C.L.’s Comments (group member since Jan 14, 2017)

C.L.’s comments from the Navigating Indieworld Discussing All Things Indie group.

Thanks Carole! It needs Amy to add her inimitable quirk to it though. Also, Amy, I would put it through some line editing and consider a new cover - the cover says Sci Fi but it doesn't say SEXY sci fi!

I'm not sure that I 100% agree with Carole. It made me want to read the book too, it's true - it has Amy's style very clearly, sounds funny, and quirky. It made me want to pick it up. But I'm not her target audience. Modified is sci fi erotica and probably sci fi erotica fans would be her best audience.

I think that to focus on that audience, we'd need to take this up a notch or two. Throw in more of the eroticism/Fiona relationship stuff. I'm only half way through the book, but here's my stab at it:

Tall, handsome Dayton Bracknell likes to refer to himself as "Clueless Guy in Charge", but most of the women in the facility would probably call him "Heartbreak Waiting To Happen".

Far from the kinky clubs where he likes to spend his free time, Dayton is reluctantly heading up the Alliance’s unfinished medical facility on a moon. Although he is safe from impending war and a virus on the home planet, Day feels trapped and powerless in a job with a lot of nominal power, but very few responsibilities. But hey - they did give him the code to the vending machines, so that's something.

It's been a long time since he had some action, and he's having trouble keeping his feelings for the beautiful Fiona in check.

To make matters worse, Dayton is growing increasingly concerned by the experiments being run in the facility. The scientists are genetically modifying humans into super-soldiers, but the experiments are going terribly wrong.

Now the sex-mad, dangerous mutants are threatening to escape, and no one can make contact with the home planet. Can Dayton keep his employees safe? Can he pin his sex drive down to only one woman? Or will the insatiable libidos of the experiment subjects destroy everything?

Carole wrote: "C.L. wrote: "I'm more than half way through Amy J. Hamilton's Modified and it's a lot of fun."

I loved how Amy made it feel like you could be in a bureaucratic office anywhere. She..."

Yep, bureaucracy is bureaucracy, even in space with sex mutants.

M.K. wrote: "I've seen several articles like this before and I'm sure it won't be the last. One of the local arts magazines in my area recently published an article with a similar (false) conclusion that all se..."

Excellent point. Funny how Indie is respected in so many other kinds of arts, but not writing.

Amy wrote: "1. CL- Interesting that this trad published author doesn't have zillions of reviews.

Nope. I checked Amazon, too. I have more Amazon reviews than some of her books do, and one of them was published through Penguin.

She makes a lot of assumptions in the article which are just wrong:

1. That self publishers are people who couldn't get published through publishing presses so they just published themselves. False. I didn't get rejected a billion times, or even once. I never sent it out. I mean, publishers rejected JK ROWLING thirteen times. Like yours, Amy, my book is weird. Not "marketable". So I chose not to go that route.

2. That self publishing is the lazy way to go. Oh, heck no. It just means I had to pay for my own editing and book cover, and do the marketing myself. She didn't. Now who's lazy?

Also, I note that a lot of the negative reviews of her books on Amazon and Goodreads complain that she seems full of herself.

So...

Marie wrote: "That's a good point, Carole. I guess I expected anything from Big 5 to sell millions or even tens of thousands of copies, but I'm learning that books that achieve these figures are the exception, n..."

Yep, and the book companies only invest in marketing for proven authors (like King or Grisham). So, heck, even if you started out self published just to prove that your books could sell, it could increase your chances not only of getting a Big 5 publication on your next book, but getting actual marketing dollars spent on you.

I'm more than half way through Amy J. Hamilton's Modified and it's a lot of fun.

Aislinn wrote: "Personally, I think inflection (the way a character says something) is pretty important to both them as a character, and a particular moment. If a character only 'said' something, it means they are..."

The problem with frequent dialogue tags is that they can (note: CAN, not always DO) lead to lazy writing. Like, I could say,

"Edna, where are my pants?" he yelled.
"You threw them out the window in a fit of passion," she snapped.
"I don't remember that," he said worriedly. "Do you think my memory's going?"

But it's usually better to do something like this:
"Edna," Horace called from the bedroom, "where are my pants?"
Edna looked up from her knitting with an exasperated expression. "You threw them out the window in a fit of passion."
"I don't remember that... Do you think my memory's going?"

Or (usually the best plan): just trust your readers to intepret how the characters are feeling from the situation and let the dialogue stand on its own whenever possible.

"Edna," Horace called from the bedroom, "where are my pants?"
"You threw them out the window in a fit of passion."
"I don't remember that. Do you think my memory's going?"

That exchange works just fine without my interrupting it to tell you how to read it. Your readers have an imagination and if you set the scene and the actual words in the dialogue correctly, people can usually interpret how people are feeling.

But it depends on the situation. It's just a good tip to monitor for over-use or over-dependence on tags. But you don't have to delete all of them.

The most common thing I see in un-edited self pub books is comma problems.

Basic comma usage:

Whenever someone is being addressed, there should be a comma.

"Edna, have you seen my pants?"
not
"Edna have you seen my pants?"

At the end of dialogue, you end with a comma if you are following with a dialogue tag, not a period.

"You threw them out the window in a fit of passion," she said.
not
'You threw them out the window in a fit of passion." She said.
nor
"You threw them out the window in a fit of passion" she said.

Also, if the comma is in between two sentences that could stand on their own, that is a comma splice and you should either split the sentences up with a good period or use a semi-colon.

"I don't remember that. Do you think my memory's going?"
or
"I don't remember that; do you think my memory's going?"
not
"I don't remember that, do you think my memory's going?"

Commas are complex and it takes a good editor to find all the misuses but I see these three things OFTEN in self published books and it's a big flag that they haven't been edited. I'm prone to comma splices myself so it's a constant battle.

I looked up her books. One of them has almost the same number of ratings that mine has, but mine has been out for three months whereas hers was published over ten years ago. And her average rating is lower than mine.

Another of hers, published last year, has a third the number of ratings as mine, and also a lower average rating.

Sour grapes? Poor woman. She wants to believe that she's different from the rest of the struggling writers out there.

C.C. wrote: "C.L. Lynch's book Chemistry is absolutely hilarious.."

D'aw, thanks!

I've got a Goodreads Giveaway running! Three copies to give away!
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sh...

I like getting page reads - even on days when I don't have a sale, someone usually reads a couple hundred or more pages of my book and I know it's being read, and I'm getting paid.

I'm enjoying these, guys, keep 'em coming!

@Melissa - I'm phobic of dead bodies myself. Definitely don't have to be into zombies to enjoy the book, althought there is some gore, because... well... zombies. But one of them is very sweet and romantic.

Carole is it too late to contribute some books? Finally got my overdue shipment and the colour is a little off. Createspace refunded me so I have some free books I can afford to spread around.

For those who think Netgalley act too rich for their blood, you can get it for $45 a month (30 with membership) over at broad universe. I got a lot of great reviews from that.

Alexis wrote: "That's not a bad idea! If I had known this before, I probably would have made my first book a novella and given it away for free in exchange for emails. Its too late now =/
"

Def not too late. Mark Dawson has a big backlog of books now, and he gets new subscribers on Facebook by advertising two free books. He says that the average subscriber goes on to buy eight more of his books.

Re: waiting to release - I did this. I could afford to wait because the book wasn't exactly going to be a money maker anyway, and it's not like my next mortgage was relying on it. Better to do it right. So I sent paper ARCs three months in advance. That's how I landed the review from Foreword! And considering the exposure that should get me, plus the social proof from using a quote from the review in my advertising, I would call that well worth the wait. Ditto for listing it on Netgalley in advance - I launched with 15 or 20 reviews already on Goodreads.

Mark Dawson, who's featured in Forbes for his ability to move his books, believes that you should give your first book away - but sell it for an email address. Say you managed to get 10,000 people to download your book for free, and half of them read it and liked it, then when you publish the next book, you email them and boom, there's 5,000 sales.

I'm taking Mark Dawson's Self Publishing Formula course and it lays a heavy stress on building a good mailing list. He says to write several books, give one away in exchange for a mailing address, and if they like your book, they'll buy more of them and stay on your list. Then you can notify them whenever you publish a new book, or let them know when you need more reviews, etc.

Man makes $450,000 a year selling his books so he must be on to something.

Since I only have the one book out right now, my big goal is simply to capture those readers who liked my book so I can let them know when my sequel comes out. I'm writing free bonus content so the people who enjoyed my book and want more can sign up to get the free stories. That way they get something out of it, and I get their contact info so I can let them know when History (and eventually, the third in the series) comes out.

I know what you mean, Clint. Praise from objective strangers floors me. I had a recent review which said "Ms. Lynch can write" and it was the best praise I ever had. I think those are the very words we all need to hear.