C. (Comment, never msg).’s Comments (group member since Jan 30, 2014)

C. (Comment, never msg).’s comments from the Gentle SPECTRUMS group.

We are on in concert and that is nice. I suppose you are writing more and started with an introduction. I hope you see all my entries of this morning, which continued on a second topic page. I am jumping into a bath, then writing another review or two. I will read what your book replies when I come out, refreshed.

I did sweep the library floor which it needed and shook out the entryway carpet. I stowed the table. What was under it fit nicely, after putting a few items in the closet or on the library couch to organize after. The bookshelf fit beautifully beside those boxes, one atop the heaviest. Tomorrow, I will use that bookshelf to clear up space. Inside our house, I fulfilled Ron's request to reduce what was on the coffeetable and wash the pink tablecloth protecting it.

I need to keep reading and reviewing, so that some artbooks especially can be kept or put aside to sell. Those are mostly too heavy to mail. I will continue with this office and our bedroom in the morrow.

We knew her first kids were not in the USA but meeting them and losing them was hard. It is not about being unsurprised, nor diseases being possible. It was handled hastily, which made the death feel like a plot item Amy checked-off. Not an arm that fit their story. Danru survived stillbirth like his first Sister, illness like his second Sister, death by abuse, bombs in war, malnutrition, or diseases that MORE likely would be in those hastily put together homes DURING war.

He is fit and well and a full character. He is sent to Helen & her Aunt for safe-keeping until Winnie can get airline tickets out of there. Many kids were sent from Parents in times of danger. I think he was sent because she was going to prison, which was necessary. It wasn't because it was off page. It was a jagged plot change that slapped readers with "He needs to die somehow. We'll say he got sick in this town and say the same about Helen's first husband". It was NOT plausible for this resilient boy. He was too obviously written out, it doesn't matter that Amy had planned it.

Kerri, I don't think Winnie hid her first children from Pearl or Samuel. Jimmy loved Danru too and had a treasured photograph album of him in it. It is something you tell and show your family. I guess that means admitting you had a previous husband. There is no shame in saying he was horribly abusive to your closest loved-ones but she could skip any part she wanted. If you have Sisters & Brothers in Heaven or Earth, you deserve to know. I think she must have glossed over years before that she had had a husband, producing children who had gone to Heaven. It was not the focus of the book but Mothers, even those who sent some for adoption, usually tell their present day families about them. I pour over adoption reunion shows all the time and know such people.

It is only in novels that people are so awfully secretive. "Hard to talk about", be damned. Mom went through awfully hard things and Dad moved past terrible experiences he wanted to leave in the past too. Mom felt it was worth telling hard things so her kids knew her inside & out and even my "move past it" Dad shared his hardest times. They are "Be careful this never happens" lessons that are valuable. Many people find mentioning the names of loved-ones healing, better outside of their souls than stuck in them. I can't count the people I met on the beach, workmen at my house, even that touchy drink machine guy where I worked.... telling me the most wrenching things about beloved babies or animals who didn't make it.

Also, did you know Canada welcomes tons of war refugees? We started with Serbians. I can't remember the last time anyone came for our satellite dish, telephone repair, or window measuring who was not a Ukrainian refugee. Some of them speak of it freely and it is RECENT trauma. No, there is no easily dismissed "it was hard to talk about". Most things are hard to talk about for everyone. This is a fictional novel. I think authors need to ditch the shallow assumption that readers will believe most people won't share a "secret child, past marriage". We don't buy it. As someone who has lost tons of loved-ones, there is a desperation to keep talking about them and showing their photographs: it is not just me. Whew, I went deep and thoroughly on that bandwagon!

What next. I did not see any bond with Huazheng. They had to chat because they shared a room and possibly a bed. They shared Parents because Winnie's Dad thought she was better with Mother figures and also Father figures who were home more. I think Huazheng's Dad was a farmer, a business on his land. Huazheng seemed like a bitch who only cared about what treats she was getting, no care for anyone else, including her young Brothers. Although she remained terse and disdainful about world views she had tired of (I get it), I was amazed she grew into a woman who fought for something that benefitted countless others.

Some people aren't warm. The bitchiest lady on our street as kids was a church goer, the kind who asked her adopted children only to play gospel pop music. That is fine, her Daughter and another girl in school, gave me David Bowie 12" singles and a Corey Hart scrapbook. I appreciate them.

To try to clarify Winnie's Father more, I really got the message that he was mentally willing his Daughter to show independence and an opinionated backbone, while knowing their culture taught them to be meekly respectful. I could hear him urging "Please, I know this family is terrible but I can't comfortably contradict a matchmaker if you don't give me a sign you were pressured or find it undesirable in any way".

This was a society that trusted matchmakers to put serious work into their choices, not leaving it to a deck of fate cards. He trusted matchmakers to have looked at Wen Fu's family background and needed Winnie to say if she was fine with it or not. He would not have asked if he knew they were a morally good family. He didn't dare ask more obviously or urge more strongly because they had just met, since toddlerhood. They had no relationship to reach past the manners of "sitting and agreeing with elders". When they did live together, he was warm and hid money to help set her free from Wen Fu's stupid family at last. It wasn't because things were desperate. It was because they had a relationship, a desire beyond her being his child in name, to help the loyal Daughter he now personally knew.

Thankfully not desribed at all, the attack on Winnie was similar to the out of nowhere shock of Danru being gone. We had gone through crap in this novel, she had an airline ticket, and was almost in her new home. Who opens a door without looking, especially after telling Wen Fu off? Who easily finds out where she lives? How likely was a full household to be empty, moreso when helping Winnie prepare for a trip. Why not hit or threaten her, why a damned assault. Because Amy wanted to add a stupid question "who is the biological sire".

I hope I was clear the uncertain sire did not "bother me" in the slightest and I never said it did. The assault angered me, with respect for anyone tortured by a terrible act and because Amy threw it in during the happiest, most unlikely period of freedom, support, and solidarity. It is simply wise to know your biology and history. One test and she can accept or be relieved either way. Not knowing is stressful, hearing an unwanted answer and moving on is a relief. Finding out Jimmy provided her DNA is the best reason to test.

I don't know how other women standed Wen Fu. He was abusive to them too but could not claim spousal ownership, I guess. One part of the novel that was creative and very well done is that he was so reprehensible, Winnie was relieved that another woman kept him away from her. She befriended the actress and was entertained by her singing and performance talent and stories. What a gift during war. They played records and Winnie returned them to her, with thanks for her friendship and the relief the lady brought to her. You want music, dancing, jokes, laughter, play-acting, and fun during hard times.

I know arranged marriage seems distasteful to our cultures but it is not forced like movies or stories make it sound. If you are born into a mindset that is acceptable and have a say in it, it doesn't seem bad. You might consider that a lot of people who marry out of love or attraction, might commit themselves too quickly anyway. It is a solid idea to check people's backgrounds, career and financial records, criminal records for that matter. Consider what they have to offer in stability.

I worked with an Indian woman who had very modern Daughters. They knew and shared their Parents' customs and the story of their Parents being betrothed. Her eldest Daughter (all of them born in Canada) had no interest in university. Rather than live with her Parents in her 20s until she figured out what she wanted to do, she asked her Parents to set her up with a potential husband. It was like meeting and dating anyone, with the benefit of two sets of Parents checking each other out first. They dated and got to decide if they liked each other or not. They might have fallen in love first. They did and they married. Our cultures aren't necessarily better for meeting by accident, falling in love, and making big life decisions, going entirely by feelings. We just want free choice, to not feel like it was arranged. Don't believe movies.

The problem for most people, who don't believe in dating a good while or living together before marrying, is that it is difficult to see a problem before you marry. Then you don't want the bad feeling of a divorce history. Winnie had had no chance to see that Wen Fu was trash and tell her Dad "get me out of this, if you're okay with it".

A great fictional example to consider what you would do in modern, free speaking circumstances, is Ross' wedding with that terrible Englishwoman, Emily. I hated her like most people and no one twisted her arm to hastily marry someone on a romantic whim. That week or so they spent together was the only time she wasn't a bitch. However, I felt sorry for her only from knowing that Rachel was Ross' dream girl and he should not have proposed to anyone, until she was over Rachel or certain they could not be together. Obviously the "saying the wrong name" episode is because Rachel WAS ready to be with Ross and he happened to commit to this visitor willy nilly.

What would you do, if you realized your partner's heart was elsewhere but your Parent's had paid for a wedding and all the guests were there? Let's say you weren't at an altar with a minister awaiting an answer to vows. If you discovered a problem with your partner after a wedding was arranged, not on the day but some time before.... would you go through with it as Emily did, out of embarrassment to cancel and wanting to respect your Parents' efforts?

I could not wed without taking a partner aside and asking "Do you love someone else? We'd better not marry if you do. It doesn't matter that you aren't dating them. A marriage won't work if your eye occasionally looks elsewhere, or wishes things had worked with someone else". It would be awkward but I'd have to cancel everything, if a partner admitted that. I would ask them out of care for me, to be very honest and admit the truth, as well as to spare themselves resentment or wasted pain.

Since there was no opportunity to see, Winnie's Father should have said what he knew about that family. It was his right to weigh in his opinion. I would be surprised if their custom was to leave everything to a matchmaker and not consult every Father. He thought "Show your personality". He asked Winnie to speak freely and consider how she felt in her gut. He urged her not to answer what she assumed he wanted to hear. Didn't you sense that? It was a lot to ask a girl who didn't know him. It is true that she needed information and her Dad's guidance.

I fed the birds and made good progress cleaning the library while I was there. There is a long table under the window with books on top and underneath. Several family boxes were on the floor in front of it. All I need to do is move the boxes under the table, sweep the floor, and shake out the entry carpet. I will fold up the table and put a bookshelf there that had stood on the library carpet. That barrier removed and the bookshelf being ready for storage, I can set to work in there seriously to clean it. We'll need to move things out of our house temporarily when our new windows come next month. What I clean in this office and our bedroom this week-end is very helpful too.

My intelligent friend, you are raising discussion material to consider like I hoped, opening it quite widely. As a storyteller, drawing from known things more than composing fiction as I want to learn to, examples occur to me from everywhere - includine the sole soap opera I watch. Uncannily, it started in 1973 and follows my entire presence on Earth. You may have seen the blog post years ago that Mom's Dad got me into it, which I wouldn't have dreamed because he was a loud but jolly intellectual. Dad's Mom followed several, cutely called "her stories" like many North American elders do. However, the wide range of people who watch "Y&R", including Ron's folks for pete's sakes, surprise me.

The winter I travelled to the Caribbean, my friend's family turned it on the TV too. Let me tell you, when you have black friends, there is NOTHING more fun than reacting to and commiserating on a soap opera! We all mutter and tell characters off. My habit is using the computer when I get up: work, writing, correspondence, our discussions, reading and book logging, label making, file saving, anything.... and being off in time to watch "Y&R" over lunch. I watch my PVR taping of "Late Night With Seth Meyers" (call him dessert, mmmm!) and any odd or end that recorded. Then I set about yard or house work, watching our cats play outside all the time. Speaking of which, I need to put out the birdfeeders, which Ron leaves for me summers while the wonderful black bears are awake in the world. I'll post these musings and will return for book replies, with you asleep if not hibernating, on your side of the world.

There is a lot to say in e-mail privately. I have a good bit of catch-up on our book conversation first, since you made up for dropping off by holding down the fort without my input for several days. Yes, August 15th is coming too quickly. I wasn't sure if the date stuck with you. It also reminds me of those several birthdays to get moving on: my Sister-in-law, two Cousins (who are Sisters) at each furthest end of Canada, and one dear friend.

You mentioned my friend's Sister's name by mistake in e-mail. I met her at their Mom's 102 year service. Her much younger Sister is my lifelong friend. I loved meeting her big Sister, a war survivor and the only remaining child of their Mom's escape from it. In China, everyone was at risk; there was no religious or cultural distinction, even though they too have spirituality from which to choose.

Respect for my friend's family and my Parents' doctor / author friend is why I do not tolerate most fiction drawing from war time. It was not "interesting, romantic, thought provoking".... the reason is using a popular theme that will sell. It does and readers have to put a stop to that. Not for selling a romance, drama, mystery, fantasy. spy adventure. Amy Tan has a family or cultural line, her purpose being to show what war was like, especially a less covered one like China's horrors.

You posed an interesting question about Pearl's Brother (name?) and Amy Tan probably simply stuck to the characters of her story. She wanted Jimmy to definitely have contributed a pregnancy or two, or wanted Pearl to have a Sibling experience, which I think she referred to a couple times. However, rather than have readers complain of a two-dimensional character, she named him and went no further.

Having read two Kate Morton and Susanna Kearsley books many years ago, whom I enjoy but wince at how much they overdid sidebars, I recently experienced "The Stand" pushing superfluity to the max. He reduced Kate and Susanna's expansive habits to feeling like they had the brevity of comic books. I like a limit of two protagonists (except the Raven and Sisterhood friends). Time is saved when other characters are sketched in through their voices.

This book was not only about Moms & Daughter. It included Winnie's Father and her Son Danru in the emotional scope. This one was about all kinds of family (the subject I hinted I look forward to savouring with you).

What I find interesting is that Amy is not a mystery writer, I don't think. I have several more of her books ahead. As far as I know, she is a general fiction authoress, or some other sub-genre. Mystery is a format that demands sticking to the pieces you need and keeping the pace trucking. However, a professional authoress of any genre knows to tighten story threads to the essential parts.

Thinking about it, he had no questions about his Mom's traditions or hovering over his well-being, so we averted a character having dialogue here and there for no reason except painting a Brother into the picture. There are characters on "The Young And The Restless" who are so pointless or uninteresting, it has to be a contractual obligation to give them scenes once in awhile. It is obvious that they have nothing to do but run into other characters and exchange lines about nothing at all.

I have just had the idea to bounce this question back to you. Why did Amy not give us Jimmy in present day? Her past could have been shared with us, with a living and loving husband in the mix.

I am up early! Feeling ready, with relaxing Petal and chipper Angel to start our day, as we sent Ron to work. I am going to review a good many leftover books, enjoy good food, clean, and trim two more bushes. They are looking nice around our home. Preparing mail parcels should clear space. Lorraine awaits her birthday gift really because I needed to add a letter and August birthdays are around the corner. So is dear Dad's Heaven date, I can't believe it already, in a week.

I will answer your question and recent input. After a break perhaps, I will go over what you wrote prior to me chiming in again.

Yes, I ploughed through "The Stand" as fast as I could. It is done. I am glad I read it but won't read it again, although I seldom read things twice. The exception is novels from childhood up to twenties, which count as new for scarce recall. You aren't liking any horse books lately, not just the ho-hum ones I sent, which I thought you would like better than I did. I can't wait to read why not. I watch for your reviews and value the sweet words on mine, Kerri.

Your Parents don't freak out about health, after worrying about you all your life until recent years? I had a fall at such a young age I hardly recall it and they worry about damage all the decades through! Must be nice! If there had been concern I would value their support but not before I knew if there was any problem. When my Parents had to stand up to serious concerns for themselves or us, they were formidable and resolute.

Their faith helped them and us a lot, even if it started with religion. That's where people thought you went to look for God. That is the place from which they taught me about Jesus, God, and faith. I merely removed the middle man, the institution. It occurred to me last night that you might be interested in some of the pivotal books that opened me to the freedom I discovered, if I have spare copies. We will elaborate in e-mail, indeed.

I love Pearl's respect for their culture and her Mom's participation in their modern one. I like novels where immigrants do not complain about children embracing their birth country or present residence. I am naturally, powerfully interested in our ancestors but my Parents pushed no interest in Ireland, Germany, Scotland, Holland, French, Métis. How about your Parents?

I was moved that just the right statue came to Winnie, unique and unprecedented. She warmly told Pearl it is for fun. Winnie did not need her Daughter to believe in a kitchen God or wife and did not mind if she did not. However, Winnie thought if it protected her Daughter at all, go for it and Pearl warmly received the gesture of protection and heritage. A tradition of China and the stand under it inherited from her Great-Aunt. The power was in the love & warmth between Mom & Daughter, like all healing and protection are. What we imbue in prayers and gifts we give is important and full of healthy, connective vibrations.

Yes, the understanding and closeness after Winnie & Pearl emptied what was on their minds for each other, was lovely. A sequel, please! I am going to bed to read but look forward to seeing our conversation moving in the morning.

Health scares are private. If it is not serious or there are no symptoms, it is your business to brook no opinions. Pearl had good reason for this policy: the Cousin who did know blabbed to her Mother and both of them were annoying, looking at her like she might fall over for lifting a fork.

If there is nothing they can do or life isn't short, I approve of not worrying Parents or Siblings. We hate worrying loved-ones and deserve to deal what there is without tamping down someone else's heavy reactions. I had a health scare decades ago and through prayer or an incorrect reading, the follow up revealed nothing at all. It was good not to worry my folks, who didn't let up easily.

I tumbled down stairs when I was little but came out all right. My whole life, my Parents were supicious about damage without any foundation for it. That was fifty years ago, on a cleary healthy woman! A "not shut up about it" intrusion was Winnie's right to avoid. Aren't your Parents like that or is your new health marvelled at and accepted?

It happens that sharing with her Mom felt right and was welcomed. The workings of the ailment are unfamiliar, with no cures offered by western medicine, experienced too often. Here, it made sense to open herself suggestions and Winnie said "Trying Chinese Medicine is a must".

I wish Amy would write that sequel about Winnie & Pearl going to China. It would be a fresh new trip is discovering and sharing, a joy without war, any violence, or loss! Perhaps her Brother could come and no longer be two-dimensional. I appreciate keeping characters to a minimum. There would be space to add him. I love that their Dad, Jimmy, was an American who spoke Mandarin (I suppose) and shared the Chinese heritage.

It would be enlightening to raise interesting questions, broad ones like "Do you think Winnie would have tolerated Wen if she were not in a war". How about "Why did Winnie not tell her kids about past torture, so she could exorcise it for herself and be calm in her joyous life? Her husband knew all about it". My Mom discussed most things about herself because she wanted to be understood and for us to know her, which included bad things she overcame. Give me big or general questions, if you think of them. I have saved my favourite conversation and favourite part of the novel, besides Winnie loving all her kids and falling in love.

Meanwhile, let's start our Amy Tan discussion with the crappiest element first, which I agree not to detail. You bet, seeing the information once was enough. In case I only answer some of the conversation, you will have something from me to work with. I'll jump to various statements about Wen Fuckhead. Wrap him up to organize content, instead of chronologically. Helping me recall the story after a lapse has worked with you writing first.

His Son was afraid of him on principal but unharmed. He was horrible to his Daughters. Lightly smacking a kid or pet who was obstinate or causing danger, I get. A parent loses their cool sometimes. Never hit a baby! They entirely need their parents and have to count on feeling safe with them: feeding, changing, breathing freely, and to support their precious little heads. The trauma of a baby not brushing it off but guarding herself from a Father before we are old enough to do that, tells you have terrible it was. Rage bad enough and lack of keeping it checked or reduced could be felt by a beautiful little soul. I already hated him. After that instant, I wanted him dead.

Maybe housemates missed that action that time but they surely saw the baby's fear. Bullshit about whether or not it was convenient in wartime or disapproving to divorce goes out the window. Protecting children comes first. Protecting women was enough before that happened. The men, friends he respected living among Wen Bastard and witnessing the scared children, should have thrown him out bodily and asserted that he dare not return or approach any of them again! They were military, they had guns, they were his only friends.

Please help me remember if that precious infant was the one who lost her life because the doctor was not fast enough. One girl went to Heaven as a baby. I think the infant who was afraid grew up to be a toddler but is the one whose symptoms were ignored. What desapair of a Mother confronting the doctor at a card game! She did not need a husband's approval to get emergency help. I am sorry she lost those two children, one needlessly.

I will conclude in this session by clarifying that of course we knew her Son did not make it to the United States. Losing him at all was not my complaint. He survived a war, a murderous Father, strained household, and fleeing with his Mom to a safe home. I would have reluctantly understood if he had perished through any of those major things. I criticize Amy's stretched advice, that felt wrong, to have him die over an illness we did not see. It was deux-ex-machina to me; an author deciding these pre-war children and Helen's first husband would be written out. It was done shallowly. Had he not taken the train, he would have lived. It was a poorly written, implausible, needless death. He is a beloved character deserved better: an end we could come to grips with a mourn with sad comprehension. I hope you get me now.

I love that this child is in photo albums. I wish we had seen Jimmy in the United States for awhile but appreciate the apartment time. It was lovely.

I stiffen if I hear of anyone getting religious because I know firsthand, the unintended judgement and hypocrisy. Most folks, well meaning, are a little brainwashed if they follow a religion seriously. No one notices that they are worshipping the church's rules, instead of simply worshipping and building a bond with God. They think God made the rules of various religions and that they speak for Him / Her. Thankfully Jimmy was leniant and willing to lie to get her out of China. However, Winnie subtly conveyed that his letters became more about God than anything else. We who love Jesus / God without rules do not need to wave a flag or conform to any rituals. However, I understand you meant to say he was better than what you have witnessed too.

Yes, I am glad we knew the violence and heartache were over when we joined Winnie in Pearl's time. I think she had a Brother who was glossed over. I feel it goes without saying that Jimmy is her Dad through and through. However, I have always deemed it important to know your biological roots. Medically, physically, perhaps there are ancient relatives who weren't creeps. Put it this way: Pearl wonders if the creep of all creeps might be her biological source. Limbo or shrugging it off is unsettling.

If it was him, not wondering anymore would free Pearl to say "Okay, I am glad I am not like him. I am glad I had a real, loving Dad". The wondering is gone and she settles down the knowledge in her mind and heart. The great part is that she might learn her biological Dad is Jimmy too. She would not be sorry she tested herself and would be amazingly glad she did, if it went Jimmy's way. You could DNA test in the 1990s.

I finished the uncut 1990 hardcover "The Stand" and feel like a proud marathon running for achieving this accomplishment. I have a lot of criticisms of that book, very close to receiving two stars, that I would love to discuss. I wonder if I should make a thread for anyone who wants to pop in on that anytime. I know most people loved it and am going to explain what I found to be weak. I think I am giving three stars for the major life considerations and character sympathy. As a writer, I see clearly that he failed to explain major things, like Herbert Wells and cancelled out prophecy and the need for any characters to travel to Las Vegas. Now, I will focus on a book that was more ugly and violent but whose journey I appreciated: "The Kitchen God's Wife".

Haven't turned on the PC in days but glad to consistently find your views every day. Agreeing with these recent ones but look forward to remarking on tbem all. Likely tomorrow.

We are about to have anniversary supper at home, play CDs, generally be close and romantic, and also watch the second "Librarian" film. Yes, we sure received your gift and both loved the first film! We thank you again, good friend Kerri!
Love, Carolyn & Ron.

You last contributed July 17 and 29, four days after I understood this was the focus now. I thought we were going straight until this was done. Going to bed. If we aren't doing this, kindly let me know. It is my much earned milestone anniversary week-end.

I reviewed our story. Replying to the ending you both wrote about with excitement, was interrupted by our telephone line going out of service for three weeks, in December 2024! Our telephone line provides our PC's internet. When I had time to write with our PC's keyboard and internet again, no one was talking about this novel anymore. Should you see it, I will write my last replies and conclusions. I said I would.

I see that you both need to review this novel. Meanwhile, here is my review URL. Your friend, Carolyn. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

I am overjoyed you spent a good while with your Grandma, as you already know. You are savouring what you have in life and it is beautiful to observe.

I love your differening points of view, the gift of conversations arriving straight away. I saw no bond between the Cousins and wonder what gave you your impressions. Telling someone they ought not go to town with too much powder could come from anyone. I think it is a given Winnie hoped to bond with anyone. I don't think "Peanut" (I'd rather use her real name if I retrieve it) thought of anyone but herself, or valued the adopted Sister that was beside her. I would gladly change my mind if you could direct me to examples of any closeness from "Peanut".

My impression is different about "Peanut" (please get us the actual name) as an adult too. I do not think she looked down on anyone, certainly not Winnie. She had become a women's rights advocate, most admirable in 1940s China. She was against certain societal conventions, including gift-exchanging, which she could not afford. The ladies earned their own livings for the upkeep of their communal home. It was also post war and every resource was preserved in gratitude. I am a passive activist for the equality of animals, plant life, and the freedom from worshipping religions instead of Jesus & God. I recognized the weary, fed up demeanour. One sometimes takes a deep breath and braces oneself for a rigid reaction. "Peanut" did not know what kind of woman Winnie was, until she said she was there to be freed from her husband too. I admired her for growing from a shallow girl to a woman standing up for something. The loss of her first supporter's Daughter and provider of the house, was sad. The memory and message of her dear life became their inspiration for battle!

I would never call a creep like Wen Fu "interesting". He came across as slimy to me from the get go. He sought the richest source of gains for himself. I don't think Winnie's bad fortune was caused by anything and that it was a sad coincidence. She should have learned long ago not to call unwanted energy. You & I know we affect the energy around us so make it good! Steer anything bad or unwanted away!

I saw no sign of "Peanut" being in love with Wen Fu. Most people fall for their first romantic possibility, if they are decent people. It is rare for the first person we seriously date to end up being the one. It is however, possible and it would be lovely if it came out that way for people we know! :-) Women needed to get out of poverty or family homes by marriage, so they looked for chances. Real love is possible but Wen Fu had nothing about him to love, only empty flirting and Peanut had just met him. She felt she had a chance with him and thought it was disrespectful for Winnie to end up with him, even though Winnie had no interest in him. She found a cause to support women and Winnie found a true love, very good outcomes for both of them.

I am on an alternate tack from you again with Winnie's Father and had sympathy for him. He might have been selfish but I think it was a special Chinese man in the 1940s, who paid attention to little children. It was the province of the Mom and there were several Mothers & broods. He was focused on building a good business and felt his Daughter would do better with Aunts & Cousins. He did not get to know her and suddenly, had traditions to fulfill but hardly knew what to say to her. She felt likewise and out of respect at the time, feared him too.

I read into the descriptions that although he did not have a personal rapport with his Daughter, he cared about Winnie. He tested her and knew Wen Fu's people were shits. If she wanted to be with him (the poor thing did not know it was acceptable to discard that option and await a superior one), he would not stand in her way. He gave Winnie the chance to say she was not thrilled with the match and my understanding is that at one word of reluctance or refusal, he stood ready to gladly cancel the betrothal for her.

He at the very least sought a strong vein of independence, asking what she truly thought, watching for a formidable spirit to withstand a hard family and saw it. Ladies needed to be respectful but he wanted his Daughter to also have the grit she needed to live with a difficult person. She had not shown displeasure in the potential match but he saw a formidable spirit, so he sighed and permitted it. I guess you did not sense what I am describing? Later, her Father got to know her and they appreciated each other very much. He certainly helped his child with escape and secret money later.

The Aunts' thoughts about clothes was not a pivotal scene that I remembered because I did not think they felt inferior. I recall now a little, that they wondered what to wear but they were uncomfortable generally about the meeting. Winnie's Father had matched other Daughters & Sons but the process was unfamiliar to the man's Sisters. I suppose it must have been unusual for them to present themselves as the family in charge of the marriage candidate, to her biological Father. Our interpretations of a lot of chapters veers off but I find it fun to read how you came to other conclusions. I am open to seeing anything as you do if you can describe how.

Kerri, now that you are back, keep typing little bits without pausing for me. I think I have shellshock from repeated disappearing and postponing. Reassure me I can get invested in contributing what I have awaited. Did you say you are reserving space for us every day to see this through?

I will reply to your contributions so far. I spent yesterday off & on, putting a lot of effort into replies for your complicated scenarios. I hope they are all helpful overall.

I received your memorial of our dear boy, with relief. I forwarded it to Ron, to show our loyal friend and start him remembering our dearest Love with us today. His Sisters are playing outside in the sun, after a good, healthy meal.

Many little things stood out and you should be able to bring the rest of them back. I had blocked out the memory of the poor pig and could have done without that. I was sorry about the ducks. It was no better, how many animals they ate. China thinks more is edible than we do, so I ran past those descriptions. They are right that a horse should be no different than a chicken but think of it the wrong way. The reverse is what people need to realize: if we would not eat a horse, no birds or cows should be accepted as products to consume or kill either.

You were not unkind to write that, before you read how bad Wen Fu was, that piece of shit survived war and lived long, instead of people and creatures whom he caused suffering. Death by drunked accident or careless driving, war, his bad temper, assault, sexual assault, coersion. He was so terrible, Winnie was relieved another woman took her place in bed. Winnie was relieved he might have gone to jail. I think Helen & her husband, sharing a small house, were stupid not to notice this was a man to be rid of, not evade justice.

The fuckhead even took over Winnie's Dad's house. His relatives were greedy to steal her recently bought wedding furniture and items. Removing her Mother's mementoes and Dad's desk were unthinkable, horrible. When Winnie publically proclaimed to a crowd in court and in the public newspaper, that she would rather go to jail than with Wen Fu; it was a triumph. He did one more terrible thing to Winnie afterwards and scared her into thinking she might lose life-saving plane tickets. However, he was beaten at that moment: he could not coerse, control, hurt, or scare Winnie any more. She was not joking: she willing preferred jail to being with or complying with that horrible being any more. The court and the public got to know him for the piece of shit he was.

I have more to say that is finally going to get released. Please at least give me the pleasure of contributing a lot first. This is what I waited for and held back. Tell me if we have a few days in a row of uninterrupted conversation, or I won't get started yet.

I can say a few things, finally. The ex creep was worst after they resided in two houses. I liked Helen better later, except in the first house, shared by them. The abuse should have been clear to everyone but Helen & her husband ruined getting rid of him, to jail.

I loved meeting Auntie. She apologized later for screwing up different ways to get rid of the monster. Winnie was glad for the idiot to sleep with someone else and was entertained by that woman.

I think it would be simple for Winnie & Helen to say "we are like family because we survived war together". If you do not want to lie or say much, there are a lot of ways to describe old friends. Calling her a Brother's wife was a lie. A "friend from war" is accurate and keeps former abusers out.

At the end, we see Winnie was not overreacting to much. What she should have done is told Pearl certain gifts resembled keepsakes of her Mother's. She was not pushing different taste. Let recipients know the meanings of gifts.

We see how Winnie meets and falls in love with Pearl's Dad. There are many chapters of them together in China and I adore them as a couple.

I peeked at my cell phone on my way to bed. I look forward to answering with my trusty 20 year-old PC tomorrow. Today was about relaxing. I have ample time to accomplish the DVD improvements. Ron, already snoring, asks for a break from travelling. He wants to pick saskatoons and mow the lawn. Goodnight!

HAPPY CANADA DAY!
From your friend Carolyn in sunny, colourful, flowery Manitoba!

Safe journey to our beloved friend, Chevy: on the Holiest occasion today.
With all our love, Carolyn & our family.

There are too many books about difficult relationships, not that the point of some is appreciated and yes, written better. I am saying there is a shitty tendency to drag out that incorrect stereotype like with cats. I asked if your folks are easy to be around, laughing, and fun most of the time because bracing yourself for tough parental quirks is common. My refrain is similar here; whatever is true in the real world, authors have to stop referring to it too often in books and give us something soothing to read. If we shape our choices and attitudes after stories, set a positive example, put that joyous energy in the world more often.

Winnie only obsessed in adulthood in the US. Everyone would justifiably be fearful in war and need to know what happened to their Mom anytime. I watch adoption shows and however happy a person with the parents they got, there is a hole wondering what happened to their blood family and the parents wondering what became of their children. You rarely see anyone going "It turned out all right, I don't need to know".

If Amy had written that Winnie found her Mom in this medium long story, it might have pushed the fifth star despite; stupid trouble at the end. Winnie & her Mom had all kinds of time to look for each other after the war and to read news and census information. The internet was in homes when this book closed, although sparse but certainly available in offices.

Instead of making up an attack that was too out of place to fit, use fiction to deliver a joyous reunion or the relief of information about her Mom. How dare her Aunts, Dad, and his wives not sit down and tell her everything they knew, even if the Mom's reasons and whereabouts were unknown. There would be peace in knowing you knew everything you could, the same as everyone who was there when you were too little to investigate it.