The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate in Ultimate Popsugar Reading Challenge

Feb 13, 2016 Anastasia rated it liked it

Shelves: 2016, non-fiction

I think there's some validity to his ideas about the different ways people want to connect and feel valued. However there are a whole lot of issues a couple could be having that wouldn't be solved by "learning to speak your spouse's love language ". If you're at all a non-traditional person, it may be difficult to see yourself or your situation in his book, which is written with a focus on heterosexual, Christian, married couples, and embedded in a bunch of Bible quotes and stories about Jesus. ...more

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Jan 31, 2009 Beth Given rated it really liked it

I read this book quite awhile ago, when my husband and I first were married, but my new book club chose this for February's read, so I thought it was time for a re-read. It was definitely worth the time, both then and now.

It's probably no secret that while one woman probably appreciates flowers from their spouse, another would sooner have him tackle the laundry or dinner on her behalf. Chapman further enumerates the different ways we express love into five "love languages." He then explains that I read this book quite awhile ago, when my husband and I first were married, but my new book club chose this for February's read, so I thought it was time for a re-read. It was definitely worth the time, both then and now.

It's probably no secret that while one woman probably appreciates flowers from their spouse, another would sooner have him tackle the laundry or dinner on her behalf. Chapman further enumerates the different ways we express love into five "love languages." He then explains that we should learn to "speak" our spouse's love language in order for them to feel loved past the introductory "in-love," honeymoon stage of a relationship.

I thought it was interesting to re-read this book, having come out of that "in-love" stage. When I read this for the first time, we'd only been married six months or something, and I had the hardest time deciding whether my love language was Words of Affirmation or Quality Time: I loved it when my husband complimented me and encouraged me, and yet I loved to hang out with him after we were done with work and school for the day. Now, this is going to sound terrible, but stay with me -- I think I just wanted to hang out with him constantly because I was still in the "in-love" stage of our relationship. Don't get me wrong; I love to spend time with him and talk to him (he is my best friend). But what really makes me feel loved these six years later is when he mentions how good the house looks or how tasty dinner is. I prod him into reading my blog or looking at the pictures I posted online because I want him to praise me in my hobbies. Just recently, he sat and watched me scrapbook at the computer for twenty minutes, murmuring occasionally how adept I was at Photoshop, and that really set my spirits soaring.

Besides learning something new about myself, it was good to re-read this book to reaffirm the best way to love my spouse -- and consider how I might best express love to my children.

If you haven't read this book (or haven't read it recently), it's definitely worth your time. It's pretty short and Chapman is adept at teaching through dialogue (it reads like a story, in some places) and not droning on unnecessarily. And, in the end, you will find yourself making a conscious effort to grow your love with your spouse and children -- a very worthwhile investment. ...more

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Oct 14, 2011 Chelsea rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction

Definitely not what I was expecting. The whole concept behind the (many $$) books written by Gary Chapman is that each of us communicate love in different ways. He provides questionnaires in which spouses can figure out in which type of "language" they experience love. The other spouse then is to attempt to provide their mate with this type of love. The five languages are
1. Gifts
2. Quality time
3. Verbal affirmation
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch

I was way suprised by the book's Christian me ...more

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Sep 18, 2016 Debbie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

As an atheist, I found myself skimming over the Jesus references, but overall, I liked the emphasis on communicating with your spouse in a way that is meaningful and emotionally satisfying to them.

My husband and I are good at expressing our love for each other, but I certainly saw a few ways that we could be communicating more effectively.

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May 22, 2019 Korie Brown rated it liked it · review of another edition

Good insights, but very lightweight. I agree with those who found the author too self-congratulatory. I also found a faint whiff of Christian and/or heteronormative bias, which I found off-putting. I was expecting more.

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Sep 07, 2010 Angie rated it it was amazing

This is a very eye-opening book about the way we communicate our love to our spouse (and I'm applying the information I learned liberally with my children, too, as I await the Five Love Languages of Children book to arrive!) I found the case studies to be great illustrations of Chapman's teachings, and the writing and teaching style of the book was easy to read and understand. I definitely found value in reading this book and anticipate it doing nothing but improving the way I communicate my lov ...more

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Jan 02, 2017 Chris Friend rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Clear, simple, and surprisingly brief. Author gives examples and explanations that are helpful rather than discussions to inflate his own ego. I'm impressed. ...more

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Apr 06, 2014 Mandy rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, interesting-non-fiction

A little too much religion for me, but overall, it's a very interesting concept. Theoretically it's nothing new but it made me think about my relationships and what I need from them vs. what other people need. ...more

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