2 Common Mistakes that Rob Our Motivation

What you hold as a belief is a crucial factor in the decisions you make, your choices, and your well being. Beliefs are also a critical factor in how you perform and ultimately, the quality of your results. When I considered the role of the beliefs I’ve used to guide my choices, I discovered that one of mine was thinking that my feelings were dangerous. I learned this through programs I took early in my career, and that my emotions could derail my thinking. Therefore, I can let facts and evidence guide my choices, and I should manage my feelings. In fact, I’ve discovered since then, that our emotions are incredibly intelligent. The differences in how things turn out when faced with a challenge are largely a function of how skillfully we make sense of and act on the intelligence contained in our emotions. 

Many of us think that our emotions are potential derailers – this is a common mistake! My insight woke me up to the implication that the more we can use our emotions consciously during problem solving and decision-making, the better our motivation and vitality during stress. Overcoming this mistake can help you arrive at some options for action that will meet your needs and solve your dilemmas.  

The second common mistake in our thinking is that emotions occur in response to events and circumstances. It’s easy to see how we came to believe this. When we are angry, we often say “He makes me so angry!” Or when we’re frustrated, “She is so frustrating to work with.” And when disappointed, “Last month’s numbers were so disappointing.” 

The fact is that your emotions are driven by your subconscious assessments as to whether you ARE or are NOT on track to fulfill your needs. For instance, you could have the need to achieve a goal. It’s not that she is frustrating, but that you have a goal your subconscious determines you are not on track to meet. It’s not that he made you angry, but your subconscious assesses you are not on track to assert a right. Viewing emotions this way puts the power in your hands, and when you can accurately name the feeling, it calms your reaction, increasing your composure. 

Realizing these mistakes can make a transformative difference to your motivation and vitality. Instead of trying to contain and manage your emotions, feel them deeply so you can understand their important message leads to greater composure and resourcefulness. Realize your emotions are carrying important messages that can help you. As debilitating as stress is, there is an even more debilitating consequence of suppressing your painful emotions. You blind yourself to an issue that is key to unleashing your motivation. Try this first with a situation where you are feeling frustrated. There is a simple 5-step method called TENOR you can use to decode your frustration and unleash your motivation. Your emotions point the way.

 

 

 

 

Andrea Zintz, President, Strategic Leadership Resources (SLR)www.strategicleadershipresources.com