nose?” he asks instead. “Allergies?”
“Moose.” The driver grunts. “Just missed the damn thing.”
The noise from the team has kicked up so loud, it takes me a moment to notice the short, sharp pants coming from Asher. He’s pale and looks freaked-out. Okay, the shock has clearly not worn off him.
“I’m gonna call West.” “Why?” “Give him the heads-up.”
“How?” “A car crash. They hit a moose and drove off the road.”
The buzzing energy inside me ebbs and flows at a dangerous pace. I want to punch things, pace … scream. Instead of doing any of that, my eyes well up. What in the fuck is this shit? I wipe the few drops away, but that only makes more flow.
I wanted to escape, and I did it the only way I know how.” “By making others mad at you so they won’t care what you do or what happens to you.”
I try for a laugh. I really do. In fact, I think it starts as a laugh, but then all at once, it collapses into uncontrollable sobs.
Minutes pass, but I can’t tell how many. Ten, twenty, forty-five. Every time I think I’m getting the gut-wrenching crying under control, it starts again.
“I wished it was me,” I mumble. “What?” “When Dad and June died, I wished it was me.” Kole’s arms tighten around me. “Oh, Asher.” I realize how it sounded now. “No, no, don’t think I’m suicidal or anything like that. When they died, I couldn’t help feeling guilty that they were gone.
“What’s the deal with you and West? Your relationship is confusing. Sometimes it feels like you hate him, sometimes it sounds like you think he hates you when I know for a fact he loves you and wants to protect you, and then other times …” “Other times, what?” “It seems like you’re two sides of the same coin.”
“Dad looked to West a lot to help with me. At least until June came along.” “He was a kid.” “I know, and it’s why sometimes I feel like he resents me.”
“Even though I was little back then, I felt it. I thought it was ‘Oh, my annoying little brother wants to be like me, and I’m the best’ which is why I fought playing hockey for so long. Then when I found out hey, I’m actually really good at hockey, possibly even better than—” I mock gasp “—Westly fucking Dalton, it suddenly became a competition I don’t think either of us wanted to play.
“I need to go do something.” “O … kay?” I glance at him over my shoulder. “You coming?”
You—wait, why is your face all splotchy?” I pause and hesitate for a millisecond, but like earlier when I decided it was time to let it all go and bawled like a baby, I do it again. It’s not intentional, and I’d fully intended to get through telling West what needs to be said without them, but one look at him and nope. Only this time, I don’t try to hold the tears back.
I cross the room and throw my arms around my stupid big brother. “I love you. You’re a great brother, and you’re doing a great job.”
“I’ve been an emotional wreck ever since. You’re welcome.” More tears come. “Jesus H. Christ, how much water can your eyes have?”
“And he pointed out how much you and I are alike, and well, I thought you might need to hear that you’re not alone and you aren’t screwing it all up.”
“Okay, I’m done with this shit.” “It suits you, little brother.” “Fuck off, West.” Aww, even the insult is missing his usual aggression.
“Why is Kole here?” he asks, voice heavy with suspicion. Asher’s hand tightens around mine for a moment. “Studying.” Then he pulls me away down the hall.
“Your brother totally knows,” I whisper. Asher opens a door and motions for me to go first down the stairs. “He doesn’t know shit.” “You sure about that?”
“I am a dumb choice.” His joke falls dead when he doesn’t even try to inject any humor into his tone. It makes me want to argue back that’s not true at all, but …
His mouth presses softly to mine as he steers me onto his lap. The kiss itself isn’t a surprise, but when he wraps his arms around me, holding me close, and makes no move to deepen it or speed things up, it is.
“Should we, ah, study first?” He meets my eyes. “No.” No. That’s the only answer he gives me before he’s kissing me again. He’s more confident this time, but he still doesn’t make a move to heat things up.
