NEWSPEAK, DOUBLESPEAK, PROPAGANDA NOWSPEAK.
Here's a brand new piece from my forthcoming Two Beat Newbie book:
NEWSPEAK, DOUBLESPEAK, PROPAGANDA NOWSPEAK.
Friendly Fire = Friendly.
Anarchism = Violence.
Peace Keepers = Peace.
Democracy = Equality.
Capitalism = Democracy.
Capitalism = The Only Sensible World There Is.
Democracy = Capitalism.
Anti-Capitalism = Communism.
Socialism = A Bit Like Communism.
Vote Boycotting = You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are To Have The Vote.
Not Backing Your Soldiers 100% = Suspicious.
Islam = Terrorism.
Terrorism = Middle East.
Allah and Jehovah = Not The Same God.
Christianity = Good.
Islam = Bad.
Minimum Wage = Fairness.
Public Money Spent On War = Security.
Classified = For Your Own Safety.
The News = Absolute Truth.
Television = The Real World.
The Internet = The Real World.
Video Games= The Real World.
Nigel Farage = Nice Bloke Who Must Be One Of Us Because He Drinks And Smokes.
David Cameron = Oh He Must Be Alright, He’s Called Dave.
Russell Brand = Don’t Take His Views Seriously.
Jeremy Clarkson = It’s Very Important That You Should Always Know About Jeremy Clarkson.
Advertisements = Things You Should Have, Need And Deserve.
Latest Models = Things You Need Because Other People Don’t Have Them Yet.
Meat = Not Animal.
Meat = Animal.
Humanity = The Greatest.
Career = Life.
Money = Life.
Life = The Human World.
Sex = Nothing Is As Important As Sex.
Love = Rom-com Happy Ending.
Drugs = Bad.
Prescribed Drugs = Good.
Another Country = Not As Good As Our Country.
The System = Serving You.
Building New Builds = There’s A Housing Crisis.
Building New Roads = Getting Somewhere Quicker Is More Important Than Nature And The Environment.
Charity = Once A Year Telethons.
Grace = Will And Grace.
The National Lottery = It Could Be You.
Washing Powder = This One Is Definitely Better Than The One We Had Last Year And The Year Before That And…
Toilet Tissue = Much More Important Than You Think.
Conspiracy Theorist = A Nutty, Gaga, Lala, Kook, Cuckoo, Screwed Up, Boozed Up, Mashed Up, Mad As A Brush, Bonkers, Conkers, What A Plonker, Crazy Person.
1984 = Fiction.
NEWSPEAK, DOUBLESPEAK, PROPAGANDA NOWSPEAK.
Friendly Fire = Friendly.
Anarchism = Violence.
Peace Keepers = Peace.
Democracy = Equality.
Capitalism = Democracy.
Capitalism = The Only Sensible World There Is.
Democracy = Capitalism.
Anti-Capitalism = Communism.
Socialism = A Bit Like Communism.
Vote Boycotting = You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are To Have The Vote.
Not Backing Your Soldiers 100% = Suspicious.
Islam = Terrorism.
Terrorism = Middle East.
Allah and Jehovah = Not The Same God.
Christianity = Good.
Islam = Bad.
Minimum Wage = Fairness.
Public Money Spent On War = Security.
Classified = For Your Own Safety.
The News = Absolute Truth.
Television = The Real World.
The Internet = The Real World.
Video Games= The Real World.
Nigel Farage = Nice Bloke Who Must Be One Of Us Because He Drinks And Smokes.
David Cameron = Oh He Must Be Alright, He’s Called Dave.
Russell Brand = Don’t Take His Views Seriously.
Jeremy Clarkson = It’s Very Important That You Should Always Know About Jeremy Clarkson.
Advertisements = Things You Should Have, Need And Deserve.
Latest Models = Things You Need Because Other People Don’t Have Them Yet.
Meat = Not Animal.
Meat = Animal.
Humanity = The Greatest.
Career = Life.
Money = Life.
Life = The Human World.
Sex = Nothing Is As Important As Sex.
Love = Rom-com Happy Ending.
Drugs = Bad.
Prescribed Drugs = Good.
Another Country = Not As Good As Our Country.
The System = Serving You.
Building New Builds = There’s A Housing Crisis.
Building New Roads = Getting Somewhere Quicker Is More Important Than Nature And The Environment.
Charity = Once A Year Telethons.
Grace = Will And Grace.
The National Lottery = It Could Be You.
Washing Powder = This One Is Definitely Better Than The One We Had Last Year And The Year Before That And…
Toilet Tissue = Much More Important Than You Think.
Conspiracy Theorist = A Nutty, Gaga, Lala, Kook, Cuckoo, Screwed Up, Boozed Up, Mashed Up, Mad As A Brush, Bonkers, Conkers, What A Plonker, Crazy Person.
1984 = Fiction.
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message 1:
by
Rupert
(new)
Jan 07, 2016 11:19AM
You forgot to include 'tinfoil hat total twat' for conspiracy theorist ;-)
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Rupert wrote: "You forgot to include 'tinfoil hat total twat' for conspiracy theorist ;-)"Ha, yeah - damn it! I forgot about that seeing as I am one.
:)
Rupert wrote: "You forgot to include 'tinfoil hat total twat' for conspiracy theorist ;-)"Well I ain't gonna read it now.
Washing Powder = This One Is Definitely Better Than The One We Had Last Year And The Year Before That And…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRx03...
Arthur wrote: "Washing Powder = This One Is Definitely Better Than The One We Had Last Year And The Year Before That And…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRx03..."
Nice one Arthur. Always good to hear the Furs.
