Ask Isaac: The Booty Caller Who Won’t Text Back

Hi there. I relate 100% to how this guy is behaving, so let me explain to you exactly why you have to stop seeing him right now.

I’m a changed man. But in my younger years, I went through a few bouts of low self-esteem where the only way I could get validation was by having a girl (or multiple girls) who liked me “on call.” Whether or not I liked them back was irrelevant. What mattered to me was feeling like there was somebody out there who cared about me, was attracted to me, who would answer the phone and come running at any time of the day or night.

To me, they were like drugs I used to make myself feel better whenever I was feeling shitty. To them, I was like a Tasmanian devil who’d show up every once in a while, shower them with an enormous amount of attention, charm their friends and family then disappear, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake… until the next time I felt like I needed some validation.

I knew what I was doing and I didn’t feel good about it, so I used to try and deter myself by deleting their number, blocking them on my iPhone, un-friending them on Facebook, not responding to text messages, promising myself I would never ever, ever, ever hit them up again. But guess what? LACK OF SELF CONTROL HAPPENED. A week would go by and I’d tell myself that we had a good time, so why not call her up again at midnight on a Tuesday. She wouldn’t come if she didn’t want to, right? RIGHT?

This guy is doing the same thing to you. He’s using you to make himself feel better and you’re allowing it to happen by letting him treat you with disrespect. Stop asking, “How high?” when he says, “Jump.”

He’s shown you who he is and what he wants out of you. He will continue to do this exact same back-and-forth dance with you until it gets old for him or until you delete his number and put down the phone. Booty Callers make collect calls: whoever accepts ends up paying.

Collage by Krista Anna Lewis.  Want more Isaac?  Click here.  Want to see Isaac with makeup on (sort of)?  Click here.

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