How To Stop Gossipers In Their Tracks

It’s likely we’ve all been guilty of some type of gossip in the past. That’s understandable because no one is perfect. But what do you do with someone who resorts to gossip at every turn?  Here are 3 tips to stop them in their tracks:

Set a new boundary
If you’ve been allowing a gossiper to pull you into their “confidence” you have to own up to your own behavior first. You do that by stating upfront, “Bill, I know I’ve had these kinds of conversations with you before. I apologize for that and just so you know, I won’t be doing that from now on. Thanks for your understanding.”

Protect your new boundary
When you lay out your new standards of behavior, it’s likely the gossiper will be defensive or even offended. In this case, “being forewarned is being forearmed”—you’ll be ready for it. You might be uncomfortable with the gossiper’s reaction to your new boundary, but not as uncomfortable as you’d be if you weren’t prepared to protect your new boundary.

There is no good time to do this
If you wait until you feel like setting your new boundary, it will never happen. Most people find it very difficult to confront a gossiper, so if you do, that’s understandable. Tell yourself, “I can deal with this once and for all and be done with it or I can keep getting myself dragged into the gossip. I choose the former.”

 

                                                                  - Alan Allard, Executive Coach