4 Ways of Getting Rid of Unproductive Guilt

3 ways to feel better about yourself ... 5 Things A Confident Woman Does NOT P...

4 Ways of Getting Rid of Unproductive Guilt

Far too many moms worry full-time (or at least part-time!) about “neglecting” their children because of work. This doesn’t help matters and makes them feel worse. Here’s how to get a handle on the Guilt Trap!

Make your own rules
The bottom line is moms who work outside the home feel guilty because they’ve been taught to feel guilty, not because they have something to feel guilty about. Our society has been making shifts in what's considered to be the accepted roles of men and women but it's taking too long. You don't have to wait for society to change the rules. Make your own.

Observe your guilt and fears
Too many of my female clients have told me, “When I’m at work I’m thinking of my children but when I’m home with them I can’t get work off my mind.” If you’re feeling guilty for not being at home while you’re at work and you’re feeling you should be working when you’re at home, that’s fine for now. Begin to notice the times you feel guilty or afraid you’re short-changing either your kids or feel bad for not getting all your work at the office done. Practice saying, “That’s interesting, I just had another guilt attack.”

Don’t criticize yourself
Take the accusing voice telling you what you’re doing wrong and turn it into a supportive voice telling you what you’re doing right. If you’re thinking about a time you weren’t able to be at one of your kid’s school events, replace it with a mental movie of a time or two when you were able to be at their event. You have to tell your brain what you want it to focus on. The first scenario won’t help you continue to be the great mom you already are; the second one will. Choose that one.

You’re not alone
Who doesn’t feel guilty—most of us do. But if we support each other by reaffirming that we are doing the best we can, very imperfectly, we can develop a new habit, namely letting go of guilt sooner.