The Paris Attacks: Using Sad News to Spark an Open Discussion
The news was devastating. Terrorists attacked multiple locations in Paris and killed more than a hundred innocent people. What happened is almost incomprehensible.
While we try to shield our children from such horrors in the world, it’s impossible to protect them from everything they hear when they are outside of our home. And while kids may hear about news like this, they don’t always understand it. How then do we answer their inevitable questions and concerns?
What happened, Mommy?
Did people get hurt?
Are there bad men out there?
I’m scared.
Here are some tips for communicating with your children during and after a tragedy.
Very Young Children
Be honest: Encourage them to talk about their feelings and ask their questions. Pretending these events aren’t a big deal will only confuse them more. While it might be hard for you, as an adult, to understand what is happening, your children rely on you to be honest with them.
Make them feel safe and secure: Be their safe haven. Let them know that your home is their sanctuary, and they are safe there.
Manage exposure to content: Limit the amount of news they see on TV and online. Sometimes a simple, “There are some bad people in the world, but the majority of them are very good,” is enough to ease a child’s mind.
Middle School Children
Open up discussions: While it’s harder to limit what your middle school kids hear online and at school, ask them if they have heard the news and if they have any questions. Sometimes they may feel that they are old enough to handle bad news. Let them know it’s still okay to talk to you about their feelings.
Educate kids: Take the opportunity to study a map of the world with them and pinpoint the locations they have been hearing about.
Keep the lines of communication open: If your child doesn’t want to talk about events, know when to back away. Let them know you are available if and when they have questions.
High School Children
Manage emotions: Your teenager probably thinks he or she knows everything there is to know, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling a little upset or scared. Let them know that it’s okay to be afraid and unsure. Violence and killing is scary. In deciding whether to share details or not, go at their pace. They will let you know if they are ready to talk about the news.
Be watchful: Watch for signs of depression. Bad news can sometimes get the best of us, and it’s not uncommon to feel hopeless about the situation. Make sure your teen isn’t hiding his or her real feelings.
3. Validate their emotions: It’s okay to share that you are feeling a little scared or angry as well.
No matter how old children are, they should know that we all come together in times of tragedy. Reach out into your own communities and nationally to get involved with organizations helping victims and families.
You can also use this as an opportunity to discuss different types of emergencies, whether natural or manmade. Create a family emergency plan, and make sure your kids know who they can contact if you aren’t around. Encourage them to participate in being part of the solution. It will help build empathy and teach them kindness and compassion.
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