Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Great stories Greg and Kalifer! I enjoyed them both!

Nicely done JF! I really enjoyed how different this story is.

The Second Voyage of Theseus – Part II

Alexi Littenov ricocheted off the boulder’s irregular surface, blacked out momentarily, then landed on his feet with a heavy metallic thud. It took a moment for the static clouding his vision to pass, but it slowly receded, revealing the effects of his handiwork. The enemy artillery battery sat in flames, utterly destroyed by a chain of devastating explosions ignited by the truck he had thrown upon it. Bodies were strewn about haphazardly like grotesque ragdolls. He inhaled deeply out of muscle memory reflex – for he had no real lungs. Sensors substituted for alveoli.
MISSION COMPLETE flashed before his eyes.
STANDBY FOR NEW TASKING.
New coordinates uploaded to his central cortex via a constellation of orbiting satellites.
SPITZBURGEN.
TERRORIST TRAINING BASE AND ARMS DEPOT.
TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE.
Littenov confirmed receipt of the new orders and began his leaping advance towards the unsuspecting village. Miles away and deep underground, members of the Defense Directorate watched and plotted his progress on a digital map. Seated far above the rank-and-file, two men smoked in an observation lounge, watching and waiting.
“Do you think he’ll do it?” asked the general.
“I personally oversaw his transfer to the new unit and completely overhauled his neural interface. He’ll follow orders.”
The general exhaled blue smoke in a show of incredulity.
“You doubt him then General? He’s the best you’ve ever had. It’s in his DNA – literally – to fight for our cause.”
The general cast a glance at the map.
“We shall see very soon, won’t we Herr Doktor?”
***
Dawn was breaking by the time Alexi reached the outskirts of Spitzburgen. He felt no fatigue and continued to marvel at the strength of his new unit. Nothing registered on his sensors as he scanned the nearest village structures for weapons. There was too much light for night vision, but he ran through the other optical and sub-optical spectrums to be sure.
Still nothing.
Not even any power signatures that might give away a cloaking field.
Accessing satellite imagery of the village, he noted a few buildings large enough to hold significant weapons caches. He engaged his own active camouflage and continued working his way around the village perimeter.
Primitive fences delimited grazing areas for a few bedraggled looking livestock, and a dilapidated windmill spun lazily to pump water and generate a meager power supply.
“This isn’t right,” Alexi thought to himself. There were no vehicles, no troop shelters, no comings and goings that would denote military activity.
He pinged the satellite constellation to confirm he was in the right place.
CONFIRMED.
Damn.
EXECUTE ORDERS scrolled from top to bottom across his visual interface.
Alexi briefly stiffened, then took a flying leap over a barn that blocked his path to the village center.
Landing in a crouch that prepared him for the next propulsive effort, he came face to face with a little boy whose look of shock and fear caused Littenov to decloak. He held up his hands to show he meant no harm, but his gleaming metal frame held only terror for the child.
“It’s okay,” he heard himself say. His own voice seemed detached, as if someone else were speaking.
EXECUTE ORDERS.
Negative. Civilians present. Alexi shook his head to try and clear the data flowing into it.
ALL OTHER PRIORITIES RESCINDED.
EXECUTE ORDERS.
“Want some candy?” asked the little boy, holding up a small confection.
“I, why, yes please,” Alexi stammered. Images of his wife and children played through the remaining biological portion of his brain.
The boy deposited the confection into Alexi’s large hand.
“Thank you…you run along now…”
Biology, bionics and programming all vied for control of Alexi’s next actions.
EXECUTE…
No!
ORDERS…
No!!!
OVERRIDE ENABLED.
RAZE ALL STRUCTURES.
TERMINATE ENTIRE POPULOUS.
EXECUTE.
Alexi’s cognitive processor shunted input away from the last biological vestiges of his humanity to the cold, calculating and obedient nanocircuits surrounding it.
Then, Alexi Littenov, the motherland’s most decorated soldier, pride of the infantry and hero of the people, executed his programming.
***
“You see, I told you Herr Doktor,” said the general, stubbing out one cigarette and lighting another. “There was still too much of his humanity left, even though it was only his brain in that new chassis.”
They both watched the live feed as Spitzburgen, and all who resided there, were efficiently erased from the map.
“I suppose you were right General. But now we’ve gained something very, very important.”
“And what’s that Herr Doktor?”
“A villain. A villain for our people to hate.”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2021
Reviews/critiques welcome

Thanks C!

Hello Jot, the May posts are up. Thanks!

Theme: The anti-hero's journey - What goes into the making of a super-villain?
Required elements: A point of no return, regret

Theme: The anti-hero's journey - What goes into the making of a super-villain?
Required elements: A point of no return, regret

Theme: The anti-hero's journey - What goes into the making of a super-villain?
Required elements: A point of no return, regret

Hi Paula!

I was only offering to narrate/produce the audiobook. The printed version would need to be compiled, arranged, lightly edited for spelling/punctuation, and finalized. Then I would begin the audiobook. Depending on how many stories it ends up being, it will take some time to produce the audio version. Editing on my end is for making clean audio, not for changing words or content.

Yes, I will write up May's challenge, post, then let you know.

Thx!

Justin

Hey Greg, do you want to do the honors for May? If not, I'm happy to come up with something. Or you can pick the theme and I'll pick the elements or vice-versa. Just let me know!

Thanks everyone!!! Much appreciated!

Well, I do narrate audiobooks and have produced them for Amazon's ACX platform. This makes them available on iTunes and Audible as well. You can hear my audiobook samples at justinsewall.com

So I could narrate and edit the selected stories, then upload it all into ACX when complete. You would just have to trust me with divvying up any profits that accrued since it would be through my account.

Just an option. It would take some time of course, depending on how many short stories are included.

Thanks so much Paula!! I went back and tidied up some grammar too. Good to review your work the next day to find those things.

The Second Voyage of Theseus

“Your transfer orders come through yet?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“How do you feel about it?”
“I don’t feel much anymore, you should know that by now.”
“But you must feel something.”
A long pause hung heavy between the two men, but neither seemed inclined to break it so silence reigned.
“You know it will be good for you,” resumed the first.
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it,” parried the second.
“Think of all the possibilities with this new unit. A fresh start for you – a reset as it were.”
“I suppose…I’m just tired.”
“Sure, sure, that’s entirely understandable,” said the first, trying to employ a sense of empathy that had long since withered away.
“But will it really be me?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“In the new unit…will it really be me?”
“Of course it will be you. Why do you say that?”
“You really have to ask? Just look at me.”
“Why…you’re magnificent! You’re one of our most decorated soldiers. You’ve earned this.”
“But there’s hardly anything left that’s original – and you should know, it’s all your handiwork. My family…friends…don’t even recognize me. I’m a regular walking Ship of Theseus.”
“It’s true, you have sacrificed a lot in the line of duty…”
“In the line of duty?” snorted the second. “I was drafted, grafted, diced, spliced, rewired, soldered and welded.”
“And you have served with honor and distinction.”
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe and it’s all up here,” the second pointed to his temple. “Now you’re saying it all comes with me to the new unit? No thanks. I’ve done my bit for king and country.”
“The transfer orders are irrevocable and there are still three years left in your term of service.”
“To hell with my term of service!”
The second smashed an armored fist on the table between them, leaving a significant dent. His companion did not flinch but simply smoothed the front of his suit jacket.
“This transfer is the first of its kind. Your new unit will make you faster, stronger, smarter, more capable – and more deadly, than any soldier in human history. You will utterly obliterate our enemies.”
“Me? All by myself?”
“You’ll have your new unit.”
“Stop it, you’re confusing me. You know my cognitive processor is damaged and you’re trying to take advantage.”
“When your three years are up, you will be allowed to retire. I can personally guarantee it.”
“No, I don’t think I will. I’m…” the second suddenly fell forward with a heavy crash of armor, completely crushing the table.
The first fingered a cognitive cutout switch in his pocket, then tapped his comm piece.
“Subject is unconscious and immobilized. Prep for immediate transfer.”
He turned to the figure sprawled beside him and ran his finger along the armored helmet, a mask that hid the wretched soul inside.
“I’m sorry my friend. You’re absolutely right. There really isn’t much of you left that's worth saving – except everything up here.”
The man left his companion without looking back.
***
Alexi Littenov awoke to the sound of chirping birds and soft sunlight filtering through his visor.
He felt rested.
He felt…new.
The last of a morning mist melted away, revealing a panoramic scene of rolling hills, beautiful mountains and a dense forest to his left.
Inhaling deeply, he smelled the rich soil and bed of pine needles that spread in every direction.
Strange figures began scrolling past his eyes. It took him a moment until he realized he could read it.
Coordinates.
Directions.
Orders.
Actions.
INCOMING!!
Explosions erupted around him, but Alexi leapt away, covering eight meters in one bound and twelve in a second. Instinctively, somehow, he knew where to go and what to do. He found the enemy artillery battery dug in on a hillside, lightly defended and easy prey.
Ballistic and beam weapons bounced off his glistening chassis, a towering, man-shaped form that stood three meters above the hapless sentries he cut down like a scythe through wheat.
The strength!
The power!
It was exhilarating!
He lifted a transport vehicle over his head to throw on top of the first battery when he saw it was leveled at him for direct fire.
The shell exited the barrel at the same instant the truck left Alexi’s metallic hands. He tried to leap away but the projectile struck him squarely in the chest.
Kinetic energy lifted him off his feet and he travelled backwards at increasing speed until colliding with a massive boulder.
“Only three years until…”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2021
Reviews/critiques welcome

It was a great meeting and I really appreciate you taking the time out of your trip to come and have lunch with me! So nice to finally meet you face to face!

Okay everyone, I can confirm and personally attest that Jot is a really nice guy. :)

It's a great story Jot!

Tom wrote: "Loved your story, Justin. Excellent imagery, strong emotion and good pacing."

Thanks Tom! It's interesting how you start with an idea in mind, then the story goes a completely different direction!

The Last Gunfighter

Tabor Fask mopped his brow with a dirty rag and paused behind a makeshift plow. The old mare hitched to it did not mind, and set to grazing on the spiky weeds at her feet. He looked back at his homestead, a mishmash of felled logs, scavenged wood, and metal. Yet it was solid, dry, and his wife had made up the inside into a comfortable abode. It was better than what most had, although the strange markings on the metal pieces always made him wonder. A thin wisp of smoke curled up and out from the stovepipe, a herald of something good to eat.

Suddenly, his son Jamie burst through the front door, scattering a few startled chickens. He laughed and chased them around the grass near their home. Fask waved and was about to resume plowing when the horse whinnied in the barn. It had the taint of panic he had learned to recognize long ago, a warning that the Metal Men were near. Fask looked around quickly, and sure enough, there were three of them. They stood motionless at his field’s most distant fence line, which bordered a dirt road leading into Town if you headed north, or to the Mine if you headed south. He waved to them in a friendly, casual way, but if they noticed the gesture they did not acknowledge it.

Fask gave a short, sharp whistle.
“Jamie!” he called, still watching the Metal Men.
“Yes Dad?” Jamie answered.
“Go inside with your mother.”
The boy looked up towards the road.
“Git now! Head down to the root cellar. She’ll understand.”
Jamie immediately ducked back inside.
Even from where he was, Fask could hear the heavy thud of reinforcing beams sliding into place behind the door – not that they would stop the Metal Men for long.

Before he could say or do anything else, they were upon him.
“Tabor Fask. Resident 2438117.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Yes, that’s me. What kin I do fer ya?”
“You have not reported for duty at the Mine as stipulated in the Agreement.”
“Well I told Foreman Ferny I was gonna need a few more days to bring my crops in and…,”
“That unit no longer serves. Any informal agreements made with it are null and void. Report for duty at the mine or face immediate deactivation.”
“Now wait a minute now, wait a minute,” Fask feebly protested. He mopped his brow again.
“If I don’t get these crops in we’ll starve…”
“That is no concern of ours. Your species’ terms of service are stipulated in the Agreement. Failure to comply equals insurrection which is punishable by death.”
“But…”
One of the Metal Men raised an arm towards Fask’s homestead. It began to hum and glow ominously.
“I only…”
A red beam discharged from the Metal Man’s arm with a sound of thunder. Before Fask could react, the homestead collapsed in flaming ruin.

“You murdered my family!” he screamed, hitting out at the nearest Metal Man to no avail. The trio remained motionless. Their polished, expressionless faces merely reflected his rage back at him. In that instant, something Fask thought he had lost long ago was reborn. It began burning deep within his breast, heat upon heat.
“I must get my horse,” he gasped.
“I cannot keep up with your walking,” he lied.
“We will wait five of your minutes.” Said the Metal Men in unison.
“Any delay…”
“Will result in my deactivation!” Fask spat the words back at the metallic trinity.
He stormed off towards the barn, throwing its door wide open. He moved quickly towards the back, and began rummaging under a pile of strange nets that mimicked foliage.
His heart pounded in his chest and ears.
Damn the Metal Men and all their kind!
Kicking open a large crate, he pulled out a long, dark tube and the piece that went inside it. He had tried this only once and was afraid of making a mistake. If he failed – well, he would see his family soon enough.
Hefting the tube on his shoulder, he walked back outside.
“Hey!” he yelled, waving at the Metal Men once again.
“I thought y’all might be interested in using this at the Mine.”
“We have no need…”
“It works real good for removing things. Watch this!”
Kneeling quickly, Fask sighted the tube and pulled the trigger.
The tube belched fire with a sound of thunder, leaving yet another burning crater in his now empty field.

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2021
Reviews/critiques welcome

Hello Jot and happy very belated birthday! And hello to all of my fellow writers here, whose stories I have enjoyed since joining the group in April 2017.

A little about me.
I'm 48, turning 49 in May. I live in Lake Stevens, WA, which is directly east of Everett, WA. I work for The Boeing Company as an internal communications specialist at the Everett Delivery Center, where we deliver all of our wide-body aircraft. As an aviation fanatic, I really enjoy seeing the airplanes fly. I've been working from home since March 2020.
I have six children, ranging from 19 to 7, five boys and one girl who is a Type I diabetic. Yes all the children are mine, at least that's what my wife keeps telling me.
I am an avid distance runner and obsessively track my mileage in an Excel spreadsheet. Since Jan. 1991 I've run over 11,100 miles - which is not as many as some people, and a whole lot more than most. :) I cannot find my mileage notebook from before that time, which vexes me.
I love the video game HALO and am waiting until the XBOX Series X becomes available again on Amazon so I can splurge on it with all of my carefully horded Amazon gift cards. Of course, I love science fiction. I also dearly miss my Montana Green 1992 VW GTI, which I sold before marrying my wife. She says it is the other woman in the relationship. (I will have another one some day!!!! Car, not wife.)

I deeply enjoy reading all of your stories every month and this writing is one of my very few creative outlets.
I write freelance articles through the web platform WriterAccess.com, and in all my free time I narrate and produce audiobooks at the speed of a moving glacier.
I worked at a movie theater all through high school and college, and it is still my most favorite job ever. I had a brief stint as a music host on 90.3 KEXP during college from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m.

My best to you all as 2021 continues to unfold.