Love is in the Air!

​I can’t allow Valentine’s Day to come and go without talking about love and marriage. This morning on Hoda and Kathie Lee (yes, I watch their show—and love it! What of it?), they had some couples on who’ve been married for fifty to sixty (plus) years sharing their secrets of a happy and healthy marriage. Now, I’ve been married a fraction of that time, but I also have secrets to a happy, healthy marriage that I like to share whenever I can—and guess what? The advice I give is the exact same advice they were dishing out this morning.

EXCITED!

A short while ago, Toby and I were laughing about how some husbands have the tendency to block out their wife when she’s talking about something he may not want to hear. We call it “selective hearing.” I made the comment that, besides Toby’s selective hearing, I have absolutely no complaints about our marriage and that it’s near perfect (praise God!). A relative who was in the room with us commented, “That’s scary,” and made an ugly face.

I immediately recalled that this person’s marriage had been anything but happy (she’s divorced, and has been for many years). Her marriage had been poisoned with alcohol abuse, which she chose over her own husband and children. Her marriage was a place of toxicity, misery, and unhappiness. So much so, that she did nothing to try to save it or better it, so it ended in divorce. So, no … I don’t expect a person who never cherished her own marriage to understand why Toby and I cherish and nurture ours. I also don’t expect her to understand what a healthy marriage even means. This person went on to insist (repeatedly) that our marriage must have problems because every marriage does. No, every marriage doesn’t. Do we ever argue? Yes. Do we disagree on things occasionally? Yes. Do we have marital issues? NO!

And here’s why….

If you treat your marriage as the most important thing in your life (because it is), it will continue to prosper into eternity!









​So how do you keep your marriage strong, loving, peaceful, vibrant, and happy?

​Here’s what works for us:The first and most important advice I can give for a healthy marriage is to follow biblical instructions. There’s a reason God’s Word informs women on how to treat their husbands, and informs men on how to treat their wives—because it WORKS! (Ephesians 5:22-29).   
Don’t go to bed angry. EVER! Fix your issues and make them right before you lay your head down at night. Don’t start the next day off on yesterday’s ugliness. Start it fresh and new. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” Ephesians 4:26.    
Cherish your marriage from the very beginning. If you nurture your marriage in the good times, there will be far less bad times to come. The biggest mistake couples make is they wait until things get bad before seeking counseling/guidance. If you put this same effort into your marriage from day one, you may never get to the breaking point. Also, when you hit rough waters, it won’t destroy you because you’ll be ready—you’ve already prepared yourselves for it. 
Have the mindset that you’ve become ONE now that you’re married. Married couples are to be viewed as a unit instead of two individuals. This way you’ll be able to experience the joy and excitement that God intends marriage to have. Every decision involves you both, so keep in mind how the other one will be affected and never leave them out. “And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh” Mark 10:8.



​Right before Toby and I got married we participated in the “Fireproof Your Marriage” Bible Study. So, basically, we went into our marriage STRONG (Fireproofed) and we’ve kept it that way ever since by continuing to participate in other marriage-focused Bible Studies. In fact, Matt and Lauren Chandler are getting ready to do a simulcast called “Mingling of Souls,” which focuses on building healthy relationships in marriage. We’ll be getting together in our home with other couples for this simulcast.



Treat your marriage like the precious gem that it is and it will continue to PROSPER! Your marriage is your blessing and gift from God!

 

It’s been my own personal experience that when you marry your best friend, it gets better and better over the years. You grow closer, stronger, happier, and more in love.