13 Tips to Help You Master Giving Feedback

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Giving feedback is never easy, especially when it’s negative. Whether you’re on the giving or the receiving end, if the feedback is not delivered well, it can be extremely uncomfortable and lead to tension and hurt feelings. 

To make feedback more pleasant for everyone involved, follow these rules for how to deliver negative feedback to your coworkers.

Feedback should be based on something observable

Feedback should be rooted in things you can describe in detail, like behaviors or comments made in the office. Instead of saying, “You didn’t use your time well” try “I noticed you still had three high-priority items on your schedule when you left on Friday. What happened?”

Suggest actions for the receiver to take in the future

Suggest future actions that are achievable and realistic. Try kindly suggesting they try new ways of tracking time, like, “Why don’t you experiment by coming into the office at different times to see if it affects your workflow? I notice when I come in early, I’m able to knock out my high-priority tasks much faster than when I get a late start.” 

State the purpose of your feedback early on

Even when suggestions are well-intentioned, it’s better to lead with something like, “I want to help you become even better at time-management,” instead of, “I have some suggestions about your time-management.” Knowing up front what the goal is can prevent rash judgments or hurt feelings. The feedback may be aimed at a certain project, but without knowing the receiver may assume you’re talking about all of their work, or worse, about them in general. 

Communicate the main point before going into details

If you need revisions on a proposal, start with that instead of leading with a laundry list. “Could you revise this proposal? The client prefers X, Y and Z” is more clear than “The client really prefers X, Y and Z. Can you revise this?” 

Share positives first, and be specific

Starting out a conversation with the words “I don’t like…” is sure to get the conversation off on the wrong foot. Instead, be specific about what they did well before recommending what you think could be revised. This helps make the conversation a bit friendlier. Plus, when they know what they did well, they can continue to do it in the future.

Make it a two-way conversation

Nobody likes being told what to do, especially if it’s coming from someone they feel has no right to tell them what to do. Replace “I think you should…” with something like, “What do you think about changing…” Help them come up with their own solutions, and they’ll feel much better about implementing them. If it’s relevant to the situation, asking for feedback on your own performance can increase engagement in the conversation as well. 

Focus on the action, not the person

I’m sure you’ve heard this one before, but it’s one of those things that’s easier said than done. When giving negative feedback, remember to focus on the action with statements like “I think the project could have focused more on…” This will go over better than, “I think you could have focused more on…” 

Use “I” versus “You” when possible

When possible, re-word feedback to use “I” statements. For instance, you may want to say something like, “I might take this approach when calling a client” in place of “You should take this approach when calling a client.” This way, you seem to be offering friendly advice instead of belittling demands. 

Be specific and descriptive

When something needs changed, it’s tempting to just say “Please revise this.” But without knowing what exactly needs changed, or the purpose of changing it, the receiver is not likely to make much improvement. Be clear. When the receiver knows the purpose, they’re more inclined to hit the mark. 

Use positive phrasing

Avoid harsh words by using more positive alternatives that come across as constructive instead of hostile or confrontational. For example, in writing, instead of asking the writer to make changes, tell them, “I really like the direction this is headed, but we need to fine-tune a few things to make it a really great.” 

Give the feedback at the right time

Timing is everything when giving feedback. As a general rule, it’s best to give feedback as soon as possible following the event. But, you may need to wait until the person is free so you have their full attention and can meet privately. Delivering negative feedback isn’t fun, but addressing the problem immediately is far better than letting it become brushed under the rug.

Focus on behavior that can change

Take an introverted coworker. It may be affecting their work, but a comment like, “You seem very introverted; why don’t you try talking to others more?” will fall on deaf ears. Instead, focus on an action that the receiver can take by saying something like, “I think the rest of the team would like to hear your thoughts. Why don’t we set up a casual meeting to talk about it?” 

Use relaxed body language

Giving constructive criticism well goes beyond the words you use. Non-verbal cues (like body language) also play a part in effectively giving feedback. Sit or stand on the same level, make eye contact and smile. Try to avoid crossed arms or stern looks. If feedback is being given via email, break it up into shorter paragraphs so it feels more friendly and less like an angry rant. 

Nobody likes negative feedback, but delivering it well can make a world of difference—both in the outcomes and the attitudes of everyone involved. Next time you’re delivering constructive criticism, be sure to remember these rules. 

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Sarah Landrum is the founder of Punched Clocks, a site dedicated to sharing advice on all things career. Follow her on Twitter @SarahLandrum for more great tips!