From the Bookshelf of Book Riot's Read Harder Challenge…

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

Cheryl Strayed

Why we're reading this: An advice book that really responds to the question WTF WTF WTF in an authentic way (and that contains en…more
[close] An advice book that really responds to the question WTF WTF WTF in an authentic way (and that contains enough pithy statements to provide a few words to live by every day without ever seeming trite, cloying, or reductive).

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Sep 06, 2012 mehg-hen rated it liked it

Shelves: memoir, existentialcrisis, genderageidentity

I expected my life to fork into before reading this book and after reading this book. It did not. I decided the books I love most and have wanted to sew into my body were simply warm ups and after this book, my brain would lift out of my head, explode, come back together and I would be kinder, more honest, real, true, worthwhile, understood and on time. I would find the antidote to personal mamby-pambyness, I would say "actually, you're fucking ignoring me, you know that?" in conversation and it I expected my life to fork into before reading this book and after reading this book. It did not. I decided the books I love most and have wanted to sew into my body were simply warm ups and after this book, my brain would lift out of my head, explode, come back together and I would be kinder, more honest, real, true, worthwhile, understood and on time. I would find the antidote to personal mamby-pambyness, I would say "actually, you're fucking ignoring me, you know that?" in conversation and it would be well received and improve my life. I would never be nervous again.

That is too much expectation. I got so excited that I half read parts of this online, in bookstores, I read all of the reviews, I saw her poster, I learned the history of Dear Sugar and I read her memoir Wild. My friend showed me the book and I got a little bit mad that she didn't give it to me because I wanted it so badly. I almost bought it twice.

I have decided that what you wish will happen tells you something about your problems. This is probably so painfully obvious we should all jump off cliffs. At a time of really profund desperation an acquaintance who was becoming a friend invited me to dinner in a nonchalant way. I was so convinced she was a) setting me up with Spike Jonze and b) that Spike and I would always laugh about how we met and our wedding and I would say "it's crazy because I really didn't expect this" that I bought the most expensive ice cream I have ever bought--three pints. And this was Williamsburg, Brooklyn, so it was like made by some organic Italian and put in artisianal containers etc. etc. bullshit. I could not afford it. But whatever--we could all sample it and talk about the containers and Spike could get surprised that I liked pistachio, just like him, and we'd laugh shyly and through some complex internet something, we'd reconnect later and build a life of profound understanding and shrug and say humbly and knowingly to desperate assholes living in basements and unable to find work or afford ice cream "hey, you never know what life will bring you." On the way there, I wept actual, public, human tears of relief that I was going to meet Spike Jonze and that friendship and love are real. Well. He was not there because WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT. I was surprised and confused and disappointed. My friends were confused by me bringing 3 too-nice pints of ice cream for three people, and the point of the dinner was to tell me that they were moving. That is the same expectation I had for this book. So. That is not realistic.

Instead, come at this book with like "meh, it's fine" and I bet you will like it.

I do like that she tells stories about herself. It feels like she's saying "I hear you, I understand you, lemmie give you proof." ...more

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Sep 29, 2016 Laine rated it really liked it

Loved it. So much wisdom!

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Nov 14, 2014 Melle rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction, relationships, friendship, advice, epistolary

This was an emotionally-difficult read. The gamut of life's problems is here, with people laying every kind of pain and hurt down, and Sugar has compassion, understanding, and the voice of a trusted friend who loves you enough to tell you the ugly bits in a way that doesn't add to the suffering, even when it cuts to the bone. This is the kind of book that will make you sad and angry and despair but also delighted and hopeful and wanting to be a better person. This is one of those books that belo ...more

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Aug 26, 2012 gwen g rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Don't let the subtitle of this book fool you -- it's not cheesy, and it's not really advice, exactly. Collected all together, these columns are more like a non-chronological autobiography, and they're lovely. Strayed's own life is fascinating, and her empathy and compassion shine through every word. I definitely want to read her "real" autobiography, and I think I'll like it even better.

(Thanks for the recommendation, Carla!) ...more

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Aug 09, 2012 A. V. rated it it was amazing

Oh, Sugar. Sugar Sugar Sugar. Cheryl Strayed illuminates human experiences and struggles in the most acute way with precision and compassion. What becomes clear as you read along most importantly, is how to love and be loved better; whether a little bit or completely. Isn't that all any of us is ever looking for? ...more

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Jun 30, 2017 Ryan rated it really liked it

Shelves: audiobooks, borrowed, 2017

We are all putting on bright smiles outwardly while we wrestle with some really complex situations internally. Sometimes what makes a person the best outlet to help us through it is just that: a willingness to be an outlet...to listen, remember their own hidden complex situations, and gently say "you're not alone" ...more

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Oct 13, 2012 Stephanie rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2012

I found this book frustrating. I usually love advice columns but this was mostly Sugar responding to letters by calling people annoyingly cute endearments (if I read 'sweet pea' one more time I was going to scream) and then telling stories of her own life and how it was much worse than the questioner's situation. I read the whole thing but the pattern just kept repeating.

"The Ghost Ship That Didn't Carry Us", though, moved me to tears.
http://therumpus.net/2011/04/dear-sug... ...more

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Feb 05, 2013 Renata rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, essays, grownup

I LOVE Sugar. I'd already read most of these online at The Rumpus, but I still enjoyed the experience of re-reading them.

Sugar is so, so wise.

(If you're not familiar with Sugar, why not do yourself a favor and read her advice to her younger self? Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.)

And then read the whol ...more

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Aug 21, 2013 Ruth rated it it was amazing

Shelves: ebooks

Read it. Now.

This is one of the few books I've read in the past few years that I have a strong desire to physically own. I know I will return to it many times in the years to come. ...more

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Jul 26, 2015 jenn rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2015

Duck, duck, grey duck! This book has everything.

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Jun 06, 2014 Ally rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2014-challenge

I consider myself a bit of an advice columnist aficionado and I've never read advice like this. It simultaneously bowled me over and filled me with a sense of calm. I loved every bit of this book, which is even more ironic given my lackluster feeling about Wild. ...more

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