Nathan’s
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(group member since Nov 02, 2012)
Nathan’s
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from the Get to Know Nathan Daniels group.
Showing 41-60 of 81
ARTICLE:A Look At Step-Parenthood
It's a demanding position to be in that requires a lot of sacrifice, but it can be done, and it can be done well. Just not without real love.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7272296
I hear and see what is not there.I pound my fists and pull my hair.
I talk too loud to trump the noises
—chaotic, screaming, inner voices!
I seldom eat and never sleep.
I rarely laugh. I always weep.
I bite my knuckles —scream in silence.
I cut myself to quell the violence!
CLICK TO FINISH ~ http://a.allpoetry.com/poem/10162339-...
ARTICLE:Writing Helped Save My Life
"I found a pen instead, neglected in the back of a drawer. I picked it up and held it... it grounded me. I ignored the intrusive, graphic vision I had of plunging the ballpoint into my upper thigh, and I started to write instead."
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7243149
JOURNAL ENTRY (I Want To Die)“Things scurry about on the floor, descend from the overhead beams, and buzz about the room. I have a single candle burning on the edge of my desk, making slithering shadows dance around me, with its flickering flame.
I can hear every creak and stretch of the house in the night, and my tired mind is playing tricks on me. I do my best to ignore the things that aren't real and just keep writing… but it’s hard.”
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF“I'm in the hospital right now, searching for help. I have a substantial list of disorders that have plagued me in various combinations, and various degrees throughout the majority of my existence.
Four times now, I've had my life interrupted and threatened by these ailments. Twice now, I’ve been here... in a room that locks from the outside, staring out a window that's sealed shut.”
JOURNAL ENTRY (Exploring My Mistake)“Depression set in and suicidal thoughts had begun peering up at me from the bottom of my soul. I stopped bodybuilding, and went from eating six healthy meals a day, to eating just once every day or two.
I began dropping an average of ten pounds a month and smoking more weed and cigarettes than I had in a long time. I was cutting myself on a regular basis again, and having auditory hallucinations... strange whispering sounds that I knew weren't real.”
MARIJUANA AND MADNESS“Andy's mother had called his cousin early that morning to tell him that I had some irate parents back in Hopedale fuming over my irresponsible actions.
I had neglected to collect permission slips for my impromptu field trip. She wanted him to tell me that a couple of them had called the police. That morning I had a nationwide A.P.B. out for my arrest. The charge... kidnapping!”
JOURNAL ENTRY (Leaving the Hospital)“I would try to ignore the cops, but they would threaten to break my door down! When I would let them in, finally, they were always nice to me. They would ignore my bongs and the pot smoke permeating the air.
They complimented my pencil sketching’s and admired my collection of medieval weaponry, while I sat nervously on my couch wondering if I was going to be taken away. There was never an arrest, and eventually they left me alone. I think they genuinely wanted to make sure I was all right and nothing more.
I wasn't.”
MY BEST FRIEND“I began experimenting with pot a couple of months before my mom passed away. I was out all the time with my friends, smoking weed and hiding from reality, as I’ve mentioned before.
I tried to forget about the hospital bed in our apartment, where the shadow of my best friend waited patiently to die —a skeleton under a thin sheet, wheezing through dry, cracked lips beneath sunken eyes and a hairless skull.”
JOURNAL ENTRY (The Wedding)“The sunlight crashed through the stained glass windows and sent colors flying through the air before me. The notes from the monstrous pipe organ stomped on me and made me wince.
Voices became hostile and gained weight inside my head forcing me to brace myself. It was an angry choir yelling and screaming at me as I resisted the urge to take flight from the holy nightmare.”
JACK-OF-ALL-TRADES“I loved the smell of sawdust, and the sound our power tools made. I might have been happy to keep doing that forever, but my mom passed away and I became increasingly fucked up.
I took some time off when she died, but when I tried to go back to work, I was only able to hang on by a thread for a short time. I was depressed, and never slept. I was constantly telling my boss that I couldn't make it to work and he eventually had to let me go.”
JOURNAL ENTRY (The Birthday Party)“I was imagining the skating rink with its multi-colored strobe lights, disco balls, and pounding music that would dilate my ear canals with each rhythmic thud. There would be a hundred kids screaming and laughing, while their parents itched for empty conversation.
I had to sit on the edge of my bed, and rock back and forth, just thinking about it… I had to try though.”
THE STRANGER IN MY HOUSE“Other kids worried that the boogeyman caused the things that go bump in the night. I wondered if the noises I heard were my dad bludgeoning mommy with a hammer, or her gasping for air beneath his strangling hands.
These are the things I dreamed of, and the terror and exhaustion I suffered lead to my problems going to school, and planted the seeds for a lifetime of insomnia.”
JOURNAL ENTRY (Another Wedding)“In a moment of clarity, I know I need to get outside, and ask Nancy if she can help me. I couldn't find Hailey. I didn't dare look out at the maddening dance floor again, where people appeared to be devouring each other.
I felt like letting out a loud scream, but swallowed it instead, along with my pride and dignity. Hey, look everybody... the freak show’s about to lose it again.”
A POEM (Lycanthrope)“I watched one of my mom's favorite horror movies the other night, An American Werewolf in London. It's an older movie, but the special effects were good for the time. I could almost feel the pain that guy was experiencing when he transformed for the first time.
I remember lying on a couch thirty years ago, with my mom's arms wrapped around me, watching the same film. Her protective embrace is so distant to me now. The monster dies at the end, and I felt the sickest sense of envy.
Nobody could blame me for killing myself if I were a werewolf.”
HE-MAN, BRUCE LEE, AND HULK HOGAN“The mother fucking World Wrestling Federation was calling to tell me that they loved my audition tape, and would be sending me an official invitation package to go to the big city as a semifinalist.
Over four-thousand people sent in tapes, and less than four hundred received invitations. I was one of them, and my dream was alive and well again.”
JOURNAL ENTRY (Officially Unemployed)“I've been avoiding crowds, and staying in the van when we go out. Even though I feel good now, I'm concerned the reality of our current bleak situation is sneaking up on me. It's hiding just around the corner, waiting to blind-side me with the force of a tidal wave, and knock me into oblivion.
I haven’t blacked out in a while, or had any serious episodes, but I remain leery of my psyche.”
