Was Thomas Jefferson an Alien, Or Quadruplets?

This may be a strange topic for the inaugural post of my blog on this new site, but I figured it was appropriate, since most of my writing to this point has involved aliens, although no quadruplets. So far.

So, you're probably wondering what's with the goofy title? Well, Jan (my wife) and I went down to Madison, Virginia over Thanksgiving and took the opportunity to visit Jefferson's home at Monticello while we were making our merry way through some of the awesome wineries in the area. Needless to say, if you're ever out that way, seeing Jefferson's estate there is  a must. The man, like a number of his peers like Benjamin Franklin, was simply amazing.

Which is why I think he must have been an alien, or wasn't really a single man, but one of a group of quadruplets (at least). At a minimum he was a human gerbil on speed. I am led to this inevitable conclusion by the evidence that he simply got far too much done for a single mere human being:

Authored the Declaration of Independence, a minor world-changing literary feat. I can imagine his response when he was chosen by the Continental Congress to draft it: "Sure, dudes, I can knock something out. Give me a weekend. Hey, Hancock, pass me a quill, will you?"
Taught himself how to be an architect, and when he wasn't off doing some other amazing thing, busied himself with designing, building, redesigning, and rebuilding Monticello (see where the whole quadruplets thing starts coming into play?). I was able to build a pretty nifty cabin with Lincoln Logs, but somehow that doesn't quite compare.
Rose through a succession of offices to become the third President of the United States. Okay, maybe nowadays that's not so remarkable considering some of the candidates we see on the ballot. Never mind.
Learned half a dozen languages in his copious free time, while he was gathering a library of over six thousand volumes (actually, that apparently was his second out of three libraries) that he gave over to the fledgeling U.S. Government to form the core of what was to become the Library of Congress. By contrast, all I would have to turn over is a couple of boxes of paperbacks I've kept and my Amazon Kindle, which has all my other thousands of books (really…trust me!). And I can barely read and write in English.
Founded the University of Virginia. When was the last time anybody you knew founded a university? In his copious free time, of course!
When he was president, he also founded the United States Military Academy (West Point). Probably another part-time effort over a few weekends.
Was America's "first distinguished viticulturist." It's okay, I didn't know what that meant either when I first saw it, but basically he liked wine. A lot. And when he wasn't trying to grow wine or enjoying it with his friends and family, he was out in the garden growing some truly amazing vegetables, some of which could be featured in sci-fi flicks, or could be presidential candidates.

And those were just the high points. How can anyone get all that done in a single lifetime? The answer: you can't. So he must've been an alien, or had identical brothers so they could get so many things done. Had to be.

All kidding aside, Jefferson was an amazing man who did many amazing things. He had his failings, which made him human (and is the one thing that sort of torpedoes my alien theory, although I'm not entirely willing to give up on it), but I like to think that all of us have at least a spark of the potential shown by him and the other amazing people our world has been blessed with over time. So look into releasing your inner Jefferson, to toss away your self-imposed limits and see what you can accomplish in life. Or at least make sure that your tentacles are always tucked away so no one suspects your true nature.