Library Lady 📚 ’s Comments (group member since Feb 16, 2014)

Library Lady 📚 ’s comments from the Beta Reader Group group.

Emma wrote: "I always check the reviews they have left for other books. If they are thoughtful, and they often read your genre, you could be onto a winner.
Saying that, I will be having a beta read available so..."

I do that here on Goodreads, but this was a different site, so there weren't any reviews to check. I also like the "Good Beta Readers" thread in this group, but it can be hard to find those people, too.

Barbara wrote: "Not, indeed! ;) I sent a novella to another author asking her to check my character from her country, didn't hear from her and when I asked (after I betaread her fantasy novel...) and she said "Ah,..."

Guess I'm not alone then! Sounds a lot like what happened with mine. I'd rather someone try to rewrite it than not say anything at all!

The time frame wasn't really an issue, as I wasn't in a huge hurry. The one who had no comments took several months, but I didn't mind that. I was upset that he didn't give ANY feedback and ignored the questionnaire I sent afterwards to see if I could get SOMETHING so I'd know where to start.

Next time maybe I'll start with a chapter swap. I figured authors would be more 'equal' since we're each doing a favor for the other. Guess not!

Don't mind me, I'm just venting my frustration :)

Maybe if I'd had one 'uneven' swap it wouldn't have been a big deal, but having 2 left me without much to work with when trying to do edits.

@Barbara, I might have been tempted to believe it was excellent if all my betas had said so. But obviously one couldn't even stand to read the whole thing it was so bad! Lol...

Live and learn, I guess. On to find better suited matches.

I always try to find both readers (who do not write) and other authors because I like to get both perspectives in my feedback. I hadn't done swaps before, so I guess I had too high expectations. I guess I thought it would be more like paid beta reading, where you KNOW you'll get thorough feedback, since they're getting something out of it as well.

It would have been one thing if they'd both had the same complaints. But I *know* it wasn't good enough to receive a 'no problems' because it was only a second draft. And the person who DNF--that's fine for a review, IMO, but since I critiqued her entire MS, I had assumed we were swapping edits on the entire book.

That's probably true. It's so hard to find a good match that it can be discouraging. I did send a questionnaire to one of the authors, but I'm going to use this group next time and see if I find more compatible swaps.

I don't have an answer for this, but I was just wondering what other authors have done when you feel like you put a lot of work into a swap and your partner didn't?

I haven't done a swap in this group, and I've been lucky to find some great betas. If a beta reader doesn't offer much feedback, I figure they're doing me a favor, taking time to read for me, and anything they offer is a bonus.

But I've done 2 beta swaps with authors on another site where I didn't get much feedback. I give detailed feedback and always read the whole book, even when it has a lot of problems. One of my betas just said it was good, he didn't know anything he'd change. After receiving my feedback, the other author said she only read about 1/4 of the book and didn't want to continue(she did give good feedback on that 1/4, but it's hard to know how the plot works if your reader doesn't finish).

Besides not using that site again (which I may not after my 2 experiences), I'm not sure I can do much. But I expected feedback on writing issues, since it was from another writer's perspective, rather than a reader perspective. If you've had a similar problem before, what did you do?

Paula wrote: "I can help comment that I've never seen book cover design prices at $25 and $40 dollars. Maybe they are the ones that are pre-made template covers? Most all good designs are about $150 plus and and..."

It depends on what you want. If you want a photo on the cover, it will likely be from a stock site whether you get a $150 design or a $50 premade. Premades can be cheap but some also look really nice (and yes, some look completely amateur).

I commissioned a graphic designer for mine. They have been anywhere from $100-$200 depending on how much work she put into them to get them exactly as I envisioned. But it was worth it, because I just tell her exactly what I want and she'll tweak until it's there.

I've also purchased premades from Humble Nations, which is the best site I know for professional looking covers at $40 a pop. They're great if you want to publish a short story or novella and need a cover but don't want to spend a ton on it.

I would rework the first sentence. I was completely lost and had to read it 3x before I understood what was going on.

Is this a romance or a thriller? Can give more advice if I know the genre. If it's romance, focus more on that. If it's a thriller, focus more on those aspects.

Hope that helps.

I like the voice, it's catchy. Agree with Thomas's comments about cutting the short paragraph. Also, the last line is not just vague, it's really awkward to read "it won't just BE one war BEING fought." So I would definitely make that something more catchy or scary, depending on the tone of your book.

The second one is better, but honestly, they are both a little dry. Is there any way you could spice them up a bit?

Agreed. A larger, simple font for the title might work better. And one color. The red for 'destiny' clashes with that of the rose and blood. Maybe you could use the eyedropper tool to color your font the same as the rose or blood if you want it red?

Oh, and I crossed out the brother and sister bc they disappear after the one mention. Did Dominic kidnap them, too? If so, mention it again, if not, I'm not sure what happens to them but it might be worth noting or leave them out altogether.

When Hailey pictures her last spring break before (high school? College? Make sure she's 18 if this is erotica) graduation she imagines warm water and bone-white sand, new adventures, and poolside boy ogling. Seven days in oasis with her brother and sister in tow feels like the start to a future that she’s never felt more optimistic about. Except, oasis wasn’t isn't what Hailey found finds while off the coast of Australia.

Dominic takes Hailey with a singular purpose—a need as strong as the will to live—but when the lines between abductor and abductee begin to blur, that purpose becomes less clear, leading Dominic in a tailspin of emotions long forgotten. Can Hailey piece Dominic back together or, will they crash and burn when the secrets he’s been harboring are revealed?

First paragraph: suggestions in text.
Second paragraph: I get that Dominic kidnaps Hailey, but I don't get why she is anything but terrified. You might mention what the 'one reason' he kidnaps her is, as well. Is it to rape her? If so, I'm not sure why she would want to fix him. I think you worried too much about not giving away your plot, and you haven't given us enough.

Hope that helps!

Two nit-picks: you drop Drew's and her dad's names in there without context.

Could change 'dad' to 'family'.

Also, it could use a little action in the last bit. It sounds like you have something really exciting that you're trying not to reveal. Coyness can be a turnoff for readers. If this happens at the beginning, describe it. Suck me in. If it happens near the end, it should be left out altogether.

After she tosses the rules aside, give us a really strong sentence or two about what she does.

"...her family's rules are tossed aside. Allira leaps into the fiery wreckage to drag her crush to safety. Only after she's saved his life does she realize it might be the most dangerous thing she's ever done..."

IDK the details, but something more dramatic to make a reader HAVE to know what happens next (or why saving her crush could be bad).

Fiona gave some really, really great comments that hit on most of what I was going to say.

I'm stuck on the accident part, too. At first I had to go back and check because I thought you meant that her brother foresaw the accident. But I'm guessing that she sees the crash and does something heroic, thereby NOT blending in as her father wants. Is that right? If so, I'd cut the crush. It doesn't seem important to the storyline.
But even if that's how she draws attention to herself, I still don't know why the institute is moving in.

I think your story sounds good, maybe just work on clarifying the blurb a little more so it tells more about your book.

I'm looking for some feedback for a m/m ya romance novel. It's about 60-65k words.

Content/trigger warnings: strong language, second-hand account of a suicide and bullying, sex, violence, and religious discussion between characters.

Please pm me for further details.

Thanks!

Dowell's wrote: "wow. I used swipe in my phone and it really screwed some stuff up and changed writing to whoring, but I hope you got my point."

I kind of liked 'whoring the same genre' lol.

Ralph wrote: "For the benefit of those of us who are new to beta reading, would it be possible to post some of these outstanding beta reports somewhere (so that we could download them and use them as models)?"

I don't know if beta readers would like that or not? And it would probably reveal a lot about the authors' book.

I have an extremely useful beta reading sheet I use when I do a beta read for someone.You can find it here (free, nothing to sign up for, and an amazing website for authors to browse as well). http://jamigold.com/for-writers/works...
(click on the image to enlarge)
I don't answer every question, but use the headings as guides to address. I always address each and every one of the headings, but not every question under the headings. Good luck on your beta reading journey!

Gretchen also read for me and was super fast, and even answered some follow up questions I bugged her with!

Thanks, Gretchen!