Disney Junior: From Most To Least Disturbing
Disney Junior’s afternoon lineup is really disturbing. And I don’t just mean all the scenes in Star Wars: Rebels where Chopper, who is clearly supposed to be black (if the hilariously stereotyped music videos featuring his “rapping” are anything to go by), acts as the crew’s slave and constantly gets hit for not doing his job right. Star Wars: Rebels is, indeed, a single protracted exercise in uncomfortably racist humor. But, then again, so is Goldie and Bear. I watched an episode of that show with my son last night that managed both to convey that African Americans don’t have jobs and that you have to “shrink to his size” before you can communicate successfully with your Mexican gardener, and that led me to decide that it was time to write this post. So, without further ado…
Miles From Tomorrowland absolutely tops this list. This world appears to be a matriarchal one, where men exist for the sole purpose of providing pleasure. To wit, we see in every episode how Miles’ sister is receiving an education–presumably, so she can become a ship’s captain like her mom–while Miles, himself is left to roam around in the company of a mechanical babysitter. There doesn’t appear to be any even expectation that Miles will apply himself about anything, or to anything. Because why should he? His father’s sole role, apart from humoring his mother, seems to be looking handsome and providing pancakes.
And that all is ignoring the fact that these two quite young children are a) in space, alone, with no companions their own age, b) exposed continually to adult-sized threats and, c) in the case of Miles’ sister, expected to work along side the adults. Childhood does not seem to be a feature of this society. Which begs the question: at what point are children–the female ones at least–trained for the jobs they’re then forced to take? Are their parents parents, or coworkers?
Goldie and Bear is an absolutely terrible show, with terrible music. Also, I’m sorry, it’s right there in the opening: she vandalized his stuff so he has to be her friend forever. What kind of Stockholm Syndrome relationship is this? Moreover, okay. Bear and his family are clearly supposed to be black. But apparently interracial friendship is so horrendous of a concept that Goldie has to be a different species altogether. Interspecies being easier to handle? Bear’s parents are home all day, every day, because apparently we’re also digging right to the bottom of the barrel for the most harmful stereotypes we can find and projecting them straight into children’s minds. Meanwhile Goldie…Goldie, like so many other children in these shows, appears to have no parents at all.
She and Bear just–what? Hang around, doing nothing, getting menaced by the neighborhood pedophile? What exactly is Big Bad Wolf’s deal, anyway? And why aren’t they in school? Why doesn’t Bear wear pants? Why, when Goldie is mean to Bear in one episode, does Bear’s mother tell Bear that he “has” to be friends with her regardless? And not just right now, but forever?
Sofia the First is a show about a girl who becomes “a princess overnight.”
Okay.
How?
Did the–mysteriously genitals free–king just abduct her mom? Like, while he was riding through the village? What happened to Sofia’s dad? What, for that matter, happened to the king’s wife? Is he, like, keeping her locked in the dungeons Jane Eyre-style? It wouldn’t surprise me, because his children are clearly disturbed. James, who shakes like a leaf when anyone approaches him, seems to spend most of his time in the corner wishing he had friends. He’s not good at anything, and the other children make fun of him for that. Or treat him like an invalid. Amber, meanwhile, is a narcissist with a serious violent streak. These two, who’d top almost any list for step siblings from hell, need professional help. Which Sofia, on some level, seems to realize.
She has friends. She has some sense of values. Unlike, presumably, the future ruler(s) of this kingdom. What happens to her, though, when the king gets tired of this wife? Does she go into the dungeon, too? Why is this never explained? And why has no one, for that matter, noticed that Sofia seems to spend an awful lot of time talking to animals (and responding to comments that no one else can hear)? Could it be because, in this world, no one seems terribly attached to their children? After all, this “school for royalty” she attends appears to be some sort of boarding school where children from around the globe are just…dumped. When their presumable parents appear, it’s really only ever to talk to Sofia. What’s up with that?
PJ Masks is yet another show about children with no parents. These children leave their beds in the middle of the night to spar with other children, Lost Boys-style, who also have no parents. In fact, in this year’s supposed “holiday” episode, we discover that Luna Girl lives alone under some sort of underpass and has no one and nothing to keep her company except her moths. Bring on the cheer, kids! I’m sorry, but “this child acts out, to the point where she appears villainous to other children, because she’s homeless” isn’t an appropriate storyline for toddlers. Or indeed for many adults!
Jake and the Never Land Pirates, the last show on this list, is about a man with three different children by three different women who lives in a trailer park. At least according to my son. You see, Captain Hook (“Daddy Hook,” as my son calls him) is Jake’s father. He’s also Izzy’s and Cubby’s. Mr. Smee is grandpa, and the two crack addicts sailors are uncles. Various episodes revolve around such blue collar woes as trying out a new and ill-fitting prosthetic, the angst you cause your kids when you make money illegally, and sobering up enough to enjoy the holidays.
Being a reformed redneck myself (although how reformed depends on who you ask), I recognized these things right away. Just like I also recognized the kids’ apparently never ending quest for a legitimate role model, Captain Hook’s mom’s disgust with his life choices and the fact that, when push comes to shove, Captain Hook really does act like a parent. Although seriously, have you ever seen the weed episode? Those tikis, man. I do think, though, that anyone who’s spent time in a trailer park would recognize the landscape: oddly shaped, often cobbled together houses that might be close together in theory but that really do constitute their own little kingdoms. Lots of strange “treasure” lying around. And danger, too, most often posed by the neighbors. Many of whom also seem obsessed by inexplicable and arguably pointless things. A fondness for lawn ornaments.
My, it’s amazing how wholesome Disney can be.
