Should vs. Want

A few blogs back, I wrote about understanding the “why” behind what we do and how it is important to identify with this why. I’m bringing this back up today as we are about to wrap up January and all around me I hear, “I should go to the gym, I should network, I should eat salad, etc.” So… why isn’t it happening?

Now don’t get me wrong, I know these things aren’t easy to do and I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out (by any means) but I will suggest something to try—want those things. Not too long ago, I was in the same place… I should eat healthy, I should go to the gym. I changed my mind and decided I was going to eat healthy if I wanted to or go to the gym if I wanted to. If I didn’t, there was no pressure. Guess what? Of course I’ve been eating healthier and going to the gym more often… go figures.

So here is my theory and I’m sure there is some sort of proven psychology behind all this so please bear with me if I’m repeating something you’re already aware of. I personally have too much to do and too many people to be (good mom, boss, wife, employee, daughter in law, daughter, etc.) and quite frankly, the pressure gets overwhelming at times. I would bet I’m not alone. So to take a different approach, I decided I was going to do what I wanted, when I wanted. It made me realize that I want to be healthier, I want to feel fit and good, I want to learn and excel in my job and somehow I had lost track of all these wants as I’ve been swallowed by all the “shoulds” in my life.

What about you? Sure you should work out today or eat an apple instead of a snickers bar but what do you want to do? If your end game is that you want to feel great and be fit, working out and more apples may outweigh snickers (not to say you can’t ever eat a candy bar). That is where the “why” comes in. We need to understand the “why” as it connects us to the bigger picture. If someone asked us if we wanted to gain 5 pounds of fat, we’d probably say “no” but it isn’t always easy to equate this big picture with a few weeks/months of junk food and no exercise.

Lesson of the day? Do what you want, not what you should AND truly understand WHAT it is that you want (the “why”). Happy writing this week!

 

 

Filed under: A writer's life, romance, Toni Kelly