The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT

by Russ Harris

Never set as your goal something that a dead person can do better than you. For example, to stop eating chocolate—that’s something a dead person can do better than you because, no matter what, they’ll definitely never, ever eat chocolate again. Or to stop feeling depressed—that’s something a dead person can do better than you, because they’ll never feel depressed again. Any goal that is about not doing something or stopping doing something is a dead person’s goal. To convert it to a live person’s goal (i.e., something that a live person can do better than a dead one) you need to ask yourself, “If I was no longer doing this activity (or feeling this way or thinking like this), what would I be doing with my time? How would I be acting differently?” For example, suppose you answered, “If I was no longer smoking, I’d be going for a walk after lunch and breathing in the fresh air instead of puffing on a cigarette.” Okay, so make that your goal. After lunch, instead of having a cigarette, get up and go for a walk and breathe in the fresh air. That is definitely something you can do better than a dead person.