Sellevision

by Augusten Burroughs

Darkly funny and gleefully mean-spirited, Sellevision explores greed, obsession and third tier celebrity, in the world of a fictional home shopping network.

Welcome to the troubled world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much-loved and handsome (lonely and gay) host of "Slumber Sunday Sundown" accidentally exposes himself in front of twenty million kids and their parents during a "Toys for Tots" segment, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max fails to find a job in television, another host, the popular and perky Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails about her appearance from a stalker. Popping pills and drinking heavily, she fails to notice that her husband is spending a lot of time with the very young babysitter who lives next door. Then there's Leigh, whose affair with Sellevision boss Howard Toast is going nowhere, until she exposes him on air; and Bebe, Sellevision's star host, who finds Mr. Right through the Internet--if she can just stop her shopping addiction from taking over.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Comedy, Novels, LGBT, Adult Fiction

229 pages, Paperback

First published September 7, 2000

About the author

Augusten Burroughs born Christopher Robison, son of poet and writer Margaret Robison and younger brother of John Elder Robison.

Burroughs has no formal education beyond elementary school. A very successful advertising copywriter for over seventeen years, he was also an alcoholic who nearly drank himself to death in 1999. But spurned by a compulsion he did not understand, Burroughs began to write a novel. Never outlining or consciously structuring the book, Burroughs wrote, "as fast as I could type, to keep up." Seven days later, Augusten Burroughs had written his first book. He had also stopped drinking. The book was published one year later. Burroughs remains sober to this day. And Sellevision stands as Burroughs's only published novel. It is currently in development as a feature film.

Augusten's second book was a memoir. It was also a publishing phenomenon that helped to ignite a kind of memoir fever in America and abroad. Running with Scissors was released in 2001 to virtually unanimous critical acclaim. The memoir would ultimately remain on the New York Times bestseller list for over four consecutive years, eight months of which were spent in the #1 position. The film, starring Annette Benning, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jill Clayburgh and Alec Baldwin was released in 2005.

He has since published four additional autobiographical volumes (Dry, Possible Side Effects, Magical Thinking and A Wolf at the Table), all of them bestsellers. Currently published in over thirty countries, Augusten's book readings have become massively popular events on numerous continents. He has also headlined for the most prestigious literary festivals in the world, most recently the 2008 Melbourne writer's Festival, where he and Germaine Greer delivered the keynote addresses on opening night. In addition, Burroughs speaks regularly at colleges and universities on topics ranging from alcoholism and sexual abuse to the art of authoring one's own life and humor as serious medicine.

Twice honored by Entertainment Weekly as one of 25 funniest people in America, Burroughs shocked fans and the media alike with the release of A Wolf at the Table in early 2008. The brutal, terrifying and decidedly unfunny book instantly generated a storm of publicity and controversy. Critics were deeply divided, and the book received some of the worst -and best- reviews of the author's career. The book tour for A Wolf at the Table, spanned some six months and four countries, as Augusten performed for the largest crowds of his career. A Wolf at the Table is Augusten's bestselling hardcover to date.

While critics continue to challenge the veracity of Burroughs's books, questioning everything from his alcoholism and advertising career to his earliest childhood memories, the author remains nonplussed, even philosophical. "To be a journalist with a major American newspaper or magazine, you have to have an A-list college education. And to get into that A-list college, you had to do very well in the right high school. So the chances are, you were not being fucked up the ass at age twelve by a pedophile. The facts of my life are generally questioned by extremely privileged and well-educated people who, more likely than not, learned most of what they know about life's dangerous, shocking and sometimes unbelievable underbelly from books, television and the occasional Quentin Tarrantino film. The reason my books continue to sell, despite frequently being dismissed as "unbelievable," is because the people who read my books recognize the truth that is in them. They know the scent. They have smelled it. The very details the media view with such suspicion are the same details that prove to my reader, this guy was there. I remember that, too."

http://us.macmillan.com/author/august...

Reviews

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book revolves around various people who worked or used to work for Sellevision, Burroughs version of the Home Shopping Network.

Max, who is fired for an accidental penis-exposure on air, is searching for a new job.

Peggy Jean is a perfectly coiffed, God-fearing, church-going, proper wife and mother of three. As an unknown malicious someone starts sending her threatening e-mails and packages, her perfect little world starts to unravel. Suddenly vodka and valium are needed to get her through the day.

Bebe Friedman is looking for love. 40-or-so, she's finally decided to put a personal ad on the Internet to find a man. Even though her friends think she's crazy, she ends up finding a wonderful, funny, loving man.

These are the main storylines, but Burroughs throws in a half-dozen others. Peggy Jean's husband, John, is obsessed with underage porn and the neighbor's daughter. Leigh is sleeping with the married CEO of Sellevision and waiting for him to leave his family for her. Trish is super-rich and her hard-working fiancé feels very inadequate and like he'll never measure up to her rich father.

This book is funny. I laughed out loud once (this is a good barometer, since books can't usually get me to do that). Also, even though Burroughs tackles some serious topics, he never loses his sense of humor or his tongue-in-cheek slyness that seeps through the pages.

Max, the gay man who is fired and looking for work, was funny and smart. I really felt for him as he kept getting turned down for jobs because of an 'incident' that was accidental and not his fault. He and Leigh are best friends, and even though both of them are going through rough times, they get together to eat Chinese food and make plans to change their lives. Both of them (Max and Leigh) had great storylines with funny points and happy endings.

Bebe Friedman was also a warm, funny, vulnerable character and her budding romance with Eliot, her Internet find, is sweet and touching. You really feel happy for her and end up cooing over this pairing.

Peggy Jean is Burroughs more serious, hard-hitting plotline. Burroughs does an amazing job of painting this kind of woman. Sheltered, conservative, suburban, worried about all the wrong things - I know women like Peggy Jean in real life. But Burroughs isn't too harsh with her. We see the world through her eyes, and even though we disagree with her opinions and decisions, we can understand why she made them. This is the character that Burroughs allows to change and grow. By being placed in a very difficult situation, she suffers - but then starts to blossom into a better, more aware person. I have also seen this happen personally to women like this who suffer unexpected hardships. So this really hit home for me.

The solitary part of Burrough's book that I did not enjoy was that of John, Peggy Jean's husband. It was really disturbing for me to read about him when he was fantasizing about his neighbor's 15-year-old daughter. And trolling the Internet constantly for underage girl porn. But what really made me sick was when he starts sleeping with the 15-year-old next door. And there's no ending, or wrap-up that ties everything together. He just rides off into the sunset, so to speak, with this girl. No consequences. No resolution. Just happily-ever-after with the neighbor's daughter. Ugh.

I'm the kind of person who likes characters in movies and books to get their just deserts. If the hero has to die - fine, but I want the bad guy to die too. In this book, there is no 'bad-guy' exactly, but John is as close as Burroughs comes. He definitely didn't deserve the ending he got. Also, the underage girl factor really makes me squeamish. So I am going to have to take points off for this.

Burroughs is a funny, cut-to-the-chase author whose cynical take on the world is not depressing - because he doesn't lose sight of the comedy that exists right alongside the tragedy.

[Kent · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, after reading several of Burroughs’ works, I can’t say I have an overly high opinion of his contributions. When I first asked a friend who this Burroughs person was and if I’d enjoy reading him, they told me that he was similar to David Sedaris and that if I liked Sedaris, I’d like Burroughs. Well, the truth is that I LOVE Sedaris, and tolerate Burroughs.

They both seem to draw largely on personal experiences to weave humorous stories that people can relate to. How can that go wrong, you might ask. I think the difference boils down to style. Sedaris, when speaking of himself, does not come across as taking himself too seriously and is not afraid to lampoon himself along with his family and friends. Burroughs, on the other hand, always strikes me as someone who thinks very highly of himself and doesn’t to a great job of hiding this in his writing. Even when I think he has written a worthy and humorous story, I’ll trip over a sentence or comment within the work where Burroughs blows smoke up his own ass destroying the magic he was previously able to conger.

All that said, Sellevision was mildly amusing and somewhat predictable.

I’m sure many will disagree with me, but all in all, Burroughs is at best a B author.

[Jennie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was sorry I didn't care for this book since I adore Augusten Burroughs. It wasn't particularly terrible but it was just a cheap, trashy read that I didn't associate with the witty, biting and unflinchingly honest prose of Burroughs' memoirs. As other readers have mentioned this was a typical airplane read - rife with cliques, flat characters and plot lines that manage to be both absurd and predictable. Its zaniness reminded me a bit of a Carl Hiassen paperback. At any rate it appears fiction is not Burroughs strong suit.

[Berengaria · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

Not a bad little comedy about the ambition-frenzied, so-fake-they're-real moderators of a home shopping channel.

Unfortunately, "Sellavision" starts strong, but steadily looses momentum until the plot strands are sagging like a bouquet of deflated balloons. I felt more could have been done lampooning the glorification of rampant consumerism and the pursuit of idealised perfection in the late '90s -early '00s, but what is there is entertaining nonetheless!

This one's a fairly decent beach-read for those who enjoy seeing the seedy underbelly of snobs exposed.

(Warning for those who find sex comedy distasteful: (gay) penises play a major role in the plot! )

[Teela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Augusten Burroughs never fails to impress me.

This is the first piece of fiction I've read by Mr. Burroughs but I can see where he blends some of his own existence in with this world he's created in fiction. it's the story of the human condition. The good Christian church-going woman who finds in outlet in Valium and alcohol; her husband who is sleeping with the underage neighbor; the 40 something year old woman that looks to the internet to find true love; the trust fund baby who has never had to work for anything in her life; the employee that is sleeping with her boss that promises to leave his wife for her; and the man that is not planning on actually leaving his wife.

It's the American story told through the comedic eyes and wit of Burroughs making all of these unfortunate situations somehow hysterical. Or maybe they just made me laugh and I have a weird sense of humor? Be that as it may, Burroughs had me so enveloped in each of his characters that I had to find out what happened and literally did not put it down til I was finished.

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a fan of Augusten Burroughs. I think I can specifically remember the moment when I decided this. I was standing behind the counter at the Borders I was working for at the time reading Dry, Burroughs' retelling of his time as an Ad Exec and alcoholic, when I read a paragraph that struck me as especially odious and, quite literally, hurled the book onto the floor and stomped away. I don't know who it was that decided that people who have had moderately-fucked up lives were deserving of having their tell-alls published, I'm going to blame reality TV with this one(because they haven't been my scapegoat for a few weeks), but it's a distinctly repugnant trend in writing right now.

Most people's lives (and I'm including Dave Eggers, Sean Wilsey, and all those others who know who they are in this rant) are just not that interesting by the time they're in their late twenties to warrant an autobiography. Truthfully, unless your mother was a truck stop whore who dressed you as a girl to turn tricks and got you hooked on smack when you were ten (and, sadly, JT LeRoy was a ruse), your life is not going to be that interesting. Instead you're going to sound like some sort of sniveling twit and I'm not going to be interested in your further works.

Sellevision is Augusten Burroughs' first book, a novel of the standard fictional variety. Set in a fictional home shopping network, Sellevision follows a few months in the lives of the network's lead hosts. Max has just inadvertantly exposed himself during a children's toys segment and is left looking for a new career. Peggy Jean is a tightly wound mother with a stalker fixated on her hairy ear lobes, a husband with eyes only for the nubile teen next door and a burgeoning valium/alcohol abuse problem. Bebe is a compulsive shopper (and the network's highest-rated star) who is dating a man who seems far too good to be true and Leigh is dating a man is who is definitely not good- Howard Toast, the head of programming for Sellevision.

In a fashion that reminds one of no one so much as Douglas Coupland, Burroughs builds the hilarity by slow degrees until the last thirty pages when everything comes together in a gut buster of a belly laugh. In fact, I don't think I've ever laughed harder at the last sentence of a book before; it was like the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae. Still amusing a decade after publication, Sellevision seems like a moment frozen in time. A moment where Augusten Burroughs stood atop a precipice and had to decide whether to keep up the arduous work of actually creating fictional characters or whether he should pillage his semi-interesting adolescence for uncomfortable anecdotes about psychologists finding signs in his morning bowel movements. Oh, what might have been!

[Benjamin Siess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book quite a bit, but it had two pretty big problems.



1. There are too many characters for so small a book. It was only towards about page 180 that I figured out that Trish and Leigh were two different people. I had somehow combined them into one super character in my head until that point. I'm sure that this specific problem didn't occur for many, but it is just an example of how confusing it can be to introduce six main characters within a span of 50 pages. The big characters were Max and Peggy Jean. He should've either stuck with them or made this a 400 page book.



2. It took awhile for the action to start. I felt that there were too many references to the Selevision inventory and inner workings. I understand that he was trying to be detailed and draw us into the "world of home shopping", but instead it just made the pace drag. Once he cut the rate of the references down about a quarter of the way through the book, it was a lot more enjoyable. The meat of the story was the characters and once he focused more on them, it got really good.



This book was extremely funny. I found it to have more frequent laughs than his non fiction stuff. I gave it four stars because I wouldn't have a problem with reading it again. I hope Burroughs gives fiction another try.

[Vincent · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like to watch HSN. I find it soothing. The constant happy banter and steady flow of flattery relaxes me. Even the jewelry showcases; though what I really prefer is the gadgets and only the garish women’s wear. It’s like white noise for the soul. So when my friend Justin recommended Sellevision to me it was a no-brainer to pick up. Unfortunately the book was also a no-brainer.

I thought you couldn’t go wrong with the premise but you can and Borroughs did. I know it’s a comedy but did everything have to be completely implausible and unfunny? wince-worthy throughout. You’ll see the plot points coming a mile away.

I read it through the end just to finish it and get it off my nightstand. Its one of those books that makes you wonder; maybe you too can be a writer.

Putting aside the lame set-ups and cardboard jokes the main character Peggy Jean Smythe really irked me. I think that Borroughs was going for caricature, he was going for over-the-top, but this character didn’t move or act in any believable way. Almost every action either made me grimace or scratch my head in confusion.

[Punk · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is exactly as shallow as the people in it. The story revolves around Sellevision, a home shopping network like QVC, and the people who work there, or, in the case of Max, no longer work there. It's a trashy, unengaging read, and the POV is staggeringly inconsistent. The opening lines give you a pretty good idea about how the rest of the novel works: "You exposed your penis on national television, Max. What am I supposed to do?"

This book is filled with cliches. Several times I found myself thinking, No, he wouldn't. That's too obvious. And then, yes, he did. Every plot twist is visible from a mile off.

One star. I think I'll stick with Burroughs' non-fiction after this.

[Eric Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally gave this book a 3 star rating but, as I was writing my review, I realized that all of my complaints were actually just proofs-of-concept. I wanted to complain about shallow characters that I didn’t connect with but the book’s called “Sellevision” and it’s about superficiality and consumer culture. I wanted to complain about how cynical it is and out of sync with the current time period, but I had to take a break to order something from Amazon. I wanted to complain about Burroughs portraying the porn industry and teen sex abuse too lightly, but aren’t looks, sex, youth, and innocence just other products we consume? Ugh.

This book is a quick read and entertaining - when it doesn’t make you feel like shit for participating in all the things Burroughs is criticizing. And that is why it is only a 4 (maybe a 4.25-4.5) because don’t I have enough things right now to feel awful about? Doesn’t it make me sad that 20 years later we are still struggling with all the same bullshit (shinier and more convenient bullshit, but still). Mr. Burroughs, I took a point off because your book made me feel worse about myself. And even though that says more about me than you, don’t I have the right to punish those that hurt me? Thank you for showing me the way Leigh.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I barely made it through Running with Scissors years ago, but wanted to give Burroughs another chance to redeem himself. Alas, he failed yet again. I do not understand why everyone loves his books and thinks they are so wonderful--what am I missing? This story was mildly amusing at some parts and even though I know it was supposed to be a farce, a mockery of the industry in which he writes about, it still felt like he was trying too hard. Different title, different book cover, same crappy disaster.

[Indya · Rating 2 out of 5]

Whilst some of the characters in this had somewhat interesting plots and development, I cannot get over the married man with two kids who left his wife for a 17-year-old girl who was into kinky sex and once tried (successfully, I think) to have sex with her own father when she was 12. Sickening.

[Jackie Stargrove · Rating 4 out of 5]

This may be the most accurate time capsule of the culture of the late 90s/Y2K era I’ve ever seen. I prefer Borroughs as a memoirist, though.

[Madeline · Rating 4 out of 5]

Augusten Burroughs is one funny guy.

I’m pretty sure I’ve read all of his books, now.

But, I’ll go look.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Welcome to Sellevision! In an era when all your shopping can be done from your couch comes the premiere retail shopping network, complete with its collection of on-air personalities. Each host has their own personal story and collection of foibles, some of which Burroughs develops into vignettes, amusing the reader as he spins tribulations out of the most vapid situations. From the host whose live crotch cameo cost him his job to the woman who thought she could secure a position at Sellevision by sleeping with the boss, there is nothing that Burroughs considers out of bounds, allowing these hosts to stumble along and find their own ways. With any celebrity comes a collection of fans who become obsessed, some to the point of writing and pointing out minute flaws that might best be addressed before the next on-air appearance, which can only push some to the brink of insanity, as is depicted by another host, though she can barely see the forest for the trees. Burroughs seeks to personify those who make their living in front of the camera, even if the depths of their celebrity comes from speaking about the latest earrings or bangles. In this poignant poke at the faux-drama and importance of on-air shopping, Burroughs delivers something to cut the tension out of any busy day.

Having recently discovered Augusten Burroughs, I was drawn first to his memoir trilogy, which opened my eyes to the pains and struggles the author faced. However, in the third volume, there is much mention of this book, his first experiment into the world of published writing. The attentive reader who has also tackled the memoirs will see parallels from Burroughs' life in this story, with some of the same humour he offered in that personal writing. There is no doubt that Burroughs thumbs his nose and mocks on-air shopping, but it is equally apparent that he wants to tell a story of a collection of people who must face their own issues and process things in their own manner. With wonderful characters and zany humour, Burroughs offers the reader a break from the heavier reading out there or the NYT acclaimed novels while adding his own flavour to the lighter side of life.

Kudos, Mr. Burroughs for this look into the life of those whose greatest worry is pancake foundation and missed director cues.

Like/hate the review? An ever-growing collection of others appears at:
http://pecheyponderings.wordpress.com/

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here's the ins and outs of a home shopping network cast of characters, as told via the warped perspective of the man who gave us Running with Scissors.

Things are humming along nicely for everyone at Sellevision when one fine day, one of the senior hosts accidentally exposes himself during a live segment aimed at children and their parents. Turns out to be the beginning of a major downward spiral for the network. Shortly after, another host finds herself the target of a stalker and becomes progressively (and hilariously) unhinged. A third exposes her boss/lover live on the air during a Simulated Ruby Sensations segment, and the fourth, a compulsive shopper, finds love in an unexpected place.

This one is a wicked romp that manages to skewer television/film personalities, shopping culture, NYC culture, suburbia, religion, 12-step programs, and a host of other sacred cows. Those are the book's strengths. The main weakness is that it leans a little too hard on the train-wrecky side of absurdity in places--there's a definite sense of "what more can I pile on here?" just for the sake of it, in other words. But it's still fun.

[Stephanie Wagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely hilarious. I recommend listening to the audiobook because a lot of the fun came from the very talented narrator.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I respect and thoroughly enjoy Burroughs yet this book screams first novel and it is. The characters are over the top and outrageous, just as I would hope Burroughs would write them yet there is a brilliant comedic heart missing in this fiction. His memoirs are weighty and sincere in their bitter humor. He is genuine and rich in his other work. There is no question that Augusten is a tremendous writer- I simply find that when writing from the heart, he is something more than from the imagination.

[Barbara Nutting · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the beginning................this is Mr Burroughs first book - not a memoir, but a total spoof on the home shopping scene. Like reading a Saturday Night Live sketch!

I can finally see his humorous side in this tale of TV “stars” beyond the cameras. I loved the whacky characters, perfect parodies. The final line had me laughing out loud!

As usual, he dwells on graphic, off-the-wall sex, but I skipped right over it and concentrated on the humor instead! Although this wasn’t a memoir, many of the things he has actually experienced came through in this fictionalized version of QVC!!

[David · Rating 1 out of 5]

I think (?) this was Augusten's debut novel, and frankly, I'm surprised they gave him a second chance after this one (which would have been a shame, because I normally get a big kick out of his humor and writing style)! It is a disjointed conglomeration of narratives of vapid shopping network hosts absurd lives. It's awful. I've read 'Kindle First' books that were better than this, and that is not a compliment.

[Tony · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has been on my TBR list for years. I was reluctant to read his first novel, but that was clearly stupid. It was such a fun little book following a few characters all connected to a shopping network. It was such a good read with entertaining characters and situations. I would highly recommend it for a quick, scandalous escape.

[Rebecca Kitchens · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were several funny parts and good insights, as expected from Augusten Burroughs.

However, there were chances for growth and decency for characters near the end that I don't feel were taken advantage of. I feel like his biases were loud, which works better/makes more sense in his memoirs.

This is a fun read, though! It kept me interested and made me smile several times. He will always be one of my favorite authors.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more of a 3.5 but I did enjoy it! Very odd sometimes but really funny and enjoyable. It felt very episodic which is exactly what this book needed. Also, it’s very much a product of its time and I will add that there is one storyline in here I LOATHED. Without that, it would’ve been a 4 star easily. My favorite storylines were Peggy Jean’s and Bebe’s. Really interesting book that was a quick read!

[Dennis Holland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Outrageously over the top satire that goes behind the scenes of home shopping. A relentless and shameless commentary on greed and celebrity with pop cultural references you “aughts” to remember.. or maybe “noughties?” ; )

[K R N]

(I'm only about half way through this, but..) After reading a bunch of memoirs by Augusten Burroughs (including a couple that mention writing this), it is so cool and interesting to read this novel. It would be fun anyway, but it's incredibly interesting to see how he included his knowledge of gems and advertising, and how he touches topics that he mentioned in other books like online dating. I could see tiny aspects of his thinking, or thinking he's mentioned from his friends, in aspects of these characters. (How often do you get to know this much about someone's life when you read a novel they've written, unless you know them personally?)

All of the mentioning of brand names and general commercial stuff, just style-wise, reminds me a little bit of something I read by David Foster Wallace, but I can't remember what. But in this setting of Sellevision, that totally goes with the setting and story, it's not glommed on (not that it was glommed on by DFW... honestly can't remember).

[Ayla Chisholm · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a wild ride. Incredibly funny by times, but also very crass and dark. I would definitely check the trigger warnings before reading as I was very surprised at some of the content. There were parts that I had a very difficult time reading, but overall I really enjoyed the story line.

[stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fast, enjoyable read. Like brain candy -- shallow, funny at times, and easily digestible.

[Jenell Bakey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A ridiculous parody of home shopping networks. Not the best book I've ever read, but certainly memorable and entertaining.

[Lucy Triebel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this very entertaining to listen to.I enjoyed all the shenanigans.

[Gila · Rating 2 out of 5]

I find Augusten Burroughs's writing style very entertaining, and while I adore his books, this one was just meh for me.