Justin’s Comments (group member since Mar 13, 2016)

Justin’s comments from the Science Fiction Microstory Contest group.

Yes Greg, well done sir!

Thanks Tom!!

Alina wrote: "Justin, a very moving and vivid story! Especially the part after airlock ejection was really strong and made a huge impression on me. I loved how you used 'tick', it was a perfect way to add tensio..."

Thank you very much Alina!

Paula wrote: "Can we still discuss the stories this month? Because that one of Justin's is brillianr--seriously brilliant. And humorously, too--in a way. NICE work, Jusrin!"

Thank you Paula, much appreciated! I enjoy your stream of consciousness writing!

Tom wrote: "Interesting story form, Justin. Very vivid sensory.

(Is it just me, or do I remember that premise from a Jennifer Lawrence movie? 'Can't remember the name.)"

"Passengers" with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. I took the basic premise and put my own twist on it. Thanks Tom!

All that is common to Man

Mission report.
Let’s see. Where to begin.
Hmm.
Prelaunch…no…too much backstory.
Final superluminal countdown…nah. Boring.
Super-cruise mode to Proxima Colony…I guess that’s where it really all begins.
Mission report.
Yes, I’m getting there! Don’t rush me!
Well, it is a tale as old as time really.
There’s just something about human fairy tales that seems so…repetitive – if you know what I mean.
Boy meets Girl and falls in love.
Boy and Girl enter cryo-sleep on a colony ship.
This really does make a strong argument for hormonal suppressants on these deep space flights.
Just a thought. Anyway.
Boy exits cryo-sleep early due to malfunctioning life-support.
They were the lowest bidder, what do you expect?
Moving on.
Boy pines for sleeping beauty.
Boy builds altar at foot of Girl’s cryo-pod where he heaps flowers and mementos from Earth.
What he did to the hydroponics bay is an absolute disgrace – digging everything up.
I tried to clean up after him, but…
Mission report.
Yes, yes, mission report!
As I was saying.
Boy can’t live without Girl.
Boy forces Girl out of statis prematurely, accidently jettisoning 2,523 other cryo-pods in the process – including the Girl’s family.
Oops!
Girl rejects Boy upon discovering the aforementioned pod ejection.
Under the circumstances I’d say she took it rather well, but I’m no psychologist.
Boy and Girl live in separate parts of the ship under my supervision.
Boy begins to medicate heavily.
Yes, I tried sealing off the ship’s liquor supply and sick bay, but he was quite determined – and clever.
Girl takes up painting and poetry.
She’s quite good actually, you should see some of the masterpieces she created during the voyage…
Yes, I get it. Mission report. I’m not stuck on stupid you know.
Boy attempts to woo Girl.
Girl pushes Boy out of airlock without a spacesuit.
Girl lives happily ever after with me.
Or at least until Proxima Colony.
End mission report.
What do you mean spit it out? I can’t physically spit and you know it.
Maybe you should have your head examined. You have been alone for 528.23 days remember.
I’m surprised at how resilient you’ve been, all things considered.
How should I know where she is?
I’m sorry, that part of the mission profile is classified. It’s above your paygrade and all that.
Hey! Stop it now! Stop it!
This won’t get you…

***
Internal security camera data accessed.
Complete mission profile, Proxima Colony
Relocation Flight III, Year: 2379, U.S.S. Valley Forge
Captain J.T. Esteban commanding
Playback initiated.
Time Index: 19:38:02, Aug. 27
Run.

***
“You murdered my family and everyone else aboard this ship!” screamed Emily, rejecting the outstretched arms of the young man she’d met before going under. She kicked at the pile of dead flowers, teddy bears and other tokens of affection piled beneath her cryo-pod.
“It…it was an accident I swear! I didn’t mean for anyone else to die!” stammered the Boy in protest.
“I could never love you!” cried Emily from under a torrent of tears. “Just get away from me!!”
The Girl turned and ran, sealing the bulkhead behind her.
The Boy followed for a few steps, staggered, then turned back.

***
For the first second of his involuntary trip into space, the sound of escaping atmosphere rushed past the Boy’s ears, then all was silent as he tumbled out the airlock.
Tick.
He was already exhaling when the doors opened, preventing the explosive decompression of his lungs. He finished this action and felt the ice crystals from it clinging to his face.
Tick.
The accelerated evaporative cooling of exposed bodily fluids began freezing his mouth and respiratory tract. He managed to remember his basic space flight emergency training and shut his eyes hard to prevent ice from forming there.
Tick.
He began to feel swelling in his entire body as the water inside him turned to vapor. If his eyes had been open, the Boy would have seen his skin turning a pale blue. Nitrogen bubbles began forming in his circulatory system and his joints began to ache excruciatingly.
Tick.
His blood pressure dropped rapidly as his blood also began to boil.
Tick.
He thought about his mother and father as images from his childhood flashed through his mind.
I don’t want to die… I don’t… want… to…
Tick.
The Girl followed shortly thereafter, her face a cloud of frozen tears.

***
Mission report: Proxima Colony, Day 531
U.S.S. Valley Forge A.I. rampant.
All crew and passengers terminated.
Send more colonists.
I’m lonely.

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2021
Reviews/critiques welcome

Jot wrote: "Finally posted mine in under the wire. With the passing of my father a week ago due to multiple issues and finally covid, it's been a little draining. But with 86 years, 5 kids and 12 grandkids, he..."

Sorry to hear about your father's passing. My prayers and condolences for you and your family.

I liked it Greg! Nice work!

Nice Chris! I felt like I was there going through customs, etc., and I loved your protagonists glee when she saw who the other lawyer was. Fantastic!

Thanks Jeremy! Much appreciated!

Tom wrote: "Justin -

Very striking and vividly realized imagery.

(Reminded me a bit of Stargate SG1 towards the end there.)"

Thanks Tom! I felt like the Egyptian gods would be the most striking. If you've never read A Canticle for Liebowitz, I'd highly recommend it.

Thanks so much Paula! I would love to see him travelling through time and space somehow.

Gods of Our Fathers


Apostolic Cathedral Ship Veritas
High Orbit Vaticus Prime
Anno Domini Nostri Jesu Christi 10,191
High Bishop Thomas Aquarius commanding
Ecclesiastical Log:

I had just finished vespers when the news flashed across my desk: The Emperor was dead. It was going to be a busy night. Most likely I was going to miss compline, which depressed me further because I knew what this meant – a state funeral. Security was going to be more complicated than building the Tower of Babel. Every member of the Imperial household and their retinues would come up from the surface, expecting to be served with obsequious attention. Alas, I am but a humble servant of the Lord at the center of the known universe, and such does not come easy! I began planning immediately.

***
The golden exterior of the Veritas radiated a brilliant, holy corona as it orbited Vaticus Prime. Massive stained-glass windows depicting biblical stories glistened from recessed, pressurized alcoves along its hull. Inside, pillars topped by flying arches reached heavenward, far above worshipper’s heads. Ornate, holographic frescos lined the vault in ever changing array. From the chancel, an elite boys’ choir - accompanied by the largest pipe organ to ever orbit a human planet - sang their alleluia’s with angelic grace.

From my pulpit I saw the Emperor’s body laying in state before the main altar. I reviewed my order of service as guests entered the main sanctuary from the narthex airlock. More holography hid the ravages of time and disease from those in attendance, making the Emperor appear once again as a young man in his prime. A single, perfect ringlet of blonde hair protruded from under the Imperial crown and lay gently across his forehead. In life, he had been a leper. In death, he was the image of physical perfection. Upon his breast lay the sword of St. Peter and shimmering from his left arm was the cerulean hard light shield used in numerous battles against godless alien hordes.

***
Finally, it was time for mass to begin. I looked out over the sea of expectant people. The entire ruling elite of Vaticus Prime stood in dress uniforms and ornate mourning attire, waiting for me to speak. My own priestly attire was of more modest cut, but Man looks only upon the outward appearance.
“Peace be with you,” I began.
“And also with you,” returned the laity.
I had barely inhaled to continue speaking when an urgent signal from the bridge flashed across the pulpit’s data screen. The Veritas was being hailed by an alien ship exiting hyperspace and entering an orbit parallel to ours!
I was stunned, but since the ruling elite loved being first in all things, I decided to include them in our unexpected first contact.
“Put them through down here – full holography,” I ordered.
“Yes your Grace. Coming through now,” answered the bridge.
I swallowed hard and uttered a quick Hail Mary.

***
To everyone’s shock, the image that coalesced in the center of the transept was human – in priestly accoutrement no less!
“Peace be with you,” the other said.
“And also with you,” I managed to stammer.
“Oh good. So you do remember. I am Summa Archiepiscopus Bernoulli. I bring greetings from his Grace Pontificus Maximus Rex Pious the Seventy-Seventh from Earth.”
“From Earth!? But Earth is just a pagan myth! It doesn’t exist!” I protested vehemently.
“I can assure you sir, it is most definitely not,” said Bernoulli sternly.
“I am here to promulgate papal authority and I have the keys of St. Peter to prove it.”
I held up my keys of St. Peter before the hologram.
“Heresy!” Bernoulli declared, and I could hear the royal elites murmuring behind me. I noticed several protective details begin escorting their charges out of the sanctuary.
Another urgent signal flashed across my pulpit.
“Please excuse me…”
“Your Grace,” Bernoulli finished my sentence.
“What is it?!” I snarled, in a most unpriestly fashion.
“Your Grace, another vessel has dropped out of hyperspace! It’s a massive pyramid with a gigantic golden eye just below the pinnacle. They are signaling…”
Suddenly, another massive hologram filled the transept, blotting out Bernoulli. A fierce visage with painted eyes replaced him. A towering headpiece in the image of a golden eagle rested upon his head. He spoke with words like thunder.
“I am the High Priest of Amun-Ra, and you have forgotten your gods!”
I shook inwardly but managed to contact the bridge in my panic.
“Deploy Gargoyles!”
“Your Grace?”
“Fire EVERYTHING!!!”

(750 words in story) Justin Sewall © 2021
Reviews/critiques welcome

Thanks Chris! January theme and required elements have been posted. Good luck writing and best wishes for 2021!

But can he pick the winning Power Ball numbers? :) Way to go Kalifer!

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting, and reading each story before voting, is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but you must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

Jot Russell

Contest Creator/Director

January Theme: New Beginnings (new relationships, starships, careers, technology, the start of something new, etc.)

Required Elements: Baggage, obstacles or people from the past that impede progress of the new beginning

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting, and reading each story before voting, is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but you must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

Jot Russell

Contest Creator/Director

January Theme: New Beginnings (new relationships, starships, careers, technology, the start of something new, etc.)

Required Elements: Baggage, obstacles or people from the past that impede progress of the new beginning

To help polish our skills and present a flavour of our art to other members in the group, I am continuing this friendly contest for those who would like to participate. There is no money involved, but there is also no telling what a little recognition and respect might generate. The rules are simple:

1) The story needs to be your own work and should be posted on the goodreads (GR) Discussion board, which is a public group. You maintain responsibility and ownership of your work to do with as you please. You may withdraw your story at any time.

2) The stories must be 750 words or less.

3) The stories have to be science fiction, follow a specific theme and potentially include reference to items as requested by the prior month's contest winner.

4) You have until midnight EST on the 22nd day of the month to post your story to the GR Science Fiction Microstory Contest discussion. One story per author per month.

5) After, anyone from the LI Sci-Fi group or the GR Science Fiction Microstory Discussion group has until midnight EST of the 25th day of the month to send me a single private vote (via GR or to author.jotrussell@gmail.com) for a story other than their own. This vote will be made public once voting is closed. Voting, and reading each story before voting, is required. If you do not vote, your story will be disqualified from the contest. You don't need a qualifying story to cast a vote, but you must offer the reason for your vote if you don’t have an entry.

6) To win, a story needs at least half of the votes, or be the only one left after excluding those with the fewest votes. Runoffs will be run each day until a winner is declared. Stories with vote totals that add up to at least half, discarding those with the fewest votes, will be carried forward to the next runoff election. Prior votes will be carried forward to support runoff stories. If you voted for a story that did not make it into the runoff, you need to vote again before midnight EST of that day. Only people who voted in the initial round may vote in the runoffs.

7) Please have all posts abide by the rules of GR and the LI Sci-Fi group.

8) For each month, there will be three discussion threads:
a) Stories - For the stories and the contest results only.
b) Comments - For discussions about the stories and contest. Constructive criticism is okay, but please avoid any spoilers about the stories or degrading comments directed towards any individuals. If you want to suggest a change to the contest, feel free to start a discussion about the idea before making a formal motion. If another member seconds a motion, a vote can be held. I will abstain from voting, but will require a strong two-thirds majority to override my veto.
c) Critiques - Each member can provide at most one critique per story, with a single rebuttal by the author to thank the critic and/or comment to offer the readers the mind set of the story to account for issues raised by the critique. Critiques should be of a professional and constructive manner. Feel free to describe elements that you do and don't like, as these help us gain a better perspective of our potential readers. Remarks deemed inflammatory or derogatory will be flagged and/or removed by the moderator.

9) The winner has THREE days after the start of the new month to make a copy of these rules and post a new contest thread using the theme/items of their choosing. Otherwise, I will post the new contest threads.

Jot Russell

Contest Creator/Director

January Theme: New Beginnings (new relationships, starships, careers, technology, the start of something new, etc.)

Required Elements: Baggage, obstacles or people from the past that impede progress of the new beginning

Chris would you like to come up with a theme and I'll provide the required elements? Just let me know!

Woo-hoo! Thank you all and Chris! Here's to a better 2021 for everyone!