Interview with Augusten Burroughs
Posted by Goodreads on April 4, 2016
In 2002, Augusten Burroughs released Running with Scissors, a landmark publishing event that changed the memoir genre and spent four years on the New York Times bestseller list. Since then, Burroughs has continued to let readers into his fascinating life and slightly warped brain. He followed Running with Scissors, which chronicled his turbulent childhood and family, with 2003's Dry, a profound, unblinking look at his experience in rehab for alcoholism. His subsequent essay collections—including Magical Thinking, Possible Side Effects, and You Better Not Cry—have provided shorter glimpses into his always unpredictable, keenly observed life.
Lust & Wonder picks up where Dry left off and finds Burroughs in New York City, living a stable life for the first time and hoping to find love. The book follows his relationships with Mitch, a novelist Burroughs starts dating after writing him a fan letter; Dennis (the first relationship he experiences sober), a man he makes a life with for ten years; and Christopher, his longtime literary agent and now husband. With his signature dry wit and unfiltered honesty, Burroughs answers the question: Once you've been to hell and back, where do you go next?
Goodreads: You write in Lust & Wonder: "The horrible thing about being sober is you lose your excuse for being so fucked up." This book definitely deals less with external trauma and more with the lasting internal effects of it. What is easier and what is harder about this shift in perspective?
Augusten Burroughs: You know, in my childhood (as I described it in Running with Scissors) there was just an endless series of punches, of traumas, of body blows to contend with on a sort of daily basis. I just became psychologically athletic. I couldn't sit around and say, "Wow, how is this going to impact me when I'm 40?" The adrenaline and need for constant readjustments was kind of numbing. And in a way, that was an easier experience. Because as an adult much later on, I was experiencing almost a wave-function from an impact made in childhood. It was difficult to understand my own behavior or to trust my own instincts.
GR: Through the success of your books you've become a source of inspiration to many people who deal with addiction. Does that give you a sense of responsibility when you write? Do you feel any pressure to be a role model?
AB: I don't feel any pressure to be a "role model" because I just don't think of myself as a model of behavior. But I do feel an obligation to fully put myself out there on the page and not hold back. My feeling is, if you're going to be a memoirist, you owe it to the reader not to spit-shine your life. So if I'm uncomfortable writing about something because it might make me appear weak or crazy or desperate or unbalanced or...whatever, I just have to deal with that discomfort and write anyway.
GR: In this book you recount the writing of your novel Sellevision as something that in some ways saved your life—drawing you away from drinking and introducing you to a new career—but you haven't published any fiction since then. Do you hope to in the future? Have you stayed away from fiction because you don't feel that same compelling force that you did when Sellevision came to you?
AB: I do hope to publish more fiction in the future, and I've written several novels since Sellevision, but I haven't published them because I haven't been completely happy with them. I experience more internal pressure with respect to fiction writing than I do with memoir. And I think maybe it's because in fiction there is so much freedom; there is only freedom. And this reminds me very much of my childhood, where I also experienced a kind of mad and endless freedom. So maybe this freedom scares me a little or intimidates me. I think that's part of it. But the other thing is, my life continues to unfold in unexpected ways, so I've had this real need to process it and continue to explore it on the page.
GR: You end this memoir as a self-described "happy man," something you say you never expected. What surprises you most about happiness?
AB: I think how rooted to the present moment it is. I mean, my life isn't without conflict now, it's not without fear or anxiety. But I love my life now, which is something I've never been able to say. It's not about success or my career or what I see as my potential—all the things that really used to drive me. What I love about my life is my relationship with Christopher, our friends, our dogs, our home, our land. I love cooking and reading and living away from New York City. I love living in a house that's over 200 years old, where there is such history in literally every inch.
GR: You must frequently meet people who feel like they know you from reading your books. What do you think most surprises people about you when they meet you in person?
AB: Sometimes people tell me I'm more serious than they expect. Which I guess is a polite way of saying, "Oh, I thought you'd be funnier in person."
GR: You talk a lot in the book about your fascination with precious stones and your habit of buying jewelry online. Can you tell me about a favorite stone or piece of jewelry that you own?
AB: I've collected jewelry since I was a little kid, since I was five. Jade is probably my favorite stone. It's much more popular in the Chinese culture, where it's infused with history and significance and meaning. I also love natural, uncultured pearls because they're just so incredibly rare. Diamonds are actually quite common and, to me, a little boring. I am drawn to much less familiar gems. Chrysoberyl cat's eye, for example. I love stones that do something, with an eye that slides across the face in the right light or a stone that changes color completely from daylight to candlelight like an Alexandrite.
GR: Goodreads member Julianne asks, "How would your friends describe you?"
AB: Probably in many contradicting ways.
GR: Goodreads member Laura asks, "As a memoirist, do you think of your life as the plot of a story? How do you curb your inner dialogue while 'scenes' in your life are happening?"
AB: I've been writing about my life since I was eight or nine, long before I had a career as a writer or had any dreams of being a writer. Writing is really how I process my thoughts and feelings and experiences. And this has remained true for most of my life. I continue to think, "I'll write about this when I get home" versus, "I might publish this someday."
GR: Goodreads member Rosalie asks, "Do you experience hostility from the people you write about and, if so, how do you deal with it? Your end product is clearly never the result of having written scared, and you write so honestly and directly that it's hard to imagine that people aren't angry with you."
AB: I've experienced backlash, for sure. But I always come back to the writing, to telling my story and not allowing anything to pollute me.
GR: Goodreads member Ann asks, "Do you think there is a link between addiction and creativity?"
AB: Well, inasmuch as many creative people struggle with themselves and use drugs and alcohol as a means of soothing or coping, yes.
GR: Tell us about your writing process.
AB: I write throughout the day. Sometimes on memoir, sometimes on fiction. I write in many different locations—upstairs in the attic room, downstairs on the sofa or at one of the tables, or upstairs in the bedroom on top of the bed. I might write 10,000 words in a day or I might write literally one sentence. But if I don't write at least a tiny bit every day, I get totally derailed. It's like my machinery rusts instantly.
GR: What books have inspired or influenced you as a writer?
AB: I really love Edith Wharton for so many reasons. I tend to read more female writers than male writers, and I can't tell you why this is, just that it is.
GR: What are you reading or planning to read now?
AB: Right now I am reading Hotel du Lac by Anita Brookner.
Lust & Wonder picks up where Dry left off and finds Burroughs in New York City, living a stable life for the first time and hoping to find love. The book follows his relationships with Mitch, a novelist Burroughs starts dating after writing him a fan letter; Dennis (the first relationship he experiences sober), a man he makes a life with for ten years; and Christopher, his longtime literary agent and now husband. With his signature dry wit and unfiltered honesty, Burroughs answers the question: Once you've been to hell and back, where do you go next?
Augusten Burroughs: You know, in my childhood (as I described it in Running with Scissors) there was just an endless series of punches, of traumas, of body blows to contend with on a sort of daily basis. I just became psychologically athletic. I couldn't sit around and say, "Wow, how is this going to impact me when I'm 40?" The adrenaline and need for constant readjustments was kind of numbing. And in a way, that was an easier experience. Because as an adult much later on, I was experiencing almost a wave-function from an impact made in childhood. It was difficult to understand my own behavior or to trust my own instincts.
GR: Through the success of your books you've become a source of inspiration to many people who deal with addiction. Does that give you a sense of responsibility when you write? Do you feel any pressure to be a role model?
AB: I don't feel any pressure to be a "role model" because I just don't think of myself as a model of behavior. But I do feel an obligation to fully put myself out there on the page and not hold back. My feeling is, if you're going to be a memoirist, you owe it to the reader not to spit-shine your life. So if I'm uncomfortable writing about something because it might make me appear weak or crazy or desperate or unbalanced or...whatever, I just have to deal with that discomfort and write anyway.
AB: I do hope to publish more fiction in the future, and I've written several novels since Sellevision, but I haven't published them because I haven't been completely happy with them. I experience more internal pressure with respect to fiction writing than I do with memoir. And I think maybe it's because in fiction there is so much freedom; there is only freedom. And this reminds me very much of my childhood, where I also experienced a kind of mad and endless freedom. So maybe this freedom scares me a little or intimidates me. I think that's part of it. But the other thing is, my life continues to unfold in unexpected ways, so I've had this real need to process it and continue to explore it on the page.
GR: You end this memoir as a self-described "happy man," something you say you never expected. What surprises you most about happiness?
AB: I think how rooted to the present moment it is. I mean, my life isn't without conflict now, it's not without fear or anxiety. But I love my life now, which is something I've never been able to say. It's not about success or my career or what I see as my potential—all the things that really used to drive me. What I love about my life is my relationship with Christopher, our friends, our dogs, our home, our land. I love cooking and reading and living away from New York City. I love living in a house that's over 200 years old, where there is such history in literally every inch.
AB: Sometimes people tell me I'm more serious than they expect. Which I guess is a polite way of saying, "Oh, I thought you'd be funnier in person."
GR: You talk a lot in the book about your fascination with precious stones and your habit of buying jewelry online. Can you tell me about a favorite stone or piece of jewelry that you own?
AB: I've collected jewelry since I was a little kid, since I was five. Jade is probably my favorite stone. It's much more popular in the Chinese culture, where it's infused with history and significance and meaning. I also love natural, uncultured pearls because they're just so incredibly rare. Diamonds are actually quite common and, to me, a little boring. I am drawn to much less familiar gems. Chrysoberyl cat's eye, for example. I love stones that do something, with an eye that slides across the face in the right light or a stone that changes color completely from daylight to candlelight like an Alexandrite.
GR: Goodreads member Julianne asks, "How would your friends describe you?"
AB: Probably in many contradicting ways.
GR: Goodreads member Laura asks, "As a memoirist, do you think of your life as the plot of a story? How do you curb your inner dialogue while 'scenes' in your life are happening?"
AB: I've been writing about my life since I was eight or nine, long before I had a career as a writer or had any dreams of being a writer. Writing is really how I process my thoughts and feelings and experiences. And this has remained true for most of my life. I continue to think, "I'll write about this when I get home" versus, "I might publish this someday."
GR: Goodreads member Rosalie asks, "Do you experience hostility from the people you write about and, if so, how do you deal with it? Your end product is clearly never the result of having written scared, and you write so honestly and directly that it's hard to imagine that people aren't angry with you."
AB: I've experienced backlash, for sure. But I always come back to the writing, to telling my story and not allowing anything to pollute me.
GR: Goodreads member Ann asks, "Do you think there is a link between addiction and creativity?"
AB: Well, inasmuch as many creative people struggle with themselves and use drugs and alcohol as a means of soothing or coping, yes.
GR: Tell us about your writing process.
AB: I write throughout the day. Sometimes on memoir, sometimes on fiction. I write in many different locations—upstairs in the attic room, downstairs on the sofa or at one of the tables, or upstairs in the bedroom on top of the bed. I might write 10,000 words in a day or I might write literally one sentence. But if I don't write at least a tiny bit every day, I get totally derailed. It's like my machinery rusts instantly.
AB: I really love Edith Wharton for so many reasons. I tend to read more female writers than male writers, and I can't tell you why this is, just that it is.
GR: What are you reading or planning to read now?
AB: Right now I am reading Hotel du Lac by Anita Brookner.
Interview by Janet Potter for Goodreads. Potter is a staff writer for The Millions and cohost of The Book Report on YouTube. She has contributed to The Chicago Reader, Chicago Magazine, The AV Club, and The Awl.
Learn more about Janet and follow what she's reading.
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Apr 07, 2016 05:57AM
Thanks for the great interview. I have been reading and following Mr. Burroughs career and he is fascinating, down to earth deep and hysterically funny. I love how he incorporates humor even in the darkest times. Thank you Augusten for sharing your soul!
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Do you find this strange route of joined up synchronic name title references too large computers that once were or are in uses of late fifties American English punch cards as your still concerned too think you actually say you live there when it is not a habitable address and have found these types of follows before even trying too vote for uncle SAMs too be groups or leaders from those that demo there is not that where they go reporting too be work a day hoss Pitt Killy tax man lay of even offer too war into those that do clown idol non acts as then you include those as your system which you feel represent a world konker ing leader that we know won't hear or read a be as is a long known total not that has tried acts of being a God for ringer Roxie copper nik oz many times your lover in fact?
Always enjoy reading and hearing interviews with Augusten. Loved this book, laughed myself sick and was also deeply moved. Haven't loved everything he's written but this is a beauty.
Such nice interview! It definitely makes me want to read his stories now.P.s. the link between creativity and addiction is something that personally freaks me out. I wonder if many more people agree with a solid connection between the two.
Great Interview, I found some very interesting stuff!
