3 Ways To Handle Your Friends When They Piss You Off

The people you love the most are often the people who get you the angriest. On the one hand you want to assert yourself. On the other hand you’d be devastated if the relationship wasn’t as strong to survive confrontation. So what’s the balance? When do you voice how you really feel? When do you not take it personally and keep your mouth shut? Here are 3 situations and how to deal with them. 

1. Your friend has a tendency to be at least 30 minutes late. Once or twice you understand. Her excuses are usually lame. Now it’s ten times in the last three months and you’ve reached your boiling point. You keep feeling pissed off because you know she’s going to do it again. Maybe this isn’t the end of the world, there’s no real crisis here but it’s inconsiderate. If she really knew how you felt, maybe she’d make a real effort to be on time. Have the conversation, don’t do it in an accusatory way. Talk in “I sentences.” In other words “I feel like you don’t care about me because over the last few months you’ve shown up late and it makes me feel like you don’t care about me or my time.” 

2. Your friend thinks she may get fired. She seems overly sensitive and has actually gotten angry at you even though you haven’t done anything. And that pisses you off. You haven’t said anything because you’ve lost your job before and when you calm down you can relate to her feelings. You’ve decided to bite the bullet and support her. 

3. Your best friend starts to date someone new and it’s getting serious. Until this point you’ve been spending a lot of time together.  Now you’re lucky if you see her once a week. You’re getting pissed off. But on the other hand you’re happy for her because she deserves a loving relationship. Both of you have been quibbling and getting upset over little things. But it’s not the real issue. The fact is, you’re hurt. You miss her. You want to spend more time together. You’ve decided to call her up and set a time to talk about what’s really going on.