Birdsong231☾ (pm before invs)’s Comments (group member since Nov 29, 2020)

Birdsong231☾ (pm before invs)’s comments from the Grimoire’s Return. group.

((IT'S OKIE. THESE TWO ARE JUST SO PRECIOUS I CAN'T GET ENOUGH))

((HHDJVOJQJJCJFKFLSJSD MY IMPATIENCE IS KILLING MEEEEE))

Damian's face, yet again, burned to a bright red. "M-moi?" Why am I so shy all of a sudden? It wasn't long ago we... He lifted his hands to cover his burning face as he ran off in search for his summoner. Why can't I finish that sente- His thoughts stopped when he heard a familiar voice with his sharp, enhanced hearing. He stood still, and held his breath and he listened, and felt guilty about eavesdropping. That guilt fled after hearing the last sentence. Seastar...
"Is... Is that what it feels like? Amour?" Damian asked softly as he entered the room, a bit on the shy side. "I- I've never experienced it... At least, I don't think I have... I've never had to deal with emotions since my death, before becoming...whatever I am. I'm starting to feel things I've never felt before, and I can't place a word to it. Not in English or French. It feels like every butterfly has migrated into my stomach, a-and I feel warm and fuzzy here," he laid a hand over his chest. "Like... Like a void that's just existed for thirteen years until today. And when I think of just going back to my everyday life, it feels wrong to not picture you in it. And thinking of you with anyone else in a...ahem, intimate way... I feel like crying. I feel sick when I think of you, but not in a bad way...if that makes sense? Like a good kind of sick..." He sat down in front of the pirate and suddenly bowed his head. "You're a human, and a fascinating one at that... Surely you know the word of...whatever I'm feeling? I am a demon of one of the seven deadly sins, one who is no longer familiar with emotions." Please... It's driving me insane.

((HHHHHHH M O N T G O M E R Y, ISTG, IF U DON'T SET YOUR CONFRICKINFUZZLED FEELINGS ON A GOLD PLATE-))

I don't know how and I don't know why...
But this vaguely reminds me of Damian...

((AAAAAA precious reassurance
my poor precious demon child who has no bloody clue what his feelings mean or if they're even normal
Someone gotta tell 'im what love meansssss
my baby))

it is the best way
its for character development, i promise
its absolutely not for my own satisfaction-

yusssss
especially if it puts my ocs through mental hell-

hOWEVER
A sad and confused Damian makes me happy
There is clearly something very wrong with me-

((And then there's friggin Damian-))

Damian's eyes widened and his face went from a soft pink to a full-blown red. "L-loverboy?!" He made a panicked squeak. I'm a demon, I'm not capable of love! All I can understand is lust... Pulling himself together, he managed to respond, though he didn't sound quite sure of himself... "I don't know what you mean. I've never felt love before, let alone understand what the word truly means. How could I understand it now?" He is merely a human who intriguing enough for me to stick around. "Besides, I'm... I'm sure he wouldn't be interested in commitment. Creatures of the sea... They like freedom. They can't stand being tied down. It is a nightmare for those who are free. To live on land is like being imprisoned," The more he spoke, the more lost he felt. It was almost as if he wad attempting to convince himself more than anyone else. Why does it hurt? He crossed his arms, setting one hand over where a heart should've been. Why do I feel such joy and pain when thinking of him? I don't belong beside him. I'm a fox, a creature of land...right? It's simply the nature of the world. You can't change your nature like that. It's not possible. At least, that's what he tried to tell himself. He wasn't human anymore, how could he understand that this unique species lived to defy the laws of nature? Especially since he had completely forgotten what his goals were as a human. He couldn't remember familial love. He couldn't remember if he had a friend. He couldn't remember his achievements. He couldn't remember if Damian was truly his nane or if it was just a made up memory to fill in important blanks. All he had was his swordsmanship and harp. Nothing else. "If my vague understanding of this odd word, love, is right... He shouldn't be with someone like me. He belongs with someone special, just like him."
(view spoiler)[[Oh, but demon... What if you are special, just like him?]
Oh, hush, you pathetic creature. You don't matter anymore. You're worthless. You only complicate things, you're a disappointment.
[... Alright, then...]
(hide spoiler)]

Metabolism
Mine is shit

Damian's eyes widened with curiosity at the sight of ship. He hardly ever wandered this direction. There was never a real reason to visit the area, especially during this time in the day. He would usually be out in the forest area as a common fox, simply hunting for prey. Of course, there was no way he would be able to stay still with his still apparent physical exhaustion. Lay down for a second while alone and he would've been out like a light. This time was different, however, as any bothersome feelings from before were wiped away with curiosity that could kill a cat. The real question was 'could satisfaction bring it back.'
Damian's trance was broken at the sound of a young voice. When he saw how the child's eyes never left the Italian's form for even a split second, the demon couldn't help but feel a spark of jealousy and distrust. The reason to such feelings was, yet again, completely unknown to him, but he did his best to not rest a hand against the hilt of the odachi that hung behind him. The weapon was far too big to rest agianst his hip. Tying it behind him was the only option, and it always worked perfectly for him. It was exactly like breathing, he didn't need to pay attention in order to draw the fiery greatsword, and in all honesty? That scared him a bit. But pushing dark thoughts away, he closely trailed beside the captain until he was stopped for introductions. It was short, but straight to the point. As formal as Damian was, the shortness was a bit offending to the poor heartless (literally) creature, but he knew he couldn't expect any better from a pirate. Are the rest of them informal like that? He internally cringed at the thought. Mon Dieu... What have I gotten myself into? Again his thoughts were interrupted with the soft clash against his hip. He turned his head, cheeks dusted pink and ready to protest that just because he wasn't human didn't mean he didn't have manners, though he hesitated and just ended up with a smile. "Oui!"
Damian's jealousy came rushing back when he noticed Valerius leaving, ending up with a discreet pout on the Frenchman's lips. Actually, he had almost let this irritation show with his golden-yellow eyes flashing to an upset fiery orange for just a split second. I don't know why, but I have problems with that child.
Damian decided to stop counting how many times he had to push his complex thoughts away. Looking down to the dark-blonde girl, Damian lift his lips into a sweet smile. "Bonjour, mademoiselle," he bowed slightly. "I am Damian, though you probably already heard. I don't think I've ever had a nickname before..." He looked upwards in an attempt to think, but he soon shrugged. "I don't quite remember. My memory isn't as great as I'd like it to be." He explained with a soft chuckle. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Finally, a question that isn't new!

((I DIDN'T EXPECT MY RESPONSE TO BE SO LONG
WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEE))

yEs

The one I'm on is pretty powerful. When I first went on it, it worked right away. My previous antidepressant was known to worsen thr depression and cause a heavy gloomy feeling and cause violent thoughts, especially of mass murder. I had aaalllllll of those side effects. It also mellows the person. M8, I'm mellow enough, I need e n e r g y . Twas a nasty time and I am thankful that they changed me to this one. THE TASTE IS AWFUL THO.

Thanks, guys. ♡ It really means a lot.
We started increasing my antidepressants not long ago, so this spike is a bit odd.

Frack-
I just hope I'm not going to do anything stupid that I'll regret later. It's the main reason tk why I had a week long break. I was so depressed I nearly cut off every collab I've ever had.

I'd really like that. ♡ Honestly, they're one of the reasons I haven't left the rp community. I've tried to leave a few times, but there are still great collabs I've got and they actually help my mental state. When I'm in s heavy depression, I ebd yp doing things I regret later. I need to check so that if I do act upon something, I won't feel like hurting myself later.

In the subject of depression
Does pfizer have a side effect of bringing down someone's mood? Because my mood has dropped by a lot since yesterday. Even more right now.

I'll gladly help!

I'm just assuming Damian and Valerius aren't a thing anymore...? I feel like my joy with them is one sided, and I need to know so I can see if more of my energy is being wasted...

I still care, but that probably doesn't mean anything. ;-;