"“Is it going to be a problem that I like Benedict too?” Ophelia bit her lip behind Alixx’s..."
“Is it going to be a problem that I like Benedict too?” Ophelia bit her lip behind Alixx’s head, still holding onto the other girl.
Alixx’s words didn’t come immediately, but when they did they sounded careful, considered. “I… I don’t know. I know that a lot of magicians are doing things that way now. Being… polyamorous.”
Ophelia’s arms tightened around her.
“It’s just that, we’re young. How are we supposed to know what we’re going to be okay with?” Alixx continued.
“Why don’t we try?” Ophelia asked softly.
Alixx sighed. “But what if we hurt each other? What if you like Benedict more than you… love me? This probably sounds so backwards to you.” Alixx shook her head, and her hair came forward, into her face.
“It doesn’t sound backwards.” Ophelia took the time to reach out and curl Alixx’s hair behind her ears, out of her face. Her gaze dipped to Alixx’s lips, but she kept a reasonable distance for the conversation. “It sounds like you have worries. Legitimate worries, even.”
Alixx nodded, then leaned into Ophelia’s hand.
“I can’t convince you that we’re never going to hurt each other,” Ophelia said honestly. “I wouldn’t, even if I had no interest in anyone else. But… loving Benedict more than I love you? Love isn’t finite, sweetheart. My love certainly isn’t.” She bit her lip, seeming to struggle with how to phrase what she was thinking.
“Okay, yeah, I get that. My love isn’t either.” Alixx’s brow screwed up as she thought. “But… maybe we could have some time? Time where it’s just us, before… you and Benedict…?”
Ophelia smiled. “I think that’s exactly how I’d love to do it,” she said.
”-
from “Big Damn Heroes” (working title)
Poly in Fiction #9
I swear I’ve had this conversation before, and others like it, more than once, in multiple conversations over the past ten years.
I wrote this passage today. It took me over an hour and saw me getting stuck several times, desperately reading out dialogue to @fragilesoftmachines and asking how I should go about writing the next part.
By the time I got to the end of it, I felt achieved, but also like WTF?
I started this series of blog posts to try to consciously conceive of how I might go about writing my own polyamorous fiction outside of fanfic of other peoples’ work. There really isn’t a lot out there to learn from, and the only understanding I personally have of how to write it has come from what I’ve read of Cat Valente’s work and, of course, fanfiction.
Today, I realised that this small amount of influence in literature–plus my own personal experience–seriously isn’t enough for my writing of it to come organically. But I got there once: today. Hopefully that’ll mean it’s all downhill from here.
Or… something similarly motivating…
